The cruise was all going well until they told us we were having a stopover in South Africa.

15/02/21 13:03:26

Dave's stretch limo canoe hire business was going well

15/02/21 14:32:06

Government announces plans to forcibly remove and relocate unimaginative captioneers.

15/02/21 12:00:53

"Right, I've called The King's Arms on The Isle of Man and ordered twenty pints of Stella. LET'S GO"

15/02/21 12:33:19

Gerry was the pacemaker in their bid to race the Ferry across the Mersey.

15/02/21 12:40:03

"Get a boom!"

15/02/21 12:00:07

"Pull hard lads. We need to get these perishable fruits to Northern Ireland before Arlene Foster goes completely batshit."

15/02/21 14:24:52

Oxford put in a complaint that Cambridge had used too many members in their boat race team.

15/02/21 12:37:34

"Not far to Shit Creek now."

15/02/21 12:28:05

I entered the flat earth society into the annual round the world paddle race just to tip them over the edge.

15/02/21 12:27:49

July 2021, and unscrupulous people traffickers smuggle refugees and economic migrants out of England to the continent.

15/02/21 12:24:19

The one-and-only performance of the Felixstowe Amateur Players musical version of Titanic.

15/02/21 12:22:13

"Sit the f-ck down Dave. This is a canoe not a gondola."

15/02/21 12:00:25

The Black Lace tribute band thought they had a captive audience on the cruise ship. They thought wrong.

15/02/21 21:59:52

Maori warriors invasion force finally reach Old Blighty, but are so knackered, having set out in 1860... they just get on the dole.

15/02/21 20:33:58

Different Strokes

15/02/21 19:44:12

Finally, a picture from my home country, for which I can write a dazzling caption full of local knowledge and flavour, and it gets posted at 1am my time when I'm sound asleep in bed. Bloody typical ... Anon.

15/02/21 19:20:24

Who knew Bristol had their own navy?

15/02/21 18:49:22

It was some while later when the team realized that in order to move they had to put their oars in the water

15/02/21 15:27:07

Stroke, stroke, we are, no I mean Tom's having a stroke!!

15/02/21 14:40:01

N2CJ, your half hours up, come back in

15/02/21 14:39:29

Churchill 2021

"We shan't fight on the seas, we'll sign their benefits on the beaches, and in the streets. We shall never recover."

15/02/21 14:10:32

I'm not keen on boating holidays, after a while they just seem to drag on.

15/02/21 13:28:57

The cox demands more stokes.

15/02/21 13:03:47

"We won the race guys, but it's time we stopped rowing because we're no longer on the river anymore"

15/02/21 12:41:46

Well the marriage counselor suggested we join the local boating club. But it was no good. We were always rowing.

15/02/21 12:23:29

"Shut up and row Doreen! It was either sneak back in this way, or do ten days in the quarantine hotel."

15/02/21 12:19:43

The whole crew were wondering if they would get their coxswain

15/02/21 12:07:35

"We'll easily win this race, that lot are in quarantine for Covid."

15/02/21 12:00:26

"Ok, Everyone. I think it's time to admit we need a tug."

"Jeez, Phil! While that may raise morale, it's hardly the time or the place!"

15/02/21 12:00:18

Poor working and safety conditions on the ship, forced the union rep' Dave to call a strike. A lot of the crew didn't believe this was a better situation.

16/02/21 16:50:01

That's a good picture. What channel is it on?

15/02/21 21:34:41

Dave got duped, he only wanted a paddle in the sea.

15/02/21 18:23:15

"Hitting the shipping lanes in a canoe?...
...well y'know that's a paddlin."

15/02/21 17:07:26

The first of 5 million migrants with a UK passport arrive from Hong Kong.

15/02/21 12:21:49