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Dear Santa. For Christmas this year Id love some thermal underpants.
Dear Santa. For Christmas this year Id love some thermal underpants. photo | portfolio
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The Wolf Vote score: 8886The Wolf

Dear Santa. For Christmas this year I'd love some thermal underpants.

05/10/20 19:27:23

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12481Stephen Bean

Meat and blue veg

05/10/20 19:19:54

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2806Scrijjy Doo

"My eyes are up here!"

05/10/20 19:21:17

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7155Hercules Rockefeller

"They're only like that because self pleasure is against my religion."

05/10/20 19:06:13

 
Molly R Vote score: 2193Molly R

It says "Dear John, I'm afraid I may have given you an infection."

05/10/20 19:03:13

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12481Stephen Bean

Spot the ball competition for beginners.

05/10/20 19:04:55

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12481Stephen Bean

I warned him not to spend too long thinking about captions.

05/10/20 19:00:49

 
Ron  Allan Vote score: 5505Ron Allan

"You total pillock Malcolm..you're supposed to swallow the bloody Viagra, not rub it on your genitals"

05/10/20 23:18:25

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4707Lucky Elperro

"You dipped them in cryo-what?"

05/10/20 20:04:39

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21009John Glover

"I wasn't thinking sexy thoughts, I didn't realise it was erect, it just came out of the blue."

05/10/20 19:27:11

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23165Ian Skelding

"Would you mind where you're aiming that laser pen."

05/10/20 19:16:43

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 270Ellen Duncalf

Kelvin is not impressed with the latest idea of paintballing for enrichment during lock down. ”Those chimps are evil” he said in an interview earlier today at Monkeyworld in Dorset.

05/10/20 19:10:43

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4143Crunchy Chords

"Darling, have you ever heard of the term 'blue balls'?"
"You mean the idea that aroused males get blue testicles if they're not able to, well, finish? Yeah, but it's a myth, innit. Why do you ask?"

05/10/20 19:00:35

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9592Chris Keegan

"Well, that bloody well explains it. Apparently my dad used to play in a blues club that became a ballroom"

05/10/20 19:07:21

 
Mark England Vote score: 17429Mark England

Don't you just hate it when your Monkey Nuts go mouldy

05/10/20 19:03:07

 
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 309Fozzgog B.

"The DNA test came back - I'm not the monkey's uncle I'm the father!"

05/10/20 21:16:57

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10324Mr Dome

Winters in Newcastle are cold enough to freeze your balls off

05/10/20 21:06:47

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4707Lucky Elperro

This prescription for my incontinence pills said nothing about side effects.

05/10/20 20:05:54

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 753alexandra ball

Monkey nuts.

05/10/20 19:43:49

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13394Vanessa the Guesser

"Looks like a ransom note for a kidnapped Smurf"

05/10/20 19:33:10

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32711Tony Edwards

As bold as brass monkey.

05/10/20 19:25:30

 
Mark England Vote score: 17429Mark England

"I got em caught in a monkey wrench"

05/10/20 19:08:14

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4143Crunchy Chords

🎵 He wore Bluuue Vervet 🎵

05/10/20 19:00:12

 
Eugene  Quill Vote score: 98Eugene Quill

"Sarge, some blue from my uniform has rubbed off on me. I'm requesting permission to return to the station to clean up. It'll blow my cover if they suspect they're being monitored by the Repetitive Caption Police!"

08/10/20 14:21:28

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11108Neil Mackenzie

He’s a Chelsea fan.

06/10/20 7:23:02

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10324Mr Dome

WKD

05/10/20 20:53:40

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32711Tony Edwards

Blues and twos

05/10/20 19:58:33

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7012Glyn Evans

"Sir! Sir! I've got a note to skip gym class today because my Mummy says that I'm a protected species"

05/10/20 19:46:17

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23165Ian Skelding

"That's rubbish, the litmus paper hasn't turned blue."

05/10/20 19:30:00

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2806Scrijjy Doo

Christina Aguilera's Biggest Fan

05/10/20 19:28:41

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5101Karyn Harrison

"£27.50??? I only ordered a bacon wrap and a Diet Coke!"

05/10/20 19:19:58

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1916Willie Johnson

("Hmmm... what rhymes with 'blue me'?")

05/10/20 19:16:58

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8886The Wolf

"Morning boss, I can't work today, that f*cking Orangutan got annoyed when I said I thought she'd put on weight. Here's the sick note from the Vet"

05/10/20 19:16:24

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 270Ellen Duncalf

I can’t believe they shipped out all my lady friends to Whipsnade.

05/10/20 19:05:30

 
Mark England Vote score: 17429Mark England

"There's been a mistake. I ordered Blue Bols"

05/10/20 19:04:46

 
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