'I'll have the salad, I've been eating shit lately'

22/10/16 20:04:29

"Come into my Parlour."
"Who said that?"

23/10/16 0:37:11

Midge was waiting for Mary and Mungo to turn up.

22/10/16 21:20:43

"Leaf me alone. I've had a buzzy day."

22/10/16 21:12:07

Quick, someone send in the S.W.A.T team.

22/10/16 20:06:34

"Why does everybody keep asking me if I know Jeff Goldblum?"

22/10/16 20:06:20

"I'm starting to get a buzz after eating this crap."

24/10/16 17:27:46

It was bad enough waking up with a hangover; then I got a proper look at what I shagged last night.

23/10/16 9:15:14

"Ok, you got me, I'm looking for a blow fly."

22/10/16 23:16:41

Flydrangea

22/10/16 22:43:44

"Hi. Keep pointing that thing at me and I will make your life miserable! You got the message... from a Bottle?"

22/10/16 22:26:17

A Bug's Wife

22/10/16 22:22:48

Henry hides in a pot plant waiting to annoy the shit out of someone.

22/10/16 21:09:34

Green fly.

22/10/16 20:53:03

♪ I know an old lady who swallowed a fly... ♪
"Derek, will you stop singing that to the young flies, it's giving them nightmares!"

22/10/16 20:35:09

'I'm just off to a manure handling course.'

22/10/16 20:33:45

I hear there's a nasty bug going around.

22/10/16 20:29:25

SWAT...'You rotten swine, you deaded me!"

22/10/16 20:11:41

Let us spray

22/10/16 20:11:15

" Flight Navigator to Squadron Leader, bare juicy human skin 12 yards on a 180 degrees !"

22/10/16 22:16:48

This Hulk's ear tastes a bit plasticky

(Nod to made up words)

22/10/16 22:05:29

In his work the Metamorphosis of Narcissus, Dahli depicted a Greek self-obsessed with his own beauty and, upon seeing his reflection in a pool and realised he could not embrace himself he died very frustrated. The gods subsequently immortalised him as the narcissus flower as we know it the daffodil, a thing of beauty. A fly however eats shit and lands on your ice cream. Not beautiful in my book. Especially if one gets squashed as I slam the book shut. Rant over. Night

22/10/16 22:00:12

Larva. Fly. Repeat

22/10/16 21:52:15

What do you call me without wings? A walk.

22/10/16 21:09:57

"Yer, I'm getting used to eating in the cow fields, I've now got it off pat."

22/10/16 20:44:41

"Hey, that's my ex-larva."

22/10/16 20:43:37

"Fred, look out for the Venus Flytra.... Oh, too late."

22/10/16 20:40:20

"Buzz off! I have no time to caption! Gotta fly..."

22/10/16 20:36:35

'I've been so busy on a cow's backside. Now I think I'll go and hang out at the Great British Bake Off tent and watch the final live!'

22/10/16 20:29:54

"Ah, my captain, I return. I am back, I've arrived, and to prove it I'm here."
(nod to the Goons)

22/10/16 20:27:54

Take care, 007, I fear the room may have been bugged.

22/10/16 20:27:00

"Son ....... when I was a young fly things were very different. People didn't bag up dog shit and we never had to search too hard for our next meal."

22/10/16 20:21:41

I don't like to name-drop, but that Chris Packham is a very good friend of mine.

22/10/16 20:20:34

....WANTED.....One Green Bottle
Last seen hanging on a wall flower.

22/10/16 20:19:39