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"I SPENT A BLOODY HOUR MAKING THAT, I TAKE A NAP AND NOW IT’S BOXED UP IN BITS!!!!!"
"I SPENT A BLOODY HOUR MAKING THAT, I TAKE A NAP AND NOW IT’S BOXED UP IN BITS!!!!!" photo | portfolio
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captions

Chris Keegan Vote score: 11163Chris Keegan

£50

"I SPENT A BLOODY HOUR MAKING THAT, I TAKE A NAP AND NOW IT’S BOXED UP IN BITS!!!!!"

27/10/21 11:06:41

 20
Hi all, many thanks for all your kind comments and votes, I'm in bits! I recently took some time off the site however the rehab clearly didn't work and it's great to be back transfixed to my phone in dark corridors with my fellow captionoholics... --Chris Keegan
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4278Scrijjy Doo

Incontinence Hotline? No, I CAN'T HOLD!

27/10/21 11:34:00

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17855Dave Bryan

''Is that Childline? The bastards have given me sprouts again.''

27/10/21 11:24:03

 
Tony S Vote score: 3050Tony S

"MUM the GP surgery has answered shall I tell them that they are 18 months late for the pregnancy test you asked for "

27/10/21 11:24:50

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17855Dave Bryan

''Have you ever had an accident that was not your fault?''

''Yes, once they tried to take my nappy off when I was in the middle of a crap.''

27/10/21 11:02:14

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 20173Stephen Bean

"What do you mean they're entitled to switch me to bottled milk?!"

27/10/21 11:50:50

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 6545Karyn Harrison

"For the seventeenth time, we don't want a f*cking Smart Meter!"

27/10/21 11:04:59

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4278Scrijjy Doo

AND DON'T FORGET THE SIPPY CUP, MOTHERF@#KER!

27/10/21 11:32:01

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12716Mr Dome

Mamas and hakas

27/10/21 11:04:55

 2
My Jnrs are girls, Crunchy, and netball players, so no hakas. As for me, I haven't done one for years. We still did the silly jump at the end back when I was doing them ;)  --James Lennox
Chris Keegan Vote score: 11163Chris Keegan

“LISTEN BITCH, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, YOU HAD BETTER GET ME ADOPTED…..NOW!

27/10/21 11:00:46

 
Ryan F Vote score: 205Ryan F

Kikiki! Kakaka!
Kauana kei waniwania taku tara
kei tarawahia, kei te rua i te kerokero!
He pounga rahui te uira
ka rarapa ketekete kau ana
To peru kairiri mau au e koro e!
Hi! Ha! - Ka wehi au ka matakana,
ko wai te tangata kia rere ure tirohanga
ngā rua rerarera
ngā rua kuri kakanui i raro! Aha ha!.

27/10/21 15:25:22

 
Al Overy Vote score: 8959Al Overy

"Is that Amazon? Listen, I'm halfway through your Yoga for Babies DVD and my back's gone into spasm... Try to stand, you say? Ok... AAAAAAGH!"

27/10/21 12:37:53

 
Tony S Vote score: 3050Tony S

When you forget you put superglue of the phone to wind uo your parents.

27/10/21 11:14:52

 
Al Overy Vote score: 8959Al Overy

"I've just seen you and Dad on Channel 4's 'Breastfeeding my boyfriend'... WTAF!!?"

27/10/21 11:01:57

 2
Milk Stout? --Karyn Harrison
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5780Lucky Elperro

"Hello Police, I was kidnapped yesterday and today the b****rds brought me back"

27/10/21 16:06:20

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5853Paul Reeve

“Don’t tell me to calm down, my f@cking happy meal should of been delivered over an hour ago.”

27/10/21 15:00:15

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1510alexandra ball

Nana, this is the very last time I'm explaining it ok!!!!!!

27/10/21 13:51:10

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 7128Greg Curtis

"Press 1 for SPANISH? I can barely speak ENGLISH."

27/10/21 12:19:32

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 25470Michael Winner

"I shit you not- I'm there, freezing and naked in this big cold room, and this weirdo in bizarre clothes grabs me and tries to drown me in this bath thing whilst my parents just stood there grinning and taking pictures."

27/10/21 11:49:48

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34755Tony Edwards

"If you dress him like a convict then he will behave like one!"

27/10/21 11:39:10

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4278Scrijjy Doo

SHOW ME THE MOMMY!

27/10/21 11:28:20

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 20173Stephen Bean

"I MIGHT SOUND YOUNG BUT I'M BENJAMIN BUTTON AND I'M 84 YEARS OLD!"

"NOW, ARE YOU GOING TO SEND CRYSTAL, VENUS AND CINNAMON HERE TONIGHT OR DO I HAVE TO TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE?"

27/10/21 11:13:01

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 20173Stephen Bean

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'I'LL BE LATE HOME, DINNER'S IN THE OVEN'?"

"DINNER'S IN YOU!!!"

27/10/21 11:00:09

 
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