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Lots of time at home, unlimited porn and no toilet roll. What could possibly go wrong...
Lots of time at home, unlimited porn and no toilet roll. What could possibly go wrong... photo | portfolio
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The Wolf Vote score: 6968The Wolf

Lots of time at home, unlimited porn and no toilet roll. What could possibly go wrong...

30/03/20 20:00:10

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3738Stu Dent

Even drug addicts are panic buying

30/03/20 21:14:05

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18017Troompa Loompa

"You missed a bit."

30/03/20 20:24:17

 
Guy Random Vote score: 325Guy Random

Ever since I started self-isolating, my coke habit has got well out of control.

30/03/20 20:00:13

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9217Stephen Bean

"Stop taking photos please love. Can't you see I'm having an emulsional day?"

30/03/20 20:00:05

 
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 100Fozzgog B.

Dear Mr Jones
We at Jurassic World would like to offer our profound apologies for the incident with the pterodactyl. We will of course cover your dry cleaning costs and would like to offer you 20 per cent off your next visit

30/03/20 22:20:31

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9217Stephen Bean

"I've exceeded my paint threshold."

30/03/20 21:06:15

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11492Vanessa the Guesser

Seagulls do their bit to keep people away from the coast.

30/03/20 20:13:18

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3200Crunchy Chords

I had felt invincible, like I could accomplish anything, so I decided to renovate the bedroom. Turns out that having a caption with 20 votes is not an indicator of future life success.

30/03/20 20:01:58

 1
Past life success is not an indicator of having a caption with 20 votes. --Willie Johnson
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5558Paul Reeve

Down on his luck, Dave was feeling emulsional.

30/03/20 20:32:56

 5
If that’s the case then it is a genuine mistake on my part, and I sincerely apologise.It’s only a bit of fun so please don’t let a genuine mistake make you all emulsional  --Paul Reeve
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3200Crunchy Chords

"Why did I volunteer to collect Gulliver's sperm sample?"

30/03/20 20:00:29

 1
Mark Wilson Vote score: 990Mark Wilson

Self isolate doesn't improve your man's DIY skills. If he was shit before he's probably still shit now.

30/03/20 22:54:34

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20324John Glover

Jack was happy to have a job at Sainsburys, but that was going to be the last time he was to attempt to stop three bloody aggressive ladies from nicking twenty large bags of flour.

30/03/20 20:38:40

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 8994Dave Bryan

''If I ever get my hands on that f-cking Dulux dog........''

30/03/20 20:33:34

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1358Karen Oakenfull

“Over here Mick, shine the torch, I’ve found the white spirit.”

30/03/20 20:15:49

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10552Neil Mackenzie

His work mates were quick to tell him:- You’ve missed a bit.

30/03/20 20:15:04

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14551Dan Nicholls

In order to erase mistakes from the past on a tip from an ex, Dave spent time in a correction facility.

30/03/20 21:31:54

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 306alexandra ball

Jim was really crap at paintballing.

30/03/20 20:58:29

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3738Stu Dent

Flour to the people.

30/03/20 21:17:09

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6968The Wolf

Matt

30/03/20 20:31:16

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9217Stephen Bean

Barry White

30/03/20 20:00:45

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

“I’ll never bake bread again without the recipe booklet.”

31/03/20 22:35:09

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14551Dan Nicholls

Banksy finally admits to narcolepsy.

30/03/20 21:32:57

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6968The Wolf

*Caution*. Wet paint.

30/03/20 21:12:42

 
Guideaux . Vote score: 2212Guideaux .

Freak banana peel accident in columbarium.

30/03/20 20:35:16

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6510Glyn Evans

"That was a party"

30/03/20 20:26:37

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 8994Dave Bryan

Luke Gloss

30/03/20 20:05:00

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3200Crunchy Chords

"Don't worry about me, I'll be all-white."

30/03/20 20:00:08

 1
Your fully covered. --Scrijjy Doo
Grace Sleet Grace Sleet

call me Mr DIY don’t you dare

06/04/20 9:31:59

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 484Charles Gilbert

Everything's gonna be all white.

31/03/20 23:31:12

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1359Willie Johnson

("Let's see. I was pointing the laser light to read what was printed on the bag of plaster above my head. Then the cat came in....")

"I think I just got plastered."

31/03/20 10:38:33

 
Dev B Vote score: 599Dev B

Stonedface!

31/03/20 8:46:45

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4451Lucky Elperro

'I know how I'll propose' thought Dave. 'I'll recreate that clay pot scene from Ghost with Demi Moore'.

31/03/20 5:31:54

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9401Mr Dome

You keep blowing your top woman - I feel like I'm always walking on eggshell

31/03/20 0:29:20

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 387Gavin Smithers

Prosecution witness at the Alex Salmond trial

30/03/20 22:29:51

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11583 Smuldo

It was at this moment that dave realised he couldn't work from home... Dave is a spray painter.

30/03/20 21:46:40

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11583 Smuldo

Vinyl Slik.

30/03/20 21:42:00

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10552Neil Mackenzie

White Van Man becomes White Man Van.

30/03/20 21:33:12

 
Generic RedHead Vote score: 678Generic RedHead

So much emulsion in one picture.

30/03/20 21:23:31

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31406Tony Edwards

Eggshell shock

30/03/20 21:05:05

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 8994Dave Bryan

''Only me! You don't wanna fall off the ladder like that. You wanna get the paint on the ceiling not on yourself.''

30/03/20 20:58:43

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18017Troompa Loompa

It wasn't how the fall came about that puzzled Dave but more how he managed to leave a print on the wall beside him with a barefoot.

30/03/20 20:57:31

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18017Troompa Loompa

"Okay, okay, you win darling. We'll paint it magnolia."

30/03/20 20:42:59

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18017Troompa Loompa

"When I asked for a fitter, I didn't mean someone that's epileptic."

30/03/20 20:33:51

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1462Rachel P

After 79 captions, the ladder finally gave way.

30/03/20 20:32:36

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1462Rachel P

Sudo Wrestler

30/03/20 20:23:20

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21923Ian Skelding

Flour power

30/03/20 20:21:45

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31406Tony Edwards

He's flipped his lid.

30/03/20 20:21:16

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2094Scrijjy Doo

Coke is It

30/03/20 20:21:01

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2094Scrijjy Doo

It started out as "just one" line.

30/03/20 20:19:56

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10552Neil Mackenzie

I don’t know why you’re laughing? He had a brush with death when the tin fell on his head.

30/03/20 20:19:35

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9401Mr Dome

He's as daft as a brush

30/03/20 20:18:30

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18017Troompa Loompa

Fainter & Decorator

30/03/20 20:17:19

 
C CaMel Vote score: 5701C CaMel

Blankety Blanc.

30/03/20 20:15:25

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3200Crunchy Chords

The White Walkers aren't as scary when they stop walking.

30/03/20 20:13:32

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2094Scrijjy Doo

Say hello to my little friend.

30/03/20 20:12:22

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 990Mark Wilson

Let's just gloss over this

30/03/20 20:10:30

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11492Vanessa the Guesser

Piss Artist

30/03/20 20:06:39

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1358Karen Oakenfull

“Don’t EVER ask me to make homemade f*cking pancakes ever again.”

30/03/20 20:05:28

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10552Neil Mackenzie

Painting by numskulls.

30/03/20 20:04:50

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5319James Lennox

Dave polished off his entire stockpile of milk, before remembering that lactose intolerance gives him explosive diarrhea.

30/03/20 20:01:40

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9217Stephen Bean

"I'm sorry Bob, I'm leaving you. I can't take your blanc expressions any more."

30/03/20 20:00:17

 
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