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"I can see his privet parts."
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stone face Vote score: 9108stone face

"I can see his privet parts."

24/03/21 8:10:29

 1
And smell them too when the wind is right. --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean Vote score: 15598Stephen Bean

Buttanical garden

24/03/21 8:32:59

 
Mark England Vote score: 17962Mark England

"I was trying to do a rabbit but I've made a right arse of it"

24/03/21 8:36:28

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14013Dave Bryan

''I can see something in there.''

''Blackbird?''

''Looks more like thrush.''

24/03/21 8:22:42

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14013Dave Bryan

I have no objections to people having sex with bushes as long as they do it in privet.

24/03/21 8:01:41

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

Laurel & Hard-on

24/03/21 9:05:57

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14013Dave Bryan

''If you think this is rude, just wait for autumn.''

24/03/21 9:01:45

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5410Kenny Ireland

Living next door to malice.

24/03/21 11:28:08

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5410Kenny Ireland

"I should never have sacked Edward Scissorhands".

24/03/21 9:31:24

 
The Wolf Vote score: 11777The Wolf

When you haven't had a good shag for a while, you'll try anything. Like this lady here who covered herself in sun lotion and rolled around in freshly cut grass.

24/03/21 8:28:10

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7032C CaMel

Topiary Inappropriate

24/03/21 8:04:36

 
Al Overy Vote score: 4775Al Overy

The neighbours had never been close but now the cracks were starting to grow.

24/03/21 8:00:34

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7032C CaMel

"I'm not sure Geoff likes our tribute to his late Wife."

24/03/21 14:21:25

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23987Michael Winner

Oggle Box.

24/03/21 13:48:26

 2
Oggle box ... maybe --John Glover
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3448Scrijjy Doo

F Yew

24/03/21 13:38:19

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1103alexandra ball

Nice bush

24/03/21 9:41:47

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5410Kenny Ireland

The bottom of the garden.

24/03/21 9:22:19

 
Mark England Vote score: 17962Mark England

Harold tried not to get upset, but when the neighbours also shaped their conifer into a giant middle finger, he thought it best to move

24/03/21 8:45:21

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7932Hercules Rockefeller

Glandscaping

24/03/21 8:32:59

 
Tony S Vote score: 1400Tony S

Is he out there howling at the full moon again

24/03/21 8:15:21

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24475Ian Skelding

Nethergreen

24/03/21 8:10:03

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14729Vanessa the Guesser

"Looks a bit dry."

24/03/21 8:06:19

 
Tony S Vote score: 1400Tony S

Hey Mavis have you seen the prize next door got for winning a leap frog competition.

24/03/21 8:05:07

 
Al Overy Vote score: 4775Al Overy

Dennis failed to see the fanny side.

24/03/21 8:01:10

 
Lady Scotland Lady Scotland

Bill had just returned to his own side of the fence,after an unsuccessful attempt to mount what he thought was his wife in a green dress. She could be a bit unresponsive,but she hadnt even shaved. Should have gone to Specsavers,dear...

27/03/21 16:19:18

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 456Gavin Smithers

Is this supposed to be Norman Greenbaum?

25/03/21 0:29:48

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 456Gavin Smithers

Dicky Bird adjudicates; out handling the ball?

25/03/21 0:23:08

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11707Neil Mackenzie

His neighbour was going to boycott Dave’s gardening service till Dave came back with the willow cricket bat to finish off his Geoffrey tribute.

24/03/21 21:42:15

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21440John Glover

"How do you fancy trying for a bush baby?"

24/03/21 14:41:15

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23987Michael Winner

"It's not the offensive look of the sculpture in itself officer, it's the ping-pong balls."

24/03/21 13:47:10

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23987Michael Winner

Gropiary.

24/03/21 13:45:28

 
SnapDragon D Vote score: 153SnapDragon D

gonna need a higher fence

24/03/21 12:30:37

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6541Greg Curtis

"Timmy stood for a long time: 'How bad do I want my ball back?...'"

24/03/21 11:42:04

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11448Mr Dome

Dave couldn't wait to picket

24/03/21 11:05:17

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2788Mark Wilson

"I'm telling you if you stand here long enough a ping pong ball flies out of the bush area"

24/03/21 10:38:34

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2788Mark Wilson

"I told you to just give their ball back"

24/03/21 10:33:36

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6541Greg Curtis

“A bottom looking for a topiary.”

24/03/21 10:24:49

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33732Tony Edwards

Neighbourhood crotch

24/03/21 10:04:03

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7432Vivvy En

"Your bush could do with a trim, Mrs Chatterley."

24/03/21 9:23:33

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5410Kenny Ireland

Hollyrude.

24/03/21 9:21:52

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2534Willie Johnson

Uranus is closer than I thought. I didn't know it was green. What have you been eating?

24/03/21 9:18:08

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7432Vivvy En

'Needs pinching,' thought Alan.

24/03/21 9:06:36

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5188Lucky Elperro

George didn't mind being a traitor and dropping off military secrets, but was beginning to suspect MI5 were on to him.

24/03/21 8:53:42

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20294Troompa Loompa

Dave used the latest cutting hedge technology.

24/03/21 8:50:21

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5188Lucky Elperro

Cue gardens

24/03/21 8:48:54

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7032C CaMel

As Dave waited for his train he wondered if Network Rail were making the best use of taxpayer's money.

24/03/21 8:47:47

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5188Lucky Elperro

"Park your bike Sir?"

24/03/21 8:46:56

 
The Wolf Vote score: 11777The Wolf

Our neighbour certainly didn't like our novelty Bush. But I think it was installing the fart machine that offended him the most.

24/03/21 8:43:48

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 15598Stephen Bean

"He'll be even more pissed off when my ass-paragus starts to grow."

24/03/21 8:43:31

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20294Troompa Loompa

Bend son & Hedges

24/03/21 8:41:50

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2534Willie Johnson

"You could have told me you didn't want to play football any more, instead of putting up a fence and covering yourself in leaves. Where did you put the football anyway?"..."No, I'm not going in there to get it."

24/03/21 8:41:01

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20294Troompa Loompa

Whoreticulture

24/03/21 8:40:48

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20294Troompa Loompa

Raising money for a Hedge Fund.

24/03/21 8:36:10

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2534Willie Johnson

After the neighbors put up the cross old man with hands on hips statue, they got creative with the shrubbery.

24/03/21 8:26:16

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7796Glyn Evans

"You'd better not dig a deep hole like that in my garden, you damn poodle"

24/03/21 8:19:15

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24475Ian Skelding

Irish Topiarist's Harp didn't quite work out the way he'd hoped.

24/03/21 8:19:11

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14013Dave Bryan

''And now over to Mounty Don for Gardeners' Sexual Fantasy World.''

24/03/21 8:16:28

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8061James Lennox

The arse is always greener on the other side of the fence.

24/03/21 8:09:14

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7932Hercules Rockefeller

Over the topiary

24/03/21 8:01:24

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14729Vanessa the Guesser

Just asking for the bird.

24/03/21 8:00:59

 
Al Overy Vote score: 4775Al Overy

Arse & Crafts

24/03/21 8:00:07

 
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