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“Bloody vandals, no wonder ticket sales are down at the farts centre.”
“Bloody vandals, no wonder ticket sales are down at the farts centre.” photo | portfolio
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C CaMel Vote score: 4931C CaMel

“Bloody vandals, no wonder ticket sales are down at the farts centre.”

05/02/20 20:51:21

 3
Mark Wilson Vote score: 410Mark Wilson

Whoever did this deserves a

S
L
A
P

05/02/20 21:48:30

 
stone face Vote score: 6624stone face

I was in charge of cleaning this disgusting pool on my work rota. It was even more disgusting when the manager insisted we kept a log.

05/02/20 20:18:29

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 7144Dave Bryan

Don't forget your bowel.

05/02/20 20:32:31

 
Generic RedHead Vote score: 522Generic RedHead

"That's disgusting,what kind of sick freak wants to read books?"

05/02/20 21:05:02

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 4833Chris Halliwell

You don't have to Swim in it, you could just go through the motions.

05/02/20 20:58:54

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21279Ian Skelding

"I hear that it has a children's piddling pool as well."

05/02/20 20:56:52

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30601Tony Edwards

"Follow your nose."

05/02/20 20:26:36

 
stone face Vote score: 6624stone face

The shallow end is waste high.

05/02/20 20:05:06

 1
Go down to the other end and you'll be in deep shit. --John Glover
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2697Crunchy Chords

"Just a bit of white paint... now visitors will be in for a smelly surprise when they arrive at the 'arts centre'."

05/02/20 20:00:14

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 6535Stephen Bean

You'll either stink or swim.

05/02/20 20:03:33

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38725Welsh Rarebit

Read 'em and wipe

05/02/20 20:00:16

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5825The Wolf

"I wish these bloody youths would stop messing around with the sign"

"I know but don't worry. We'll soon be in the Farts centre"

05/02/20 20:24:39

 4
Wow, you are such a nice person Caption Author. 20:51:21 is really similar to yours but half an hour later and at present 14 votes up. You must be Mother Teresa and Ghandi's love child. --James Lennox
James Lennox Vote score: 4429James Lennox

Given these three options, my kids would choose the poo.

05/02/20 20:00:10

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5825The Wolf

"Ok children, NO WEEING IN THE POOL. Poo only please. Don't be disgusting"

05/02/20 20:05:39

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2697Crunchy Chords

No one said anything, because when you find yourself in deep sh*t, you keep your mouth shut.

05/02/20 20:01:10

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2697Crunchy Chords

Danger: No Running. Slippery when Wet.

05/02/20 20:00:51

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 6535Stephen Bean

Tragically there was a faecal accident.

05/02/20 20:00:35

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38725Welsh Rarebit

...and loos yourself in a good book

05/02/20 20:00:29

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 6535Stephen Bean

"I don't go there any more. It was full of floaters."

05/02/20 20:00:04

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 990Willie Johnson

"Swim in poo" - no thanks, I'm done with politics.

05/02/20 20:44:13

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6079Glyn Evans

Mind your P's and 2's.

05/02/20 20:33:37

 
James Lennox Vote score: 4429James Lennox

Evacuate the pool, somebody's evacuated in the pool.

05/02/20 20:31:57

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5825The Wolf

"Did you have a nice swim Julie?"
"Not really. I've got a bit of sweetcorn stuck at the back of my throat"

05/02/20 20:16:26

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 10250Vanessa the Guesser

Sounds like a bit of a dive.

05/02/20 20:00:26

 
Ron Bell Vote score: 30Ron Bell

Hope there's plenty of Shite Guards!

06/02/20 13:36:57

 
Ron Bell Vote score: 30Ron Bell

No floaters in the shallow end

06/02/20 13:35:38

 
Dev B Vote score: 492Dev B

Who wants free tickets to

poo
Art centre

????

06/02/20 5:39:57

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5986Greg Curtis

“Funny, they removed the “‘F’ so it says, ‘arts center .”

