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"Billy I have something to tell you... Your father was a praying mantis."
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stoneface1 Vote score: 1377stoneface1

"Billy I have something to tell you... Your father was a praying mantis."

08/01/22 20:07:40

"So how come I've never met my father?" "Well, um... he was very good at providing for his family." "I've always felt like I have a little bit of him inside of me." --Willie Johnson
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 6262Lucky Elperro

"Ah, the 1970s. When you fell off your chopper bike, the local coal lorry ran over your arm and your mum gave you a clip round the ear because it made you late for your tea".

09/01/22 0:44:51

The Wolf Vote score: 16170The Wolf

"Sorry to interrupt your little party darling, but would you grab the biscuits from the top of the kitchen cupboards?"

08/01/22 20:09:50

stoneface1 Vote score: 1377stoneface1

"So let me get this right Doreen. You went into that UFO, as recreated in Close Encounters Of The Third Time. Spent a few years flying through the cosmos with your alien friends, and came back pregnant. And you still say nothing happened."

08/01/22 21:39:32

Ian Skelding Vote score: 28969Ian Skelding

“Could you pass the salt and pepper.”
“Yeah, easily and reach to the end of the table.”

08/01/22 20:16:55

Al Overy Vote score: 13483Al Overy

"Sorry I just blinded you in one eye with that elastic band, Bro... still, jelly and ice cream, eh?"

08/01/22 20:13:20

C CaMel Vote score: 8824C CaMel

“You allowed over the park later Johnny?”
‘Is it within 200m of a coin operated vending machine?’
“Nope.”
‘Then I’m allowed.’

08/01/22 21:04:10

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 18503Vanessa the Guesser

In Tudor times children were often stretched on the rack for minor things such as singing Greensleeves out of tune. Dave Tudor is pictured here with a young Anne Boleyn who had an extra Cadburys finger.

08/01/22 20:44:40

Dave Bryan Vote score: 22518Dave Bryan

''Why are you hiding under the table, Bro?''

''I've just seen the sprouts.''

08/01/22 20:44:30

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