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Stephen Bean Vote score: 14630Stephen Bean

"Get a tomb!"

08/02/21 20:00:05

 24
Ok, my last addition and then I'm done. Not sure about you lot but I'm ready to put this to bed. I'm a firm believer in change what you can, and don't bother trying to change what you can't. I get all parts of the debate to be honest. Roughly... --The Wolf
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33414Tony Edwards

Who said romance is dead?

08/02/21 20:13:07

 1
umm... my wife --Mauris Iocus
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14259Vanessa the Guesser

Ribbed for his pleasure.

08/02/21 20:00:59

 
Al Overy Vote score: 3720Al Overy

"Have you been queuing long?"

08/02/21 20:00:09

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6850C CaMel

"Dave, when I said stop shagging anything with a pulse!?"

08/02/21 22:57:46

 
stone face Vote score: 8729stone face

So is this the girl you've been boning?

08/02/21 20:17:49

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 860Charles Gilbert

Me and my ghoul friend.

08/02/21 23:09:49

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6850C CaMel

Necromancer

08/02/21 20:31:45

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10304Chris Keegan

He loved her to death.

08/02/21 20:01:40

 
Al Overy Vote score: 3720Al Overy

Shortly after, he jumped her bones.

08/02/21 20:01:12

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10785The Wolf

I'm not going to lie, the sex is tricky and I can't really feel much, but it's worth it to have a woman that doesn't speak.

08/02/21 20:24:01

 1
Yes, no feedback means you can tell yourself that you're the best lay ever, then there's no stopping you from cruising those cemeteries!!! --Glyn Evans
James Lennox Vote score: 7588James Lennox

Skeletor was not happy when his daughter started dating Dave.

08/02/21 20:07:55

 2
Don't want to spoil it for you, but her date looks more interested in He-Man. --Mauris Iocus
Al Overy Vote score: 3720Al Overy

"We met at University College Hospital. I was studying medicine, she had a particularly nasty case of MRSA."

08/02/21 20:04:13

 1
Speaking of medicine, remember when I couldn't bend my neck like this? She's a miracle worker with chiropractics, best bone doctor in Essex.  --Mauris Iocus
Stephen Bean Vote score: 14630Stephen Bean

"She never fails to give me a boner."

08/02/21 20:00:27

 
Mark England Vote score: 17698Mark England

"These x- ray specs only cost me 50p in the junk shop, but only the left eye is working"

08/02/21 20:27:08

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 5150Stu Dent

Death becomes her

08/02/21 20:12:11

 1
Eventually, he becomes her. Looks like he's already begun transitioning. --Mauris Iocus
Stu Dent Vote score: 5150Stu Dent

Well you just don't expect to meet Mick Jagger while out shopping.

08/02/21 20:08:59

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7534Glyn Evans

She could do so much better

08/02/21 20:07:18

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 323Mauris Iocus

Paparazzi catch an illicit affair with Victoria Beckham.

08/02/21 20:00:27

 1
Never seen her so happy, has she put on weight? --Mauris Iocus
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33414Tony Edwards

Romancing the Stone Dead

08/02/21 20:21:32

 1
We're going back to my place for a little Grateful Bed. --Mauris Iocus
Endeavour 2 Persevere Vote score: 110Endeavour 2 Persevere

Rag 'n Bone man

08/02/21 20:16:41

 1
Ironically, still singing about Skin. --Mauris Iocus
The Wolf Vote score: 10785The Wolf

My Mum always said to me, "Sharon, if you carry on dressing up like a goth then no self respecting man will fancy you, and you'll end up having to settle for a fat bastard". She was right.

08/02/21 20:16:16

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14259Vanessa the Guesser

It was slim pickings on grab-a-granny night.

08/02/21 20:13:07

 
Tony S Vote score: 681Tony S

Online dating is fine but I cant wait to meet her in the flesh

08/02/21 20:00:42

 1
You might want to check the expiration date... --Mauris Iocus
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3376Stephen Paterson

No Cher, I do not believe in life after love.

10/02/21 17:50:57

 1
For the first time in decades, Cher's looking fantastic. Must have had some work done. --Mauris Iocus
Peter Houle Vote score: 268Peter Houle

Dave only dated older women. In fact, he was a real grave robber.

08/02/21 23:54:54

 
Peter Houle Vote score: 268Peter Houle

The Quip And The Dead

08/02/21 22:59:15

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11495Neil Mackenzie

She’s only just come out of the cupboard.

08/02/21 20:45:59

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3231Scrijjy Doo

When she said, "Over my dead body," I saw my window of opportunity.