06/02/20 3:28:47

 
J Gaskill Vote score: 94J Gaskill

General Edd

06/02/20 1:19:07

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8516Mr Dome

Piss sign

06/02/20 0:24:52

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 333Gavin Smithers

Book of the week- The House at Pooh Corner
Now playing- Krapp's last tape

06/02/20 0:21:33

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 1665Scrijjy Doo

You had me at "Swim in poo."

05/02/20 22:38:22

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14012Dan Nicholls

"Bloody kids!"
"No, that session is on Wednesday night, just after vomiting Nans".

05/02/20 22:03:15

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4090Lucky Elperro

Chinese Ambassador takes office at local library.

05/02/20 22:03:15

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14012Dan Nicholls

No heavy patting

05/02/20 21:57:18

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4931C CaMel

No thanks, I’ve just crimped my hair.

05/02/20 21:19:33

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8122Chris Keegan

When it came to the opening ceremony, Cardiff City Council were forced to apologise to the Queen stating Welsh doesn't always translate well.

05/02/20 21:04:04

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30601Tony Edwards

Triathlon with a difference.

05/02/20 20:59:36

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5007Vivvy En

Open for business as usual

05/02/20 20:58:08

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4931C CaMel

“I managed three lengths.”

05/02/20 20:57:14

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30601Tony Edwards

"It's about time they fixed the bloody toilets!"

05/02/20 20:54:12

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 410Mark Wilson

That'll be the log flume slide playing up again.

05/02/20 20:53:17

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8516Mr Dome

It's dire 'ere

05/02/20 20:52:52

 
Rachel P Vote score: 567Rachel P

If you’re constantly passing, please move to a faster lane!

05/02/20 20:47:21

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21279Ian Skelding

An excrement faecility

05/02/20 20:41:28

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 6535Stephen Bean

Truly Medley Dumply

05/02/20 20:37:41

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6079Glyn Evans

It must be in Slurrey.

05/02/20 20:35:45

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6079Glyn Evans

The Sea
Library
Arts Centre
P

05/02/20 20:32:34

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19871John Glover

I wouldn't go for swimming lessons, I'm told they have a crap instructor.

05/02/20 20:31:17

 
James Lennox Vote score: 4429James Lennox

This way to the Thames

05/02/20 20:27:42

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9802Neil Mackenzie

Take the turd turning off the roundabout.

05/02/20 20:25:39

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8122Chris Keegan

The lengths people will go to so to borrow a book and read it in Garfunkel's!

05/02/20 20:23:45

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30601Tony Edwards

Bog snorkelling

05/02/20 20:19:17

 
stone face Vote score: 6624stone face

I was the top swimmer in my local baths, everyone loved me.
They all hated my mate Sharon, because she was the number two swimmer.

05/02/20 20:16:01

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30601Tony Edwards

Water poolo

05/02/20 20:15:29

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 6535Stephen Bean

Never give a captioneer a bottle of tippex.

05/02/20 20:15:08

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3185Stu Dent

stink-ronised swimming

05/02/20 20:15:00

 
The Wolf Vote score: 5825The Wolf

"Dave, I'm just going to drop the kids off at the pool..."

05/02/20 20:13:53

 
stone face Vote score: 6624stone face

It's where the lifeguard sits on his stool.

05/02/20 20:09:06

 
stone face Vote score: 6624stone face

Here's where the Olympic gold medallist, Mark Shitz trained.

05/02/20 20:07:07

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 7144Dave Bryan

Swim in poo and get a fertile mind.

05/02/20 20:05:19

 
Rachel P Vote score: 567Rachel P

Cess pool

05/02/20 20:02:30

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 10250Vanessa the Guesser

"That's convenient. I need to look up how to spell diarrhoea."

05/02/20 20:01:25

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3185Stu Dent

I think the F has fallen off the bottom.

05/02/20 20:01:05

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2697Crunchy Chords

← Sh*t Creek

05/02/20 20:00:30

 
Molly R Vote score: 1395Molly R

Damien Hirst got his latest idea from a book.

05/02/20 20:00:08

 
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