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This little piggy stayed home. And this little piggy stayed home.  And this little piggy stayed home. And this little piggy stayed home. And this little piggy went wee wee wee but still stayed home.
This little piggy stayed home. And this little piggy stayed home.  And this little piggy stayed home. And this little piggy stayed home. And this little piggy went wee wee wee but still stayed home. photo | portfolio
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Stu Dent Vote score: 5169Stu Dent

This little piggy stayed home.
And this little piggy stayed home.
And this little piggy stayed home.
And this little piggy stayed home.
And this little piggy went wee wee wee but still stayed home.

Tue 20:01:30

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7554Glyn Evans

"Best out of five? - You're not very good at this arm wrestling, Doc"

Tue 20:00:32

 
Tony S Vote score: 756Tony S

Yes Mrs Smith after a detailed examination he seems fine but what would I know I'm a butcher.

Tue 20:05:42

 7
I can vouch for Cap Author here. 20:00:13 was originally a joke centred around paedophilia, hence Mr. Dome's comment. It was edited later, so maybe the nod should be the other way around? - [PS, I liked this but didn't vote because I'm a pedant... --James Lennox
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3383Stephen Paterson

"Touch it again and I'll break your fucking thumb!"

Tue 20:59:36

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14309Vanessa the Guesser

And the winner of "Who has got the fewest teeth?" is...

Tue 20:00:48

 2
Most Likely to Breast Feed --Scrijjy Doo
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33441Tony Edwards

"Welcome to the Masons."

Tue 21:08:19

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11100Mr Dome

Poor orphan boy I'll be looking after you for a while. I'm Doctor Foster

Tue 20:04:40

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 13238Dave Bryan

''Take two paracetamol and piss off.''

Tue 20:22:18

 
Mark England Vote score: 17738Mark England

"It's ok son. You're male. We've all got one"

Tue 20:06:42

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7649Hercules Rockefeller

"Hey, doc, would you mind putting your mask back on?"

Tue 20:05:20

 
Al Overy Vote score: 3797Al Overy

"I've got reflux, constipation and a nasty little rash, Doc."

"I'm sorry to hear that young man, but this is the butcher's."

Tue 20:00:13

 1
That's a bit of an admission --Mr Dome
Stephen Bean Vote score: 14741Stephen Bean

"While you're pissing about checking my pulse can I have a newspaper to read?"

Tue 20:00:09

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5037Lucky Elperro

"Doc, I can't stop pissing my pants when I don't want to"

"Me too".

Tue 23:18:39

 
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 510Fozzgog B.

"Well done Doc - that's my arse and that's my elbow. I knew you'd get there eventually"

Tue 21:53:49

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21306John Glover

"One day Jimmy you'll be famous ... nurse, tell Mrs Savile I have finished her son's examination."

Tue 21:52:51

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10876The Wolf

"Excuse me, what the hell do you think you're doing? Put my son's pants back on and examine my dog. You Vets charge a fortune"

Tue 20:51:24

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10876The Wolf

"Dave, that Doctor is incompetent and I'm never taking our child there again. He said 'Your daughter is fine'..."

Tue 20:46:57

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1000alexandra ball

Most kids are scared of me.
You're not that ugly and repulsive.
I actually meant the white coat.

Tue 20:20:43

 
Mark England Vote score: 17738Mark England

"It's working. Those stupid captioneers haven't realised yet. My evil plan to replace cats with toddlers...Hahahaha"

Tue 20:04:58

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11518Neil Mackenzie

Doctor:- Laughter is the best medicine
A young John McEnroe:- You cannot be serious!

Wed 8:42:08

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2458Mark Wilson

"Your BMI is high and without immediate action will lead to obesity-related medical problem like diabetes or heart disease"

Tue 23:40:18

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2458Mark Wilson

"There's no easy way of saying this, me and your Mum are splitting up and it's all your fault. Since she give birth to you the sex is like throwing a sausage down a tunnel"

Tue 23:29:15

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5037Lucky Elperro

Show me your men's Tena pants and I'll show you my Pampers.

Tue 23:16:36

 
Peter Houle Vote score: 287Peter Houle

Doctor Where

Tue 21:40:36

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33441Tony Edwards

Doctor Frankenstein's monster fools everyone by disguising the bolt through his neck.

Tue 20:57:19

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10876The Wolf

"If you think you're in pain now you little git, then check this out. THIS is called a Chinese burn..."

Tue 20:57:18

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 19490Troompa Loompa

"That pile of dingo shit I left in your place should throw the cops off the scent."

Tue 20:56:33

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2359Willie Johnson

"Watch how I can whistle and talk at the same time."
"Watch how I can poop and throw up at the same time."
"WE'RE THROUGH HERE, YOU CAN COME GET YOUR BABY NOW."
"You really can talk and whistle at the same time."
"I wish I didn't have to inhale just then."

Tue 20:33:46

 
James Lennox Vote score: 7655James Lennox

"Excellent attempt, but remember, it's 'paed-I-A-TRI-CIAN' not 'paed-O-PHILE', try again..."

Tue 20:26:13

 2
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24045Ian Skelding

"We'll just tell your Mum one of your friends drew three tadpoles with a black marker pen Damien."

Tue 20:25:42

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3258Scrijjy Doo

Research on white mice can only get you so far.

Tue 20:23:25

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 369Mauris Iocus

"Yeah, they checked me during prenatal, you need a nip round to predental."

Tue 20:17:35

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 14741Stephen Bean

Titch doctor

Tue 20:14:02

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14309Vanessa the Guesser

Dave remembered when the ladies used to refer to him as 'the baby's arm'.

Tue 20:10:27

 
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