"Mum, isn't that guy with the cane who keeps bumping into things your boss?"

"Quiet son, I called in sick today."

16/07/21 20:35:12

"Don't worry son, if you fall off you won't get hurt. To protect you they've put down loads of little bits of wood. What are they called again? You know, chippings from the trunk of a tree? You can buy big bags of it from B & Q. For the life of me I can't remember what it's called..."

16/07/21 20:52:01

Meanwhile in the parallel universe..."Eugh, look at that dog picking that man's shit up. Honestly why would you bother having one. Gross"

16/07/21 20:08:16

''This used to be a really good play area but recently it's gone to the dogs.''

16/07/21 20:05:14

"What's that long red thing mum."
"It's just your dad getting excited again."

16/07/21 20:21:55

Undercover sniffer puppy meets his first pusher.

16/07/21 20:08:10

"Just look at your father over there. He's so embarrassing, sniffing around that bitch again."

16/07/21 20:04:11

These dog parks are getting more advanced than just walking round a field.

16/07/21 20:03:25

"I never originally wanted a dog, so this was the nearest I could get to having a pet kangaroo"

16/07/21 20:03:11

The military, being set in their ways, refused to accept the change and the dogapult never caught on.

16/07/21 21:05:39

"Can I go on the houndabout next?"

16/07/21 20:26:24

"Tom, that's not what you do with their leads and harness."

16/07/21 20:25:09

"Why are you looking at us so strangely darling? You haven't taken another one of those funny blue pills you bought off Derek for a fiver have you?"

16/07/21 20:01:39

"I think you'll be more impressed by the roundabout. My mate Dougal runs it."

16/07/21 20:00:28

Stabbing a puppy's tail from the crossbar of some park swings is a new low. Even for a Terminator T-1000.

16/07/21 20:00:21

"Okay there's the fire engine, they'll soon have you out of there"

17/07/21 10:09:45

No dogging in the park.

16/07/21 23:28:19

“It’s the only way I can stop him from pinching the toilet roll.”

16/07/21 22:45:04

Golden Oscillators

16/07/21 22:21:29

Sorry, bitch, I don't swing that way.

16/07/21 22:20:26

"When you are older I will take you on a shoot".

16/07/21 22:05:51

When we get home mum can I slide my arse over the carpet?

16/07/21 22:04:32

Labradorable

16/07/21 20:49:09

"Look at that filthy, disgusting cat, son. We have humans to clean up after us. We would NEVER do that in the sandpit."

16/07/21 20:43:44

The Hound of the Basket thrills

16/07/21 20:30:27

Push pup

16/07/21 20:00:28

Swinger Spaniel

16/07/21 20:00:16

"Ok son, which do you prefer, swinging or dogging?"

16/07/21 20:00:10