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This will mean curtains for their marriage.
This will mean curtains for their marriage. photo | portfolio
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13289Vanessa the Guesser

This will mean curtains for their marriage.

23/09/20 8:30:40

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10271Mr Dome

The typical husband scenario. His dog looks up to him, but his wife looks down on him

23/09/20 8:11:56

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 5226Chris Halliwell

Windows browser.

23/09/20 9:40:04

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11812Dave Bryan

New Message: ''I can c u sitting on your arse again''

23/09/20 8:00:57

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6357James Lennox

"Banksy, please remove your latest piece, it's creeping me out."

23/09/20 8:19:20

 
stone face Vote score: 8190stone face

Double gazing.

23/09/20 8:12:20

 
stone face Vote score: 8190stone face

"No! the silly cow hasn't a clue. In half an hour she'll be watching British Bake off, and I'll be rolling in the woods with you on our dog walk. Thankfully she's too thick to ever find out."

23/09/20 8:10:00

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1618Al Overy

"Tricky", thought Denzil. "Don't know any wife or dog captions..."

23/09/20 8:01:16

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20942John Glover

"Oh good, he is sleeping with Avril. He doesn't know it but I've given him VD and he'll give it to her. She'll give it to the milkman who'll give it to Elaine across the way. She'll infect Mike who'll give it to his wife, which is great, I really hate that stuck up bitch."

23/09/20 14:02:30

 1
Wow, that is an estimation and a half. Have none of these people heard of condoms? :-D --Glyn Evans
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12273Stephen Bean

Alice Through the Looking Glass

23/09/20 8:00:08

 
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 293Fozzgog B.

While racking his brains for a caption for two tits on a bird bath Jim totally failed to notice the pair on the window sill

23/09/20 22:21:19

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9472Chris Keegan

'Darling I must warn you, I think your wife has found out about us and apparently she's changed the locks and trained Rex to chew male genitalia'

23/09/20 8:40:15

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7110Hercules Rockefeller

Roger was looking for a bone. Meanwhile, his wife was looking at a bonehead.

23/09/20 8:04:55

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9472Chris Keegan

While Tom was bewildered Sue wasn't at all surprised that caption didn't get any votes.

23/09/20 8:02:59

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8755The Wolf

Looks like Dave's in the doghouse again...

23/09/20 8:01:02

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 735alexandra ball

Don't look now but there's that nosey cow from next door again.

23/09/20 16:31:41

 
Sheila  Graham Vote score: 313Sheila Graham

It's really handy being married to Alexa.

23/09/20 10:43:43

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15341Dan Nicholls

Google: Local shutter and blind companies.

23/09/20 10:27:41

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32660Tony Edwards

"Big Mother is watching you."

23/09/20 9:04:00

 1
What Mumsnet? --Glyn Evans
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11068Neil Mackenzie

Yes love, You don’t need to come home on Saturday. You can stay at your Mothers till Monday. Yes I’m missing you but keeping busy in the garden.

23/09/20 8:39:50

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23084Ian Skelding

"Are you going to buy a ticket or not?"

23/09/20 8:33:59

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23084Ian Skelding

Zoom with a view

23/09/20 8:25:27

 
stone face Vote score: 8190stone face

"Am just sitting next to the portal window that you can see into the pool. So pub to night with the lads. No, haven't asked her yet , she's still swimming. Don't worry I'll make up a lie."

23/09/20 8:23:09

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6507Vivvy En

"Hey, Daren," whined Bonzo, "Sharon's reading the message from your bit of...WOOF."

23/09/20 8:09:57

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13289Vanessa the Guesser

The Spy Who Loved Me

23/09/20 8:00:53

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 212Ellen Duncalf

Gosh, even the dog doesn’t trust me.

23/09/20 8:00:43

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13289Vanessa the Guesser

*My wife is a real pane*

23/09/20 8:00:08

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10271Mr Dome

CanIsee a penis inher cleavage?

23/09/20 15:04:04

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2565Trace Sarge

Wait watcher

23/09/20 12:46:37

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6095C CaMel

Angry Birds

23/09/20 10:14:47

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6095C CaMel

The Moaner Lisa

23/09/20 9:49:44

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6983Glyn Evans

Anon and me decided to discover which would be the fastest server, the drive-thru or ordering a meal online.

23/09/20 8:50:52

 
stone face Vote score: 8190stone face

"Angry Birds, Angry Birds,,,You drive all this way to ignore me and play Angry friggin Birds."

"Ok! Calm down. What's the problem?"

"What's the problem! I get one prison visit a month and you're playing fuckin Angry Birds."

23/09/20 8:26:40

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6095C CaMel

Google: will sellotaping to leg really reverse the effects of Viagra?

23/09/20 8:26:34

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12273Stephen Bean

They're both busted.

23/09/20 8:20:38

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6095C CaMel

"Do you mind, I'm texting my bit on the side." Said the dog.

23/09/20 8:20:18

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11812Dave Bryan

At last Jane had found a handy place to put her biro.

23/09/20 8:09:18

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6357James Lennox

White Y-fronts Matter Too!

23/09/20 8:06:04

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 212Ellen Duncalf

So, this is what walking the dog looks like.

23/09/20 8:04:50

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1618Al Overy

"Pisces: Your biggest problem is behind you. You've stolen someone's chocolate once too often. Expect Mars in Uranus very soon."

23/09/20 8:00:42

 
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