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Having flown around for years trying to find the correct birth address, the stork finally gave up.
Having flown around for years trying to find the correct birth address, the stork finally gave up. photo | portfolio
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John  Glover Vote score: 21525John Glover

Having flown around for years trying to find the correct birth address, the stork finally gave up.

17/02/21 13:30:46

 1
To be fair, he was never quite the same after that elephant .. --Mauris Iocus
The Wolf Vote score: 12313The Wolf

"Welcome to Ryan Air. Smoking in the toilets will NOT be tolerated..."

17/02/21 12:01:25

 2
I misread this and saw 'stroking'. Any guidance on that? --Al Overy
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20731Troompa Loompa

Dave was beginning to regret going on the trampoline with Gemma Collins.

17/02/21 12:22:41

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12313The Wolf

"Bloody typical. When they want to abduct you, it's nice and gentle, slowly raising you through a green beam and onto their Spacecraft. But as soon as they've finished their experiments on you, it's straight through the trap door and off you pop without so much as a goodbye. Thanks a bunch you oval headed bastards"

17/02/21 12:10:35

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16097Stephen Bean

Dave took a while to realise the gravity of the situation.

17/02/21 12:00:08

 
Endeavour 2 Persevere Vote score: 123Endeavour 2 Persevere

Tightrope walker realises it's not called Niagara Falls for nothing.

17/02/21 12:13:35

 1
He's actually going UP... it's Viagra Falls. --Mauris Iocus
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24892Ian Skelding

"Typical, the day I get abducted by Aliens is the day I chose to wear a checked shirt."

17/02/21 12:08:21

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16097Stephen Bean

The Descent of Man

17/02/21 12:02:00

 
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 534Fozzgog B.

If at first you don't succeed - maybe learning the trapeze is not for you.

17/02/21 21:13:20

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3577Scrijjy Doo

Maybe ejector seats on wheelchairs isn't such a good idea.

17/02/21 14:16:07

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12313The Wolf

I had to punch it in the face a few times, but the Seagull let me go eventually.

17/02/21 12:05:09

 
Mark England Vote score: 18102Mark England

"I don't know what happened. One minute I was riding my bike...."

17/02/21 12:02:17

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14442Dave Bryan

♪ It's Raining Men ♪

17/02/21 12:00:09

 
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 534Fozzgog B.

Car-jacking Chitty Chitty Bang Bang had turned out to be a very bad decision.

17/02/21 21:33:05

 
Barrie Bullock Vote score: 697Barrie Bullock

Damn it I've lost my bike.

17/02/21 15:35:00

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 386Mauris Iocus

Trump Towers eviction policy is not to be trifled with.

17/02/21 13:55:08

 2
The immigration slogan; "If you overstay, it's the trebuchet" --Mauris Iocus
Tony S Vote score: 1881Tony S

Canadian high jump Olympic champion banned after performance enhancing drugs found in his system.

17/02/21 12:05:33

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10351Chris Keegan

It literally took a moment for Dave's mates to move the trampoline.

17/02/21 12:04:00

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3006Mark Wilson

Well that's a first, the instructor too scared to jump on a tandem skydive

17/02/21 19:30:35

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11844Neil Mackenzie

Riding the wall of death, Dave realised first where’s the wall gone, then he realised where’s my bike gone.

17/02/21 19:08:47

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5492Kenny Ireland

For sale. BMX bike (caution. Front brake sometimes locks on).

17/02/21 14:08:08

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24152Michael Winner

"...and stay out!"

17/02/21 13:09:43

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12313The Wolf

Some people will go to extreme lengths to avoid eating the in flight Chicken Kiev and Potatoes.

17/02/21 12:42:25

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8358James Lennox

Dave's final words were, "That's the last time I get beaten by a recycled caption."

17/02/21 12:25:13

 
Molly R Vote score: 2789Molly R

"Dude, where's my car?"

17/02/21 12:05:06

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8358James Lennox

When attempting to do a double backwards flip on your motorbike, remember your motorbike.

17/02/21 12:02:39

 
Ryan French Vote score: 50Ryan French

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
WALLOP.