08/02/21 20:35:14

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14259Vanessa the Guesser

It was a marriage made in heaven.

08/02/21 20:26:44

 1
Or just a little south thereof. --Mauris Iocus
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24010Ian Skelding

"She's fine, the Doc said she hasn't got Osteoporosis."

08/02/21 20:21:13

 
James Lennox Vote score: 7588James Lennox

Jason and his Fiancée - Taken before the bride's family and the Argonauts had that unfortunate altercation at the wedding.

08/02/21 20:11:30

 
Tony S Vote score: 681Tony S

Mr Rexia and his new wife Anna

08/02/21 20:03:26

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 13169Dave Bryan

''I didn't realise you were ill, Bob. How long have you been at death's door?''

08/02/21 20:02:40

 
Tony S Vote score: 681Tony S

Finding a girlfriend is always hard when you work the graveyard shift

08/02/21 20:01:36

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 323Mauris Iocus

A strolling Kate Moss gathers naught stone.

08/02/21 20:00:38

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 323Mauris Iocus

Boney Hem

08/02/21 20:00:13

 1
with beta Rags-Flute-Bin? --Mauris Iocus
tam betts tam betts

She forced herself to smile despite how embarrassed she was of his anorak.

11/02/21 22:34:31

 
Anne Baxter Vote score: 11Anne Baxter

Much as Dave loves his girlfriend he thinks she's over done the diet

09/02/21 16:43:44

 
Leeds Baggie Vote score: 30Leeds Baggie

Deep down, Dave knew he was being setup

09/02/21 16:11:45

 
Peter Houle Vote score: 268Peter Houle

Crypt creeper

08/02/21 23:04:55

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6850C CaMel

They come and go...

08/02/21 22:45:05

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11495Neil Mackenzie

Dave thinks she’s over Covid-19 because she’s stopped Coffin.

08/02/21 21:56:35

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21297John Glover

It was love at first fright.

08/02/21 21:27:03

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 19388Troompa Loompa

Perversely Jill had always claimed she wouldn't be seen dead with someone wearing a manbag.

08/02/21 21:23:10

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 19388Troompa Loompa

Jane always seems to click right away with a new bloke.

08/02/21 21:13:17

 1
Yeah, but then she tends to rattle on all night. --Mauris Iocus
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11082Mr Dome

There are no flies on him. Just as well as he can't even zip up his coat properly

08/02/21 21:07:09

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11082Mr Dome

She just needs a hearty meal

08/02/21 21:05:40

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24010Ian Skelding

♫ I left my heart in San Francisco.♫
"Where'd you leave the rest?"

08/02/21 21:04:49

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24010Ian Skelding

"It's gonna be OK, I was told there's an Organist at the Church, I'm sure he'll sort you out."

08/02/21 20:57:15

 1
You may be only interested in repo organs, but she might need a skin graft too. --Mauris Iocus
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2436Mark Wilson

Who said young love is... dead

08/02/21 20:37:04

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24010Ian Skelding

"This is Abby, she's a Skull teacher."

08/02/21 20:24:48

 
stone face Vote score: 8729stone face

Embarrasing photos of a teenage Posh Spice have emerged.

08/02/21 20:22:20

 1
Vivvy En Vote score: 7142Vivvy En

It was a sympathy date due to him having anoraksia

08/02/21 20:18:59

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10785The Wolf

"F-cking ell Dave. Don't you think it's time you upped her family allowance?"

08/02/21 20:13:07

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 990alexandra ball

Babe, you're taking the diet too far!

08/02/21 20:03:36

 
Dot Old Vote score: 1382Dot Old

Ant and Anna Rexia

08/02/21 20:00:52

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 13169Dave Bryan

''Two singles to the city centre, please.''

08/02/21 20:00:29

 
Al Overy Vote score: 3720Al Overy

"I've just always gone for older women!"

08/02/21 20:00:22

 
The Wolf Vote score: 10785The Wolf

Finding a woman that wasn't shocked and repulsed by the sight of a maggot was pretty hard, but I got there in the end.

08/02/21 20:00:15

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 14630Stephen Bean

When he came out of the closet Alan brought his skeleton with him.

08/02/21 20:00:13

 1
By the looks of him, that closet must have lots more in store.. --Mauris Iocus
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 657Ellen Duncalf

I don’t know what you find so humerus.

08/02/21 20:00:10

 1
Tibia honest, don't Sternum trouble, I'm very Femur with your type & Ulna dance around your Radius to knee you in the Sacrum & Coccyx --Mauris Iocus
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