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"Thats the fifth one today, I think we should get them to turn the electric fence off."
"Thats the fifth one today, I think we should get them to turn the electric fence off." photo | portfolio
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Ian Skelding Vote score: 20330Ian Skelding

"That's the fifth one today, I think we should get them to turn the electric fence off."

11/05/19 9:11:29

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12147Dan Nicholls

It's ok sir, as large scale metal theft goes, this is your first, a fence.

11/05/19 8:20:59

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2263Stephen Bean

Frank couldn’t remember much about the stag do but as he was being heaved upwards he recalled someone talking about superglueing nuts to a pavement.

11/05/19 8:02:29

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21442Michael Winner

"Sorry mate, I had to shoot- I thought you were black."

11/05/19 8:54:23

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7711Vanessa the Guesser

He was usually caught red handed.

11/05/19 8:14:22

 
John Llamas Vote score: 19747John Llamas

“OK Sir ........ the good news, everything checked out fine with your drivers licence.
The bad news, you have a slightly enlarged prostate ....”

11/05/19 9:37:24

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1620Stu Dent

They a arresting him for curb crawling

11/05/19 8:28:24

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5291Glyn Evans

"Blue gloves are a bad sign. You ain't getting anywhere near my arse."

11/05/19 8:04:05

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5412Hercules Rockefeller

"Sir, now is not the time for an arm wrestling competition."

11/05/19 8:04:58

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5167Chris Keegan

Yet another missing criminal found in what they thought was Hide Park.

11/05/19 9:15:21

 
Gassy Statten Vote score: 206Gassy Statten

Now we've been formally introduced, do you think you could actually treat my injuries??

11/05/19 8:21:26

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35086Welsh Rarebit

Looks like the lawn enforcement officers have arrived.

11/05/19 8:00:33

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18697John Glover

"Quick, no one's looking, give him another good kicking."

11/05/19 13:20:03

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 10727 Smuldo

"Let me help you up Sir, did you fall?"... "No, I'm trying to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket" (nod to Chic Murray)

11/05/19 10:01:49

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 7711Vanessa the Guesser

🎵 Get up, stand up
Stand up for your rights

11/05/19 9:48:49

 
Gassy Statten Vote score: 206Gassy Statten

No! Please don't pull THAT finger.....

11/05/19 8:42:08

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6278Mr Dome

'And this, Mandy, is called the masturbator grip'

11/05/19 8:21:53

 
Gassy Statten Vote score: 206Gassy Statten

Strong arm of the law.

11/05/19 8:18:38

 
larry G. Vote score: 1139larry G.

"Hemorrhoids are a pain in the ass!"

11/05/19 15:30:25

 
larry G. Vote score: 1139larry G.

Damn bananas!

11/05/19 15:23:31

 
Joe Vote score: 1512Joe

‘Mr Wilson, I’m afraid you’ll have to protest elsewhere’
‘Don’t oppress me - I’m not going anywhere till Mandela’s released’
‘Are you gonna tell him, or should I?’

11/05/19 15:03:52

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 21442Michael Winner

Another successful outcome during 'Taser Awareness Week'.

11/05/19 15:01:59

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8981Neil Mackenzie

When this ornithologist had seen the small bird puking up he had wrung up for wren sick analysis.

11/05/19 9:35:25

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5167Chris Keegan

Dave was getting seriously concerned about the growing number of cyclists (just out of shot) waiting for this individual to be removed from the cycle lane.

11/05/19 8:45:59

 
Gassy Statten Vote score: 206Gassy Statten

All out response to a 911 call about a gaping manhole on the pavement that could be a danger to the public........

11/05/19 8:32:50

 
Gassy Statten Vote score: 206Gassy Statten

The others thought this was all quite funny but one cop laughed so much he peed himself.

11/05/19 8:30:04

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1423James Lennox

"Quick, call the police, an ambulance, and the fire brigade. Bill Gates has tripped over."

11/05/19 8:01:06

 
larry G. Vote score: 1139larry G.

"If you hurry, you can catch the jailers all you
can eat bread and water special."

11/05/19 23:41:28

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 242Gavin Smithers

Ok, Supertramp- we're arresting you for the Crime of the Century.

11/05/19 21:57:42

 
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 36Madeline Charlton

"Liar , liar , pants on fire !"

11/05/19 18:53:36

 
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