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Who's aged the best, Stonehenge or Art Garfunkel?

30/04/22 10:19:16

He's put on a few stones

30/04/22 9:49:02

“Oh Dan, you’ve got pie all over your jumper.”

30/04/22 8:06:51

"Now, Professor, you've spent many years studying Stonehenge and written many books upon it. I understand today that with the help of the latest technology you're able to reveal the greatest secret of how the ancients succeeded in constructing this amazing monument?"

"Yes. Superglue."

30/04/22 8:51:49

Meet Dave, Wiltshire's reigning croquet champion

30/04/22 8:08:35

It's a mystery as to how it came to be made. I mean, where does the pattern even exist for a sleeveless jumper like that?

30/04/22 8:34:07

"All we can tell you is we don't know how it got here and is really old and believe answers to the name of Dave."

30/04/22 8:28:28

Another good attempt at the camouflage Dave have 1 more try

30/04/22 8:18:45

"And I like taking long walks at Stonehenge, alone."

30/04/22 11:57:07

He looks unhenged.

30/04/22 8:30:22

lol

"Wow, Tim! You weren't kidding - you've done an amazing job on our rockery!"

30/04/22 8:28:58

The Nerdolithic Period

30/04/22 8:00:13

My dad owns a reclamation yard, but won't employ me because he says I'm stupid. I can't wait to see his face when I tell him I've just bought this old pile of stone for £150 quid.

30/04/22 14:16:13

My date with Ichabod seemed like the longest day.

30/04/22 8:50:49

"Nice jumper Mr Stoneface but what made you want to become one of us druids?"

"I want to rid the world of cats."

30/04/22 8:41:41

Did all the druids have centre partings that big?

30/04/22 8:32:46

I found this in a charity shop. The woman said it was clean and not that worn with age, and its name is Dave."

30/04/22 8:31:46

The remake of The Fifth Element looks awful.

30/04/22 8:30:48

creative

"So Mr American, whatcha think of our monolithic standing stones?"

"They're ok. But back home we have much better standing stones. In fact they're stereolithic."

30/04/22 8:08:17

"Is that the 'Stonehenge' jumper, your Nan knitted for you?"

"No. Stupid! Do you think am some kinda geek? This is the 'Luke Skywalker stands off against the At-Ats' jumper, me Nan knitted for me."

30/04/22 8:05:05

Hi captioneers, thought I'd send a pic to let you know what I'm spending my April prize winnings on.

Lots of love,
Stephen Bean x

30/04/22 8:00:24