05/03/21 21:36:39

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 507Gavin Smithers

Jonny Bairstow demonstrates England's rotation policy.

18/02/21 19:11:44

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2669Willie Johnson

Remember, when the airplane takes off, be sure that you don't get caught in its wake.

18/02/21 3:36:31

 
Ron  Allan Vote score: 5547Ron Allan

Buying an electric motorcycle was one thing, but remembering to unplug the bloody thing before leaving the garage was another

18/02/21 1:33:35

 
Ron  Allan Vote score: 5547Ron Allan

As he plummeted to a certain death, Dave recalled
his childhood watching Tiswas and thus simply couldn't resist doing the Dying Fly one last time

18/02/21 1:31:32

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 971Charles Gilbert

The rapture found Gary sleeping on his couch.

To this day he remembers none of it.

18/02/21 1:18:12

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3006Mark Wilson

Dave was finding the line dancing class difficult

17/02/21 21:26:56

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7933Glyn Evans

Chapters 4-6 (condensed)

Gerry predicted that this would happen when he left the keys in the ignition of his unattended cherry picker. Especially working in an area where cherry picking was a way of life. There were cherries for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. The reality however was there were no cherries, there had never been any cherries and neither would there be any cherries because all this time they had been eating raspberries. As cherry pickers though they chose to believe that these cherries were of course cherries because they were cherry pickers and they couldn't have been picking anything else, but then what do you expect from cherry pickers?

17/02/21 20:12:28

 1
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 901Ellen Duncalf

Trevver the Revver came a cropper on his Chopper.

17/02/21 20:01:43

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5786Karyn Harrison

Never pick a fight with Geoff Capes!

17/02/21 19:52:45

 1
If ever there was someone who needed a cape! --Mauris Iocus
Michael Winner Vote score: 24152Michael Winner

This is why you should always read the warning on the label.

17/02/21 15:53:18

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7503Vivvy En

The Flying Dai

17/02/21 15:06:58

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1195alexandra ball

Free falling.

17/02/21 14:37:50

 1
♫ ♫ --Mauris Iocus
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7933Glyn Evans

Skyline-dancing

17/02/21 14:20:37

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5492Kenny Ireland

"The bloody snowman has melted".

17/02/21 14:03:07

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11626Mr Dome

Thankfully Mrs Gulliver's pubic hair cushioned his fall

17/02/21 13:32:06

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5381Al Overy

'Flipping hipsters.'

17/02/21 13:25:54

 
Peter Houle Vote score: 292Peter Houle

Hipst-carus falling

17/02/21 12:59:33

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33919Tony Edwards

The Man Who Fell to Earth

17/02/21 12:54:56

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14442Dave Bryan

''Any chance of a hot cup of tea, luv?''

''No, I'm fed up with being pestered by cold fallers.''

17/02/21 12:27:28

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20731Troompa Loompa

A Caption.me floating voter

17/02/21 12:27:24

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14943Vanessa the Guesser

Poor Dave's checked out and gone to heaven.

17/02/21 12:20:52

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 386Mauris Iocus

World Air Guitar Champion playing Stairway to Heaven

17/02/21 12:17:04

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20731Troompa Loompa

Para-bollocks!

17/02/21 12:13:12

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10351Chris Keegan

♪ He was the lineman for the county♪

17/02/21 12:11:16

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24892Ian Skelding

An air hang glider

17/02/21 12:09:33

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33919Tony Edwards

Cloud surfing

17/02/21 12:07:29

 
Endeavour 2 Persevere Vote score: 123Endeavour 2 Persevere

Shoot, I forgot my...

17/02/21 12:05:40

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16097Stephen Bean

"This smoke's getting me high."

17/02/21 12:03:20

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14442Dave Bryan

''Don't take any notice of my husband. He's always got his head in the clouds.''

17/02/21 12:00:42

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16097Stephen Bean

"This is the last time I stay in an Air bnb."

17/02/21 12:00:29

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5381Al Overy

Lumberjacks: Always check for high voltage cabling before engaging your chainsaw.

17/02/21 12:00:17

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 386Mauris Iocus

Get a baLOON!

17/02/21 12:00:14

 
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