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super vote: ( left this week)

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"Hello students and welcome to your virtual sex education class on Zoom. To the left of me is Katie, my assistant for this presentation. Now, the first thing Id like to point out is my penis which is currently in sleepy mode. This would look very differe
"Hello students and welcome to your virtual sex education class on Zoom. To the left of me is Katie, my assistant for this presentation. Now, the first thing Id like to point out is my penis which is currently in sleepy mode. This would look very differe photo | portfolio
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The Wolf Vote score: 9335The Wolf

"Hello students and welcome to your virtual sex education class on Zoom. To the left of me is Katie, my assistant for this presentation. Now, the first thing I'd like to point out is my penis which is currently in sleepy mode. This would look very different if Katie had bigger tits as displayed in the top left of your screen. These tits have strips of tape on them which some people like. Below them is the sphincter which has been enlarged and clearly shows it in 'undisturbed mode'. A smaller version of this is underneath with an arrow pointing to a pricking device which ultimately leads to different sphincter sizes ranging from small to that of an Essex girl which is displayed on the far bottom left."

17/10/20 19:41:28

 3
"virtual sex education class on Zoom" - led by Jeffrey Toobin. --Willie Johnson
James Lennox Vote score: 6746James Lennox

When it came to finding a mutual medium through which we could communicate with extraterrestrial life, the world's most intelligent scientists unanimously decided upon porn.

17/10/20 19:24:55

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 377Ellen Duncalf

I can never remember trigonometry being this interesting in school.

17/10/20 19:03:54

 3
I have done everything possible to eradicate the memory of it...smiles. --Ellen Duncalf
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32869Tony Edwards

"We cum in peace."

17/10/20 19:01:22

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7233Hercules Rockefeller

No clothes encounters here.

17/10/20 19:07:30

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 377Ellen Duncalf


A leaked document has been retrieved by the CIA exposing Donald Trump’s next campaign strategy.

17/10/20 19:04:37

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6746James Lennox

After decades of deliberation, the Alpha Centaurians felt sure the message read:

"Hello. We are from Earth. Please feel free to visit our planet and establish a brothel."

17/10/20 19:04:35

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13074Stephen Bean

*translated from Catnipian somewhere in the Megellanic galaxy* "Ha, ha, ha, look at these ridiculous creatures. It looks like they're telling us how large their testicles are. Well, as they've told us where they live, let's go and incinerate their planet just for fun. What do you say lads?"

17/10/20 19:02:18

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4246Crunchy Chords
"Hello students and welcome to your virtual sex education class on Zoom. To the left of me is Katie, my assistant for this presentation. Now, the first thing Id like to point out is my penis which is currently in sleepy mode. This would look very differe

17/10/20 19:00:49

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9335The Wolf

"Dave, just stick it on and let's get on with it. Nobody has ever read the instructions in their pack of condoms"

17/10/20 19:00:18

 
Al Overy Vote score: 2100Al Overy

"...and that's how you play Naked Astronomy Twister. Any questions?"

17/10/20 19:00:17

 1
Yes. How big is an "astronomical unit"? --Willie Johnson
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11206Neil Mackenzie

We might have attracted more Aliens if we’d sent a picture of Tina from Doncaster.
Nod to Caption from previous picture.

18/10/20 5:35:20

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1992Willie Johnson

The man unknowingly gave the worst possible insult with his right hand, to the civilzation much more advanced than us. To make it worse, he did it while unclothed. The advanced civilization now had no choice but to annihilate this tiny planet called Earth, along with the solar system in which it was located... (*oops*).

18/10/20 0:36:49

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6437C CaMel

Debbie:"...and which dickhead forgot the spacesuits?"

17/10/20 23:19:00

 1
I guess that means he's a "member" of the human race? --Willie Johnson
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32869Tony Edwards

Sex tourists

17/10/20 19:43:56

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2913Scrijjy Doo

Problem is: this attracted the kinky aliens.

17/10/20 21:48:28

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2913Scrijjy Doo

More aliens would have responded if we had used a girl with a bigger chest.

17/10/20 21:45:50

 1
Or if we had used a guy with an astronomical unit (93,000,000 miles for those keeping score at home). --Willie Johnson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13599Vanessa the Guesser

I think it's a reproduction.

17/10/20 19:29:56

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21096John Glover

"Sorry sir, but my maths homework book was the only thing my dad could find to write down his half baked idea for The Contact an Alien competitiion."

17/10/20 19:22:13

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 377Ellen Duncalf


Recently discovered alien hieroglyphics reveal that they continue to be fascinated by naked surfers and varying ball sizes.

17/10/20 19:02:54

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7131Glyn Evans

"How's the clever plan going?"
"See for yourself, these are the blueprints. However the plan is so clever, you'll have to work it out before we begin."

18/10/20 20:08:09

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1992Willie Johnson

Yeah, my testicles get like that too when subjected to the coldness of space.

18/10/20 0:14:28

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 149Eugene Quill

"If you don't find me attractive anymore, why not just say so, instead of standing there throwing paper aeroplanes!"

17/10/20 23:33:06

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2913Scrijjy Doo

Hey baby, wanna do a few lines?

17/10/20 21:47:47

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 817alexandra ball

Oh no, I'm blinded with science.

17/10/20 21:26:53

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4706Stu Dent

the davinci cored

17/10/20 21:12:00

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6730Vivvy En

Nude archery, who knew? Lots of naked fletsh.

17/10/20 21:07:54

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10528Mr Dome

Instructions on how to escape a desert island using a paper boat

17/10/20 20:35:46

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21096John Glover

"Jim that bloody boy of ours has been doodling filth on the toilet wall again."

17/10/20 20:28:21

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32869Tony Edwards

"We are here."

17/10/20 20:07:42

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32869Tony Edwards

Star Whores

17/10/20 19:40:58

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6437C CaMel

"No wonder they probe us, low res full body images next to a mega zoom on the sphincter."

17/10/20 19:33:29

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10528Mr Dome

How

17/10/20 19:23:56

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23341Ian Skelding

A matematical equation

17/10/20 19:19:39

 
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