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"Whats for tea?"  "Salad"
"Whats for tea?"  "Salad" photo | portfolio
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 16137Vanessa the Guesser

"What's for tea?"

"Salad"

29/09/21 8:04:56

 1
"I thought your salad days were over." --Willie Johnson
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3780Mark Wilson

Is it just me or are these Pot Noodle sauce sachets getting harder to open?

29/09/21 8:06:57

 1
It takes practise and patience. You can even do a degree at University involving the science of opening Pot Noodle sachets --Glyn Evans
Mr Dome  Vote score: 12521Mr Dome

- I thought you were cooking fish??
- I am. It's called Jackson Pollock

29/09/21 8:24:07

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19334Stephen Bean

"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR KITCHEN?!!!!!!!"

"Sorry darling, making petrol from sugar isn't as easy as I thought."

29/09/21 8:00:10

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 25326Michael Winner

"Guys, you know that deposit that the landlord was due to pay us back tomorrow...?"

29/09/21 8:16:42

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17217Dave Bryan

''Is that a rat in the corner, darling?''

''No, they moved out last week.''

29/09/21 8:25:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19334Stephen Bean

"So what do you think of my cooking?"

"Well, the sausages were dynamite!"

29/09/21 8:15:44

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13639The Wolf

"Sorry babe. Jamie Oliver made it look so easy."

29/09/21 8:45:44

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13639The Wolf

"...and here's your 5 star food hygiene rating."

"Thanks very much inspector. Here's your fifty quid"

29/09/21 8:41:39

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19334Stephen Bean

The Blast Supper

29/09/21 8:20:58

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5698Lucky Elperro

On this weeks episode of job swap. Boris Johnson and Gordon Ramsey.

29/09/21 10:58:21

 1
Meanwhile in Downing Street, things are about the same, but with only slightly more swearing. :^) --Crunchy Chords
The Wolf Vote score: 13639The Wolf

*Ding dong*

"Who the hell can that be at 8am on a Sunday morning? Hope it's nobody we know because we haven't tidied up. I'll peek behind the curtains....DAVE...IT'S YOUR PARENTS"

29/09/21 8:34:01

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13639The Wolf

When you're doing your initial online job interview for head chef and then your Zoom background fails.

29/09/21 8:25:40

 
Al Overy Vote score: 8220Al Overy

Flying pan

29/09/21 8:01:12

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 16242Dan Nicholls

Aga lout

29/09/21 9:58:22

 
The Wolf Vote score: 13639The Wolf

"Excuse me sir, you can't come in here. Can't you see it says 'Staff Only'? Please wait in the clean front area of the shop and we'll bring your Chinese takeaway out when it's ready."

29/09/21 8:18:23

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 12244Neil Mackenzie

The Wife’s cooking is so bad even the pans can suffer from explosive diarrhea.

29/09/21 8:13:46

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19334Stephen Bean

"Oh look darling, you forgot to light the gas. Let me hel..."

29/09/21 8:10:37

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6094Tosser Wivlov

Well I think it's probably cooked now.

29/09/21 11:16:46

 
Al Overy Vote score: 8220Al Overy

Pie in the sky.

29/09/21 10:13:30

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 16242Dan Nicholls

"I said, see if you can make the jelly ignite"...

29/09/21 9:59:30

 
Steve Wright Vote score: 1854Steve Wright

"Is that a UFO?"

"It's a frying saucer"

29/09/21 9:35:15

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17217Dave Bryan

FLOYD ON FRANCE

''We are going to cook this week's meal in a typical, rural French kitchen. Now I know you're all thinking 'the dirty French bastards' but after two bottles of red wine.........''

29/09/21 9:03:25

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 19334Stephen Bean

"Where did you get those bangers from?"

29/09/21 8:29:42

 
James Lennox Vote score: 9458James Lennox

"Welcome home, luv, dinner's above the stove."

29/09/21 8:23:36

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3780Mark Wilson

"Come on love you've been slaving over that hot stove all day, so just put the knife down, release the hostage and come and watch Eastenders"

29/09/21 8:18:41

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2967GeeDee

Kid's, never toss pancakes with the lid on

29/09/21 8:16:36

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8760Hercules Rockefeller

"Holy crap, just where in the hell did you get those lobsters from anyway?"

29/09/21 8:09:09

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17217Dave Bryan

''Rik, why have you thrown my pan lid into the ceiling?''

''Because I can't stand your cooking, Neil.''

29/09/21 8:02:39

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8760Hercules Rockefeller

"Curses! Boiled again!"

29/09/21 8:01:25

 
Al Overy Vote score: 8220Al Overy

High tea

29/09/21 8:00:53

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 26231Ian Skelding

"I told you not to cover the Vindaloo."

29/09/21 8:00:12

 
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