"Melania, I think I had my drink spiked and I started hallucinating so that's why I started repeating "Stop the Steal! Stop the Steal!" and then later I found out that they'd stormed the US Capitol building. I think the entire mob had had their drinks spiked too and they were hallucinating that the Democrats were holding hostage a giant pink Republican elephant in the US Capitol so they were trying to liberate it..."

Glyn Evans

That's a better excuse, Glyn, than the one they ultimately came up with.

Willie Johnson