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Troompa Loompa Vote score: 22453Troompa Loompa

"Don't s'pose you could pass me that gun beside you?"

18/04/21 19:11:21

James Lennox Vote score: 16308James Lennox

"No, sorry, I'm Buddhist, I think you'll find Christians in the next tent."

18/04/21 19:20:46

James Lennox Vote score: 16308James Lennox

When you put it that way, no, I have no problem with cat pictures on

18/04/21 19:27:11

Ron  Allan Vote score: 5548Ron Allan

Lion.."Bloody keepers get lazier every day. Now they're not even bothering to take our meals out of the Oven-Bags".

18/04/21 20:38:21

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29726Dave Bryan

''Hello, Mr Lion. In the morning I posted 'Superglue is always funny'. At lunchtime I followed this with 'How will I recognise you'. Finally, at 8.00pm, I typed 'Scribbling rivalry'.''

''I'd eat this tosser but he'd keep repeating on me.''

18/04/21 19:41:19

I think I might have been the one responsible for starting those first two. After all these years, I'm still not apologising. --Michael Winner
The Wolf Vote score: 21453The Wolf

"What the hell do you think you're doing in my litter tray?"

18/04/21 19:39:46

Tony S Vote score: 8204Tony S

Luckily being read passages from a Katie Price Autobiography sent him to sleep quicker than the tranquilliser dart

18/04/21 19:29:50

Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 9763Scrijjy Doo

Blood-soaked Rifle for Sale, never fired.

18/04/21 19:20:12

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

*whisper* "Lost tourists are the chicken McNuggets of the Serengeti."

18/04/21 20:16:49

Greg Curtis Vote score: 8889Greg Curtis

"Hunting me ALONE? Have you no pride?..."

18/04/21 23:31:27

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29726Dave Bryan

''What's the magazine?''

''Reader's Digest.''

''That's a coincidence, I digest readers.''

18/04/21 19:23:02

Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 9763Scrijjy Doo

"I picked the wrong day for tuna cologne."

18/04/21 19:20:51

Mark Wilson Vote score: 5135Mark Wilson

Libraries have got tougher on overdue book fines, so I'm here to collect or else

18/04/21 22:32:39

Vivvy En Vote score: 13051Vivvy En

"Does your book tell you what I'm having for dinner?"

18/04/21 19:26:26

Tony Edwards Vote score: 38485Tony Edwards

"Doctor Livingstone, I presume?"

18/04/21 19:12:56

"Doctor Dyingsoon I presume?" --Troompa Loompa
The Wolf Vote score: 21453The Wolf

"Erm, ok. On a positive note, I no longer need to find the toilet block"

18/04/21 19:09:04

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