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Slag them off all you want, but North Koreas Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective.
Slag them off all you want, but North Koreas Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective. photo | portfolio
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The Wolf Vote score: 9439The Wolf

Slag them off all you want, but North Korea's Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective.

11/10/20 19:00:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

If your best man works for NASA, don't let him arrange the stag do.

11/10/20 19:03:14

 1
He's already got a hang over. --Willie Johnson
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7269Hercules Rockefeller

"Shit, did I leave the stove on?"

11/10/20 19:01:33

 1
Yes you did. That little speck of light in the distance is your house blowing up. --Willie Johnson
Eric Didage Vote score: 52Eric Didage

To give you an idea of how far out I am, Beckham's penalty from the euros in 2004 has just passed me!

11/10/20 21:58:33

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 149Eugene Quill

"In space, no one can hear you scream. Maybe I'll just give it a go anyway..."

11/10/20 19:59:29

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 710Charles Gilbert

2020 Hide and seek champion.

11/10/20 19:01:59

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6273Greg Curtis

“REALLY, y’didn’t go before you left?”

11/10/20 20:30:55

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23379Ian Skelding

"I think the springs on the trampoline are a bit too taut Dave."

11/10/20 19:10:27

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13630Vanessa the Guesser

You wait ages for a space shuttle then three comet once.

11/10/20 19:05:28

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9439The Wolf

"Can you hear me, Houston? I have a problem. I've lost contact with the shuttle, can you help me?...Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have shagged the Control Room Manager's daughter before I left Earth"

11/10/20 19:00:57

 
Ron  Allan Vote score: 5512Ron Allan

Memo to oneself..Return Sat Nav to Lidl

12/10/20 1:33:29

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2022Willie Johnson

Typical male. He wouldn't stop to ask for directions.

11/10/20 23:05:51

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

President of the Flat Earth Society gets ready to take the first ever photo of Earth's edge.

11/10/20 22:25:43

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

The last surviving human after Covid-19, 20, 21…….40 and 41... and yes, his name is Dave.

11/10/20 19:33:18

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

"C'mon guys, I was just clearing my throat. Guys?"

11/10/20 19:02:09

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4302Crunchy Chords
Slag them off all you want, but North Koreas Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective.

11/10/20 19:00:20

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1865Karen Oakenfull

When Pete got a job as a professional cameraman for kid’s TV, he was really excited to find out that his first assignment would be filming a new series of the Clangers............ Until they told him it was on location.

14/10/20 15:06:53

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32911Tony Edwards

"Quick! get me back, I've thought of a caption."

11/10/20 20:06:09

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4302Crunchy Chords
Slag them off all you want, but North Koreas Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective.

11/10/20 19:02:51

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

"How's the space walk going Bob?"
"Err, Houston we have a problem."
"What's that Bob?"
"You know our space station uses stealth fighter technology to be invisible to the Ruskies?"
"Yep."
"How the f-ck am I supposed to find it?"

11/10/20 19:01:27

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

Taking a space walk is a quick way to find out how popular you are with your 'friends'.

11/10/20 19:00:46

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

Dave wished he'd told NASA about his sleep walking problem.

11/10/20 19:00:26

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4302Crunchy Chords
Slag them off all you want, but North Koreas Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective.

11/10/20 19:00:07

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6533C CaMel

"It's always at the worst possible time I get an itchy bum."

12/10/20 5:47:48

 2
What is the best time? --Scrijjy Doo
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 149Eugene Quill

"Houston, be honest, does my bum look big in this?"

11/10/20 23:20:02

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7160Glyn Evans

"Finally, some space where I can breathe"

11/10/20 20:01:09

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 149Eugene Quill

"So, Colonel Dare, now you are condemned to spend eternity drifting in the wilderness of deep space, perhaps you regret calling the Mekon a big girl's blouse?"

11/10/20 19:51:39

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23379Ian Skelding

"OK, lifeline retraction at the ready."
"Lifeline? Damn, I knew there was something I'd forgotten."

11/10/20 19:49:41

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7160Glyn Evans

"Mum? I still can't find the vacuum, you're sure it's up here somewhere?"

11/10/20 19:20:49

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 149Eugene Quill

"At last, I've found my final front ear!"

11/10/20 19:18:19

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6771Vivvy En

"Is this it?" thought Dave. "There's nothing here. What a waste of space."

11/10/20 19:17:07

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6828James Lennox

2020: A Social Distancing Odyssey

11/10/20 19:13:34

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 710Charles Gilbert

"Why the hell did I have the beans for lunch?"

11/10/20 19:03:13

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 710Charles Gilbert

"We all float up here Richie."

11/10/20 19:02:19

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

If you want to get along with your colleagues in an enclosed space, it is advisable not to fart too often.

11/10/20 19:00:10

 
Sarah Chan Sarah Chan

Space has never been so far away

22/10/20 11:22:00

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 411Ellen Duncalf

Kevin, aged 32 from Kidderminster was reported missing on 12th June in the middle of filming an episode of ”Don’t Tell the Bride.”
His distraught bride-to-be said his last words to her we're ”your big day will be the out of this world experience you have always dreamt of.”

12/10/20 8:44:47

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2022Willie Johnson

Could you please just give me an address? Maybe the nearest cross street? And how will I recognize you?

11/10/20 23:09:26

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2022Willie Johnson

The only safe place for Trump if he loses the election.

11/10/20 23:00:44

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9937Chris Keegan

" Houston, it's no use, it would seem Major Tom Ato has already landed on Earth"

11/10/20 21:54:01

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1865Karen Oakenfull

“.....and don’t come till you’ve got a job!!!”

11/10/20 20:39:47

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6273Greg Curtis

“With everything going on, he’s just trying to get some perspective..”

11/10/20 20:29:30

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11234Neil Mackenzie

Cher threatened to go to Venus if Trump won in 2016, but she only set off when he won in 2020.

11/10/20 20:04:38

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23379Ian Skelding

"Sir Richard Branson to Virgin Galactic, where are you going?"

11/10/20 19:58:28

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21121John Glover

"Where's the bloody toilets?"

11/10/20 19:57:25

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23379Ian Skelding

"Where's the Moon?"
"You don't think I'm going to take off my space suit trousers off here do you?"

11/10/20 19:29:46

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7160Glyn Evans

Snog? Marry? A Void?

11/10/20 19:18:37

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4302Crunchy Chords

As Dmitry waited for Katya to join him, he had a feeling that the chances were not good for this first ever attempt at sex in space.

11/10/20 19:10:50

 
Mark England Vote score: 17481Mark England

"ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKiiiiiinnndd..."

11/10/20 19:08:00

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7160Glyn Evans

"Top of the morning to you, literally"

11/10/20 19:06:22

 
Al Overy Vote score: 2278Al Overy

"Bloody ejector seats!"

11/10/20 19:05:59

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23379Ian Skelding

Astronut

11/10/20 19:05:18

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 840alexandra ball

🎶 Fly me to the moon 🎶

11/10/20 19:01:55

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

Dave vowed never to play Blind Man's Bluff with his fellow astronauts again.

11/10/20 19:01:14

 
Molly R Vote score: 2287Molly R

"Boris is raising lockdown far too quickly for me."

11/10/20 19:00:22

 
Dot Old Vote score: 1266Dot Old

That's one small step for mankind, one giant leap for Dave.

11/10/20 19:00:22

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9439The Wolf

"Ok, I can hear you now"

The lengths you have to go to in order to get a signal on Three.

11/10/20 19:00:21

 
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