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Having flown around for years trying to find the correct birth address, the stork finally gave up.
17/02/21 13:30:46
"Welcome to Ryan Air. Smoking in the toilets will NOT be tolerated..."
17/02/21 12:01:25
Dave was beginning to regret going on the trampoline with Gemma Collins.
17/02/21 12:22:41
"Bloody typical. When they want to abduct you, it's nice and gentle, slowly raising you through a green beam and onto their Spacecraft. But as soon as they've finished their experiments on you, it's straight through the trap door and off you pop without so much as a goodbye. Thanks a bunch you oval headed bastards"
17/02/21 12:10:35
Dave took a while to realise the gravity of the situation.
17/02/21 12:00:08
Tightrope walker realises it's not called Niagara Falls for nothing.
17/02/21 12:13:35
"Typical, the day I get abducted by Aliens is the day I chose to wear a checked shirt."
17/02/21 12:08:21
The Descent of Man
17/02/21 12:02:00
If at first you don't succeed - maybe learning the trapeze is not for you.
17/02/21 21:13:20
Maybe ejector seats on wheelchairs isn't such a good idea.
17/02/21 14:16:07
I had to punch it in the face a few times, but the Seagull let me go eventually.
17/02/21 12:05:09
"I don't know what happened. One minute I was riding my bike...."
17/02/21 12:02:17
♪ It's Raining Men ♪
17/02/21 12:00:09
Car-jacking Chitty Chitty Bang Bang had turned out to be a very bad decision.
17/02/21 21:33:05
Damn it I've lost my bike.
17/02/21 15:35:00
Trump Towers eviction policy is not to be trifled with.
17/02/21 13:55:08
Canadian high jump Olympic champion banned after performance enhancing drugs found in his system.
17/02/21 12:05:33
It literally took a moment for Dave's mates to move the trampoline.
17/02/21 12:04:00
Well that's a first, the instructor too scared to jump on a tandem skydive
17/02/21 19:30:35
Riding the wall of death, Dave realised first where’s the wall gone, then he realised where’s my bike gone.
17/02/21 19:08:47
For sale. BMX bike (caution. Front brake sometimes locks on).
17/02/21 14:08:08
"...and stay out!"
17/02/21 13:09:43
Some people will go to extreme lengths to avoid eating the in flight Chicken Kiev and Potatoes.
17/02/21 12:42:25
Dave's final words were, "That's the last time I get beaten by a recycled caption."
17/02/21 12:25:13
"Dude, where's my car?"
17/02/21 12:05:06
When attempting to do a double backwards flip on your motorbike, remember your motorbike.
17/02/21 12:02:39
Jonny Bairstow demonstrates England's rotation policy.
18/02/21 19:11:44
Remember, when the airplane takes off, be sure that you don't get caught in its wake.
18/02/21 3:36:31
Buying an electric motorcycle was one thing, but remembering to unplug the bloody thing before leaving the garage was another
18/02/21 1:33:35
As he plummeted to a certain death, Dave recalled his childhood watching Tiswas and thus simply couldn't resist doing the Dying Fly one last time
18/02/21 1:31:32
The rapture found Gary sleeping on his couch.To this day he remembers none of it.
18/02/21 1:18:12
Dave was finding the line dancing class difficult
17/02/21 21:26:56
Chapters 4-6 (condensed)Gerry predicted that this would happen when he left the keys in the ignition of his unattended cherry picker. Especially working in an area where cherry picking was a way of life. There were cherries for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. The reality however was there were no cherries, there had never been any cherries and neither would there be any cherries because all this time they had been eating raspberries. As cherry pickers though they chose to believe that these cherries were of course cherries because they were cherry pickers and they couldn't have been picking anything else, but then what do you expect from cherry pickers?
17/02/21 20:12:28
Trevver the Revver came a cropper on his Chopper.
17/02/21 20:01:43
Never pick a fight with Geoff Capes!
17/02/21 19:52:45
This is why you should always read the warning on the label.
17/02/21 15:53:18
The Flying Dai
17/02/21 15:06:58
Free falling.
17/02/21 14:37:50
Skyline-dancing
17/02/21 14:20:37
"The bloody snowman has melted".
17/02/21 14:03:07
Thankfully Mrs Gulliver's pubic hair cushioned his fall
17/02/21 13:32:06
'Flipping hipsters.'
17/02/21 13:25:54
Hipst-carus falling
17/02/21 12:59:33
The Man Who Fell to Earth
17/02/21 12:54:56
''Any chance of a hot cup of tea, luv?''''No, I'm fed up with being pestered by cold fallers.''
17/02/21 12:27:28
A Caption.me floating voter
17/02/21 12:27:24
Poor Dave's checked out and gone to heaven.
17/02/21 12:20:52
World Air Guitar Champion playing Stairway to Heaven
17/02/21 12:17:04
Para-bollocks!
17/02/21 12:13:12
♪ He was the lineman for the county♪
17/02/21 12:11:16
An air hang glider
17/02/21 12:09:33
Cloud surfing
17/02/21 12:07:29
Shoot, I forgot my...
17/02/21 12:05:40
"This smoke's getting me high."
17/02/21 12:03:20
''Don't take any notice of my husband. He's always got his head in the clouds.''
17/02/21 12:00:42
"This is the last time I stay in an Air bnb."
17/02/21 12:00:29
Lumberjacks: Always check for high voltage cabling before engaging your chainsaw.
17/02/21 12:00:17
Get a baLOON!
17/02/21 12:00:14