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"You kids are going nowhere until Paul Vause turns up."
"You kids are going nowhere until Paul Vause turns up." photo | portfolio
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Molly R Vote score: 2508Molly R

"You kids are going nowhere until Paul Vause turns up."

13/02/21 22:01:53

Willie Johnson Vote score: 2358Willie Johnson

"Hey how about this. Let's forget about the game and talk politics instead."

13/02/21 23:11:54

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4463Crunchy Chords

"If we call it 'football', how come only one guy gets to kick it?"
"Same reason if we make a plan to violently invade the Capitol Building, only one guy gets away with it. This is America."

13/02/21 20:03:53

He hasn't gotten away with it yet. Stay tuned. --Willie Johnson
Tony S Vote score: 754Tony S

Ok lads when we did the coin toss who stole it, I want my quarterback

13/02/21 20:27:30

The Wolf Vote score: 10862The Wolf

"Now remember kids, when you get the ball, you DON'T shoot. That only happens in English football, we don't agree with shooting in America"

13/02/21 20:56:09

Ian Skelding Vote score: 24043Ian Skelding

"Today we're playing the Parasites."
"Oh no, we always lose against lawyers."

13/02/21 20:37:08

They always lose as a result of light headedness from the blood loss, but that's only if the lawyers catch them first, allegedly.  --Glyn Evans
Mark England Vote score: 17736Mark England

"So we believe, ref, that your green card has expired and you should be back home in Romania"

Illegal Alien vs Predators

13/02/21 20:06:17

The ref must have it bad listening to the "go home" team and the "go away" team. He should confiscate their ball but if he did, he'd probably get accused of taking their jobs although they're not getting paid to play.  --Glyn Evans
Al Overy Vote score: 3790Al Overy

"Ok, standard selection rules. Line up in order of who can eat the most Krispy Kremes. If there's a tie, you need to do the Truffle Shuffle."

13/02/21 21:04:34

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14308Vanessa the Guesser

Dave just had time to text his wife who was also on the game.

13/02/21 20:31:56

Al Overy Vote score: 3790Al Overy

Anon just had time to post some irrelevant pro-Trump material on a popular caption site before kickoff.

13/02/21 20:31:06

There are QAnon members on here? - Actually, scratch that otherwise it might start some silly conspiracy --Glyn Evans
James Lennox Vote score: 7650James Lennox

"Ok kids, professional football lasts 3 hours, but there's only 10 minutes of actual gameplay, so for the next 2 hours and 50 minutes we're going to practise standing around doing nothing ... Ready? Go!"

13/02/21 20:20:10

Tony S Vote score: 754Tony S

Never let the dads order the costumes for the high schools reenactment of The American Civil War

13/02/21 20:09:36

Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 677Ellen Duncalf

“You either wear the camp, effeminate luminous pink socks or you are off the team. You got this guys. Hut Hut.

13/02/21 20:06:29

Tony S Vote score: 754Tony S

In a bid to encourage kids to work harder in class the mini league made all players display their IQ on the back of their shirts.

13/02/21 20:04:09

Al Overy Vote score: 3790Al Overy

'Let us prey'

13/02/21 20:00:09

Endeavour 2 Persevere Vote score: 121Endeavour 2 Persevere

Hang on, I just remembered I have to check my Lottery ticket.

14/02/21 21:51:51

Leeds Baggie Vote score: 30Leeds Baggie

Todd out grew the rest of the other kids. So had to make do with being the referee and player 65 Jimmy, had been picking on him.

14/02/21 16:54:38

Endeavour 2 Persevere Vote score: 121Endeavour 2 Persevere

Stars and Stripes.

14/02/21 10:56:29

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11518Neil Mackenzie

Healthy eating is very important in Sports. So the coaching team and I don’t want to see any of you in Dunkin Doughnut’s. We’ll be there watching for you.

14/02/21 10:27:10

Endeavour 2 Persevere Vote score: 121Endeavour 2 Persevere

And here on the Serengeti, we see one Zebra foolishly trying to negotiate while the other slips quietly away.

14/02/21 9:48:22

Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3256Scrijjy Doo

"Reverse steroids, what were we thinking?"

14/02/21 2:06:54

Mauris Iocus Vote score: 368Mauris Iocus

“Yes Billy, they have different rules, but our guest coach will have plenty of tips on running & taking hits. He’s offered personal hands-on training with each of you, he’s come a long way, let’s all welcome Jimmy Savile.”

14/02/21 0:13:46

Mark Wilson Vote score: 2457Mark Wilson

It may be the land of the free, but you persist in wearing those pink socks and you forfeit the game

13/02/21 23:56:05

Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5037Lucky Elperro

"Now remember Leroy. When Frank says 'hut! hut!' that's not your cue to break into rap"

13/02/21 23:52:28

Mr Dome  Vote score: 11099Mr Dome

The Harvey Weinstein football academy

13/02/21 22:05:04

Peter Houle Vote score: 287Peter Houle

The Hobbit Bowl

13/02/21 20:58:27

Ian Skelding Vote score: 24043Ian Skelding

"There was a spelling mistake on your shirts, it was meant to be an 'e' not an 'o' so lay off the cheerleaders."

13/02/21 20:54:08

The Wolf Vote score: 10862The Wolf

"Coach? When the game starts can I take this flag out of my shirt?"

13/02/21 20:32:49

Charles Gilbert Vote score: 897Charles Gilbert

Aliens vs. _________

13/02/21 20:26:20

Glyn Evans Vote score: 7552Glyn Evans

"We pledge our allegiance to the flag..."

"Don't listen to it! It's obvious brainwashing guys...hold on, I've been subdued, now repeat it again and again and again, reinforcement is important, it shouldn't do you the littlest bit of harm..."

13/02/21 20:04:00

alexandra ball Vote score: 999alexandra ball

Pitch perfect.

13/02/21 20:02:28

The Wolf Vote score: 10862The Wolf

Typical Americans. Too busy being obsessed about sport to notice a giant yellow goblin hiding in the trees.

13/02/21 20:01:24

The Wolf Vote score: 10862The Wolf

"YEEEEESSSSS. I've just won on a scratch card so you can shove your job up your arse. F*cking sh*tty kids football team."

13/02/21 20:00:36

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11518Neil Mackenzie

The President is coming, and if he’s wearing shorts I don’t want any of you touching down the hair on his legs.

13/02/21 20:00:10

I definitely wouldn't be speaking German. I did German at school and I was rubbish. It's Valentine's day tomorrow guys. Spread the love. :) --The Wolf
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