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"Yes, you heard right. My kingdom for some toilet paper."  (Nod to 8:45:35)
"Yes, you heard right. My kingdom for some toilet paper."  (Nod to 8:45:35) photo | portfolio
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"Yes, you heard right. My kingdom for some toilet paper."

(Nod to 8:45:35)

Sun 9:08:35

 2
Well, at least he's got a stool. (Nod to 9:01:23) --Willie Johnson

"Darling, I'm sorry I was out all night playing cards. Will you please just unlock the palace and let me in?"

Sun 8:01:48

 

Yes. Be back in five just on my mobile throne having a poo

Sun 8:03:48

 

"It looks like an elbow, it could be the tip of a nose, one can't be sure."

Sun 11:05:07

 

Royal flush.

Sun 9:43:59

 

''Have you got a direct line, Your Highness?''

''Yes, I can trace my ancestors right back to King Harold.''

Sun 9:31:44

 

"So where can I find the baby Jesus again?.......Yes I know I should have just followed the star like the other 2 wise men instead of using the Sat Nav on my phone."

Sun 8:18:58

 

''Good morning, I'm phoning to tell you that we can replace your old boiler free of charge.''

''That's excellent news. I've been wanting to get rid of Camilla for ages.''

Sun 8:54:50

 

I'll be slightly delayed as Madonna has just arrived

Sun 8:06:24

 

"No I can't wipe my own arse!
Am King Midas, remember!"

Sun 9:49:31

 

When he found out the other two were running late he was frankincensed.
Nod to 8:18:58

Sun 9:17:51

 

"Can I place a bet, please? A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse."

Sun 8:45:35

 

Crowning Glory

Sun 8:00:15

 

The king's speech.

new entry7:01:11

 

Charles is a lot shorter in person.

new entrySun 20:37:45

 

The support of kings

new entrySun 17:59:24

 

I was going to go to town dressed like this but I didn't have the carriage.

new entrySun 15:42:51

 

It's these new clothes you made me, people can see them.

new entrySun 15:39:04

 

"Hurry up, I'm about to declare this arse open."

new entrySun 12:45:28

 

Royal Court short

Sun 12:42:10

 

"Thank you for the plastic bottles but I need more than the Royal Wee."

Sun 12:41:48

 

Red face in the Morning, Serfs warning.

Sun 11:10:17

 

Karen hurry up and pick me up, the medieval event is tomorrow, I got the date wrong!

Sun 9:56:19

 

A scene from the musical, 'The King and Double-ply'.

Sun 9:46:18

 

"Look, I'm getting sick of this- this is the third phone you've sent out this week and they keep turning into gold."

Sun 9:41:20

 

Receding heir line.

Sun 9:39:43

 

Calling card.

Sun 9:34:00

 

THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE

''If I talk into this little box, people can hear me thousands of miles away.''

Sun 9:26:08

 

Hi I'm being held captive by a Spanish archer

Sun 9:06:54

 1
A golden archer by any chance? --Willie Johnson

He's sitting on a big stool.
(Nod to 8:11:12, 8:48:19 and any other shit captions)

Sun 9:01:23

 

“We need to get Deliveroo to help with these deliveries, I’ve already done 350 Whoppers and it’s only 11 O’ clock.”

Sun 9:00:02

 

Royal Albert Call

Sun 8:55:38

 

Richard The Turd

Sun 8:48:19

 1
He's a king maker. --Willie Johnson

"The old cow kicked me out for burning her poxy cakes."

Sun 8:44:23

 

Wee tree kings

Sun 8:40:51

 

"No fanfare trumpets, no red carpet, they haven't even delivered the throne yet, everything was so much better in the olden days."

Sun 8:39:25

 

"This is Harold, would you send me back to 1065, it was a lot safer then."

Sun 8:28:58

 1
This is Canute, everything's fine, no sign of water. --Molly R

“Can you send a taxi for king immediately.”

Sun 8:28:13

 1

To be sure, I'm on der King's Road but it looks like der udders are running late'

Sun 8:21:21

 

'What a hell of an evening that was, I'm going to seriously miss those summer knights'

Sun 8:20:14

 

A turd in the hand is worth two in the bush

Sun 8:13:13

 

And that's when the Sofa King finally went crazy.

Sun 8:11:12

 

"Hi. It's Henry IV. Yeah, I'd like the back issues of Penthouse and Mayfair delivered in plain wrapping please. Thanks."

"Got it, porn to King four."

Sun 8:00:50

 

The King and iPhone

Sun 8:00:09

 

Edred was researching his family tree.

Sun 8:00:08

 
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