"You kids are going nowhere until Paul Vause turns up."

13/02/21 22:01:53

"Hey how about this. Let's forget about the game and talk politics instead."

13/02/21 23:11:54

"If we call it 'football', how come only one guy gets to kick it?"
"Same reason if we make a plan to violently invade the Capitol Building, only one guy gets away with it. This is America."

13/02/21 20:03:53

Ok lads when we did the coin toss who stole it, I want my quarterback

13/02/21 20:27:30

"Now remember kids, when you get the ball, you DON'T shoot. That only happens in English football, we don't agree with shooting in America"

13/02/21 20:56:09

"Today we're playing the Parasites."
"Oh no, we always lose against lawyers."

13/02/21 20:37:08

"So we believe, ref, that your green card has expired and you should be back home in Romania"

Illegal Alien vs Predators

13/02/21 20:06:17

"Ok, standard selection rules. Line up in order of who can eat the most Krispy Kremes. If there's a tie, you need to do the Truffle Shuffle."

13/02/21 21:04:34

Dave just had time to text his wife who was also on the game.

13/02/21 20:31:56

Anon just had time to post some irrelevant pro-Trump material on a popular caption site before kickoff.

13/02/21 20:31:06

"Ok kids, professional football lasts 3 hours, but there's only 10 minutes of actual gameplay, so for the next 2 hours and 50 minutes we're going to practise standing around doing nothing ... Ready? Go!"

13/02/21 20:20:10

Never let the dads order the costumes for the high schools reenactment of The American Civil War

13/02/21 20:09:36

“You either wear the camp, effeminate luminous pink socks or you are off the team. You got this guys. Hut Hut.

13/02/21 20:06:29

In a bid to encourage kids to work harder in class the mini league made all players display their IQ on the back of their shirts.

13/02/21 20:04:09

'Let us prey'

13/02/21 20:00:09

Hang on, I just remembered I have to check my Lottery ticket.

14/02/21 21:51:51

Todd out grew the rest of the other kids. So had to make do with being the referee and player 65 Jimmy, had been picking on him.

14/02/21 16:54:38

Stars and Stripes.

14/02/21 10:56:29

Healthy eating is very important in Sports. So the coaching team and I don’t want to see any of you in Dunkin Doughnut’s. We’ll be there watching for you.

14/02/21 10:27:10

And here on the Serengeti, we see one Zebra foolishly trying to negotiate while the other slips quietly away.

14/02/21 9:48:22

"Reverse steroids, what were we thinking?"

14/02/21 2:06:54

“Yes Billy, they have different rules, but our guest coach will have plenty of tips on running & taking hits. He’s offered personal hands-on training with each of you, he’s come a long way, let’s all welcome Jimmy Savile.”

14/02/21 0:13:46

It may be the land of the free, but you persist in wearing those pink socks and you forfeit the game

13/02/21 23:56:05

"Now remember Leroy. When Frank says 'hut! hut!' that's not your cue to break into rap"

13/02/21 23:52:28

The Harvey Weinstein football academy

13/02/21 22:05:04

The Hobbit Bowl

13/02/21 20:58:27

"There was a spelling mistake on your shirts, it was meant to be an 'e' not an 'o' so lay off the cheerleaders."

13/02/21 20:54:08

"Coach? When the game starts can I take this flag out of my shirt?"

13/02/21 20:32:49

Aliens vs. _________

13/02/21 20:26:20

"We pledge our allegiance to the flag..."

"Don't listen to it! It's obvious brainwashing guys...hold on, I've been subdued, now repeat it again and again and again, reinforcement is important, it shouldn't do you the littlest bit of harm..."

13/02/21 20:04:00

Pitch perfect.

13/02/21 20:02:28

Typical Americans. Too busy being obsessed about sport to notice a giant yellow goblin hiding in the trees.

13/02/21 20:01:24

"YEEEEESSSSS. I've just won on a scratch card so you can shove your job up your arse. F*cking sh*tty kids football team."

13/02/21 20:00:36

The President is coming, and if he’s wearing shorts I don’t want any of you touching down the hair on his legs.

13/02/21 20:00:10