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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 19571Vanessa the Guesser

"I wonder if I ought to drive, Stevie?"

23/08/21 20:01:05

Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 7154Scrijjy Doo


24/08/21 3:03:38

The Wolf Vote score: 17945The Wolf

Normally, working at a Shell garage was pretty boring and uneventful. But there was this one night when I saw a dog putting petrol in a car. I remember it because it was the same night Homer Simpson came in and told me about his penis enlargement operation and then he trapped it in a car door and had to buy a bandage.

23/08/21 21:10:35

Dave Bryan Vote score: 25581Dave Bryan

''What was the M1 like?''

''Nose to tail.''

23/08/21 20:04:10

Leroy Brown Vote score: 8096Leroy Brown

All the way to the top. Maybe that bastard won't make me walk anymore.

23/08/21 20:31:55

Troompa Loompa Vote score: 22453Troompa Loompa

"Does he have a license? No, dogs haven’t needed a license since they were abolished in 1987."

23/08/21 20:15:50

Dogs were abolished in 1987? --Willie Johnson
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 7190Crunchy Chords

"That's a smart dog you've got."
"He's an idiot. He just put petrol in my diesel engine."

23/08/21 20:00:49

Stu Dent Vote score: 5630Stu Dent

You think this is clever, I am driving a lorry for Tesco's in the morning.

23/08/21 22:37:12

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

Esso announce their new diesel/petrol hybrid is currently passing its lab tests.

23/08/21 22:11:14

Leroy Brown Vote score: 8096Leroy Brown

Short staff?

No, it's an average sized golden retriever.

23/08/21 20:37:04

Leroy Brown Vote score: 8096Leroy Brown

Hound of the Best-car-fills

23/08/21 20:29:37

Troompa Loompa Vote score: 22453Troompa Loompa

It's always good to have a cover story for when you're caught p*ssing on something.

23/08/21 20:24:13

Tony Edwards Vote score: 37066Tony Edwards

"Fill 'er pup."

23/08/21 20:03:06

Vivvy En Vote score: 11286Vivvy En

Lovin' the freedom, best thing ever this unleaded.

23/08/21 20:01:02

alexandra ball Vote score: 2137alexandra ball

These new tasks at Crufts are getting more advanced!

23/08/21 20:00:54

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 7190Crunchy Chords

Pet-rol station

23/08/21 20:00:07

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