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"Whats for tea?"  "Salad"
"Whats for tea?"  "Salad" photo | portfolio
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 18193Vanessa the Guesser

"What's for tea?"

"Salad"

29/09/21 8:04:56

"I thought your salad days were over." --Willie Johnson
Mark Wilson Vote score: 4677Mark Wilson

Is it just me or are these Pot Noodle sauce sachets getting harder to open?

29/09/21 8:06:57

It takes practise and patience. You can even do a degree at University involving the science of opening Pot Noodle sachets --Glyn Evans
Mr Dome  Vote score: 14235Mr Dome

- I thought you were cooking fish??
- I am. It's called Jackson Pollock

29/09/21 8:24:07

Stephen Bean Vote score: 24669Stephen Bean

"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR KITCHEN?!!!!!!!"

"Sorry darling, making petrol from sugar isn't as easy as I thought."

29/09/21 8:00:10

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

"Guys, you know that deposit that the landlord was due to pay us back tomorrow...?"

29/09/21 8:16:42

Dave Bryan Vote score: 21998Dave Bryan

''Is that a rat in the corner, darling?''

''No, they moved out last week.''

29/09/21 8:25:12

Stephen Bean Vote score: 24669Stephen Bean

"So what do you think of my cooking?"

"Well, the sausages were dynamite!"

29/09/21 8:15:44

The Wolf Vote score: 16170The Wolf

"Sorry babe. Jamie Oliver made it look so easy."

29/09/21 8:45:44

The Wolf Vote score: 16170The Wolf

"...and here's your 5 star food hygiene rating."

"Thanks very much inspector. Here's your fifty quid"

29/09/21 8:41:39

Stephen Bean Vote score: 24669Stephen Bean

The Blast Supper

29/09/21 8:20:58

Lucky Elperro Vote score: 6207Lucky Elperro

On this weeks episode of job swap. Boris Johnson and Gordon Ramsey.

29/09/21 10:58:21

Meanwhile in Downing Street, things are about the same, but with only slightly more swearing. :^) --Crunchy Chords
The Wolf Vote score: 16170The Wolf

*Ding dong*

"Who the hell can that be at 8am on a Sunday morning? Hope it's nobody we know because we haven't tidied up. I'll peek behind the curtains....DAVE...IT'S YOUR PARENTS"

29/09/21 8:34:01

The Wolf Vote score: 16170The Wolf

When you're doing your initial online job interview for head chef and then your Zoom background fails.

29/09/21 8:25:40

Al Overy Vote score: 13178Al Overy

Flying pan

29/09/21 8:01:12

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 17467Dan Nicholls

Aga lout

29/09/21 9:58:22

The Wolf Vote score: 16170The Wolf

"Excuse me sir, you can't come in here. Can't you see it says 'Staff Only'? Please wait in the clean front area of the shop and we'll bring your Chinese takeaway out when it's ready."

29/09/21 8:18:23

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 13387Neil Mackenzie

The Wife’s cooking is so bad even the pans can suffer from explosive diarrhea.

29/09/21 8:13:46

Stephen Bean Vote score: 24669Stephen Bean

"Oh look darling, you forgot to light the gas. Let me hel..."

29/09/21 8:10:37

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