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For Sale: Mobile with one previous owner, crack across screen.
For Sale: Mobile with one previous owner, crack across screen. photo | portfolio
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Chris Moorhead Vote score: 1564Chris Moorhead

For Sale: Mobile with one previous owner, crack across screen.

16/07/17 20:01:09

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6511Vivvy En

Andy's talking out of his backside again

16/07/17 20:13:33

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

"I can't talk right now, I'm in the orifice."

16/07/17 20:05:30

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2800Jonathan Allsopp

Odourfone.

16/07/17 20:20:38

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

'Smart' arse.

17/07/17 19:13:06

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Ring Tone

16/07/17 20:00:06

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5789Paul Reeve

Smell phone

16/07/17 20:01:29

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

"Well, there was no room down the front," said Derek, modestly.

16/07/17 20:35:42

 
Craig Eddie Vote score: 635Craig Eddie

S-Wipe

16/07/17 22:30:19

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

Some guys go to great lengths to avoid a wedgie.

16/07/17 20:37:25

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2800Jonathan Allsopp

'My phone is really pants.'
'Funny you should say that.'

16/07/17 20:31:40

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15342Dan Nicholls

Pay as you go.

16/07/17 20:28:18

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13293Vanessa the Guesser

Please speak clearly into the receiver.

16/07/17 20:18:37

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23087Ian Skelding

Dialarhoea

16/07/17 20:07:32

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

The coverage around here is crap.

17/07/17 19:58:03

 
Gf j Vote score: 486Gf j

I know him!! He's the arsehole from the call centre who phones me twice a week!

17/07/17 16:08:55

 
Something  Something Vote score: 111Something Something

Andy never did anything half arsed

17/07/17 7:49:41

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11075Neil Mackenzie

Nokia it's to public. Come back to my place.

17/07/17 7:31:07

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11075Neil Mackenzie

He walked about with it in clear view but no one ever tried to steal it.

17/07/17 7:27:55

 1
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

Ouch!- Siri is giving me a tongue lashing.

17/07/17 3:18:10

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

Your call has been placed on hold.

17/07/17 3:14:44

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

"How tall are you?"
"I got a phone up my ass, call up and find out!"

17/07/17 3:13:14

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6098C CaMel

'Are you sure you want to wipe your phone?'

16/07/17 22:47:35

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6098C CaMel

Estate Agent's hands free kit

16/07/17 22:41:07

 
Craig Eddie Vote score: 635Craig Eddie

He farted and Siri put him straight through to Donald Trumps office.

16/07/17 22:34:26

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10271Mr Dome

'Hang on luv someone's Faecaltiming me'

16/07/17 21:49:14

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10271Mr Dome

'Hello, Donald Trump speaking'

16/07/17 21:44:08

 
Smuldo Vote score: 11712Smuldo

Butt-talks.

16/07/17 21:28:05

 
Martin Daniels Vote score: 52Martin Daniels

mr mankini proudly shows off his new ring piece cover

16/07/17 21:27:32

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32665Tony Edwards

Butt plug phone

16/07/17 21:22:36

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2858GeeDee

Trunk Call

16/07/17 21:19:54

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6098C CaMel

'You sound crackly'

16/07/17 21:17:46

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3286Stephen Paterson

He was proud of this phone, but it wasn't the apple of his eye.

16/07/17 21:05:57

 
tony kelly Vote score: 1273tony kelly

''Has anyone seen a woman with a dog's nose tattoo on her tits? I have her phone.''

16/07/17 21:00:51

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

"I can't stop scratching my ass-hole"
"You've probably got ring worms."

16/07/17 21:00:35

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6511Vivvy En

Rob had found a way to stop his sister borrowing his phone

16/07/17 20:57:59

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3286Stephen Paterson

Kanye West, Stains massive.

16/07/17 20:56:57

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13293Vanessa the Guesser

Better coverage is available for virgin customers.

16/07/17 20:55:28

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

Now everybody has mobiles, you don't often see pubic phones.

16/07/17 20:55:20

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3286Stephen Paterson

The Forbidden Fruit.

16/07/17 20:53:04

 
Tracey Sarge Vote score: 2565Tracey Sarge

Can't be arsed to ring in sick

16/07/17 20:41:38

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2800Jonathan Allsopp

There are plenty of these on sale at Carphone Brick Shithouse.

16/07/17 20:40:04

 
Tracey Sarge Vote score: 2565Tracey Sarge

The lengths people go to hide their Kavos tattoo

16/07/17 20:37:29

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20943John Glover

"I know you don't like photo messages, but that won't wipe the smile off your boss's face."

16/07/17 20:29:51

 1
Martin Y Martin Y

The perfect anti theft location for your mobile

16/07/17 20:25:25

 
Tracey Sarge Vote score: 2565Tracey Sarge

Pickpocket proof.

16/07/17 20:23:06

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23087Ian Skelding

"Brrring brrring or show us your ring."

16/07/17 20:22:47

 
Richard Burns Vote score: 375Richard Burns

It certainly makes receiving a call a lot of fun.

16/07/17 20:21:32

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4096Crunchy Chords

"Hello? James?... Oh my God..."
James forgot about the job interview he had scheduled for that day via FaceTime.
He looked like an arse-hole.

16/07/17 20:21:17

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

"I'd take that phone back because it looks like you got a bum deal."

16/07/17 20:19:04

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2800Jonathan Allsopp

Chris Beach reveals what he thinks of the latest round of captions.

16/07/17 20:18:37

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32665Tony Edwards

Asswering machine

16/07/17 20:14:50

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

O number 2

16/07/17 20:11:36

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4096Crunchy Chords

Borat shot his sequel with an iPhone, for a more intimate feel.

16/07/17 20:09:21

 
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Realising his boss has just seen him in a mankini, Baxter shits a brick.

16/07/17 20:08:24

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3286Stephen Paterson

Cheeky bugger's put me on holed.

16/07/17 20:07:51

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4096Crunchy Chords

"Ooohoohoo! I just love getting texts when my phone is set to Vibrate!"

16/07/17 20:07:21

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

He's got haemandroids.

16/07/17 20:06:02

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5789Paul Reeve

" I tried ringing him but I think he's got a crap signal."

16/07/17 20:05:23

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

Nobody will ever buy a phone from Ebay ever again.

16/07/17 20:03:22

 
Chris Moorhead Vote score: 1564Chris Moorhead

"Every time I try ringing him I get a thong number."

16/07/17 20:03:09

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

Somehow, you just know that he's live streaming that.

16/07/17 20:01:27

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

Well, nobody's stealing that.

16/07/17 20:00:32

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Brown iPhone

16/07/17 20:00:28

 
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