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"I'll post this on Faithbook..."

07/05/19 11:00:04

Jesus figured selling selfies on ebay would make him a prophet.

07/05/19 11:02:50

"Say Jeez...."

07/05/19 11:00:12

''I'm sorry, Jesus, we've run out of wine.''

''Don't worry. It's not a problem.''

07/05/19 11:07:20

The Last Selfie

07/05/19 12:39:37

clever

The last WhatsApper

07/05/19 11:07:14

"And this is me and the boys last Easter."

07/05/19 13:12:16

What the worst can happen you could be dead in the morning

07/05/19 11:11:27

"Thanks guys for picking up the tab. I'll pay next time.."

07/05/19 11:01:53

"With my new selfie cam I can finally see what's going on here. Judas will betray me, Peter will deny me and those f*cking captioneers will take the piss out of me. Well guess what, I don't want to sound childish but, my dad's bigger than your dad"

07/05/19 12:04:08

I'm telling you it's a miracle! That phone battery was dead and he took pictures with it all night.

07/05/19 16:42:56

''Can you pay the bill, Judas?''

''How much is it, Jesus?''

''Thirty pieces of silver.''

07/05/19 11:02:40

"Jesus, I know you're pissed but I don't think you should have filmed Pontius's girlfriend giving you a blowy on your new phone. You know how jealous he can be, he's bound to try and get his own back"

07/05/19 11:01:11