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"Do you think we gave him too much lettuce Charlie?"
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 12485Stephen Bean

"Do you think we gave him too much lettuce Charlie?"

08/10/20 23:27:50

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 674Charles Gilbert

"Have either of you kids seen like a Really big rabbit run through here?"

09/10/20 2:11:48

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6203C CaMel

A perfect metaphor for me, a big tough external shell but once you get past that, I eat children.

08/10/20 21:00:03

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32714Tony Edwards

"It's alright, it's just a robotic lawn mower."

08/10/20 19:59:11

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6567Vivvy En

"Clare, tortoises ARE vegetarian, aren't they?"

08/10/20 19:10:47

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6447James Lennox

"Stay back kids, I just farted."

08/10/20 20:16:16

 
Sheila  Graham Vote score: 317Sheila Graham

"We're safe as long as we don't move. He'll have to hibernate eventually."

08/10/20 19:27:29

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4565Stu Dent

Caution, Slow Moving Vehicle

08/10/20 19:16:28

 4
No objection, Author --Vivvy En
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23166Ian Skelding

Terrorpin

08/10/20 19:10:48

 1
1.Tortoise 2.Terrapin or turtle: One if by Land, Two if by Sea. - You're welcome, Mr. Anonymous (*Although his real name is William and he lives in Los Angeles, and sometimes he forgets to click the "post anonymously" b... --Willie Johnson
Sheila  Graham Vote score: 317Sheila Graham

Tortoizilla

10/10/20 14:22:46

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 98Eugene Quill

"Good job it's just Gulliver's tortoise - I don't fancy meeting his cat!"

09/10/20 15:14:33

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12485Stephen Bean

"We're gonna need a bigger cardboard box…"

"Maybe Daddy could buy some more sex dolls."

09/10/20 0:06:34

 
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 309Fozzgog B.

" ... very dangerous and ahould not be approached. We repeat - a pensioner was found cooked in her own oven. The two young suspects are very dangerous and should not be approached"

08/10/20 21:01:19

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2807Scrijjy Doo

Chinese Government Releases Photo of Tiananmen Square

08/10/20 20:35:07

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23166Ian Skelding

Esio Tots

08/10/20 20:34:10

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21011John Glover

"That's Tommy, he tortoise to be kind to each other."

08/10/20 20:03:24

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5101Karyn Harrison

Savage Garden

08/10/20 19:56:48

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6447James Lennox

Galapogas in the Mist

08/10/20 19:26:30

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5101Karyn Harrison

Shell shock

08/10/20 19:23:15

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8886The Wolf

January 2021 and the Coronavirus Pandemic takes an unexpected turn...

08/10/20 19:00:29

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 270Ellen Duncalf

The tortoise and the pair.

08/10/20 19:00:25

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6203C CaMel

One foot on the brave.

09/10/20 16:03:42

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 98Eugene Quill

"I think we must be in Inverness-shire."

09/10/20 15:13:24

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 674Charles Gilbert

It's turtles all the way down...

09/10/20 2:10:23

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 98Eugene Quill

"I said we needed a Shell Guide to find our way out of the forest!"

08/10/20 22:35:44

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6447James Lennox

"Hi kids, you haven't seen my wife have you?"

"How would we recognise her?"

08/10/20 20:19:24

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11112Neil Mackenzie

I told you not to say Esiotrot.

08/10/20 20:19:04

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4565Stu Dent

Shellican Crossing

08/10/20 20:16:40

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6567Vivvy En

-"Hey kids, I'm in a race. You got any performance-enhancers?"
-"No, Tommy. We don't do drugs."
-"I was thinking about a Cadbury's Caramel."

08/10/20 20:06:22

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32714Tony Edwards

They have been told not to eat the magic mushrooms.

08/10/20 19:52:16

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1916Willie Johnson

Oh the wonders of forced perspective. The children are actually much smaller. And this is Japan. Godzilla will be along any minute.

08/10/20 19:51:15

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10326Mr Dome

Is that a turtle's head I can see, Rosie?

08/10/20 19:43:50

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9599Chris Keegan

As pubs in Scotland close once more the taking of drugs becomes increasingly worrying. Visions of young children in love watching their giant pets roam the wilderness become a common illusion.

08/10/20 19:30:17

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7013Glyn Evans

"Oh, dear, nnnnoooooo!!!!!!"
"What's wrong?"
"I knew my nemesis would return, that's our old teacher"
"How can you tell?"
"Don't you remember? - he tortoise"

08/10/20 19:18:47

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6203C CaMel

"Lettuce Pray."

08/10/20 19:17:11

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 753alexandra ball

Aw, it's nice to see him come out of his shell.

08/10/20 19:03:33

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7155Hercules Rockefeller

"Let's call the Mario Bros. & tell them to make it snappy."

08/10/20 19:00:52

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8886The Wolf

I've had some horrible, hideous and scary nightmares over the years, but this?......2 bloody kids?

08/10/20 19:00:48

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4143Crunchy Chords

Neither a Borrower nor a land-animal be.

08/10/20 19:00:16

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8886The Wolf

"...and that's what David Icke thinks."

08/10/20 19:00:11

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4143Crunchy Chords

See turtle

08/10/20 19:00:05

 
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