What do mean, you left the toilet roll in the woods?

13/07/19 13:22:23

January in next year's Vladimir Putin calendar

12/08/19 20:28:24

Whatever happened to his mate from the 118 118 advert?

05/07/19 20:12:57

Damn it's an automatic - I learned on a manual gear car.

22/04/19 20:14:33

clever

She must be a spoonersim

Mon 22:48:49

The main Hiroshima car park still told its own tales of what happened that day.

29/07/19 18:48:55

Oops. Sorry Dave.

21/03/20 19:19:38

Fortnum & Mason were struggling to sell their new line in Christmas hampers

03/01/20 21:38:26

Sorry children, but Father Christmas isn't coming this year - you see, just after this photograph was taken he was killed when a baby fell on his head from a great height after being dropped.

13/06/19 20:21:30

It's a trap!

16/04/19 20:22:03

"What do you mean, You can't see us?"

26/03/19 20:04:27

The invisible woman decided to attract the invisible man by advertising beer in the nude

19/10/19 21:24:44

Not a caption, just "Why?"

02/05/19 12:45:29

I hear that John Lewis want us *both* in their Christmas advert again

26/04/19 20:37:59

US Prom costumes have taken a great turn for the better

17/02/20 22:13:57

Dave's mind wandered as he thought "Why does it look like she has got a pair of small boots on her chest?" but then came the reveal.

30/12/19 20:26:27

Not quite Game of Thrones but getting there

18/12/19 22:39:26

Is this Victoria's Secret?

15/12/19 9:05:04

Darling, why are all the men hanging from the gantry looking at the reflective floor?

15/10/19 19:06:37

If her partner could wear a wolf's head, sit on a windowsill, and look at the street below then, damn it, so could she

29/09/19 14:27:56

I don't remember this scene in Dumbo - is this from the remake?

26/09/19 17:18:02

So who's going to be the first to bend down and pick up the dropped five pound note from the floor?

03/08/19 11:26:18

Sorry boys, but I'm the only bike on offer in the latest caption competition.

29/07/19 18:43:49

Stockpiling packets of Jacob's Cream Crackers, just in case of a bad Brexit

30/06/19 14:21:43

Mum, move your fat arse, I want to see the dog with Miss DeVil

28/06/19 20:12:53

Eva H's new range of "Hello Boys" tops

16/06/19 22:47:51

Now, Mr. Claus, is that right? My sergeant and I would like you walk this straight line to see whether we need to test your blood/alcohol level... as you said that you are missing some ... reindeer???!!!!

13/06/19 20:15:28

36-24-48

09/06/19 22:29:48

We're ready for your blue movie Mr. Cruise

03/06/19 20:11:43

Thing from the Addams Family has now found a new role in life, alongwith one of his classmates

29/04/19 20:33:17

New course available: Hara Kiri for beginners

26/04/19 20:35:55

Don't fancy yours much, Bert

26/04/19 20:31:19

New alien for the next Guardians of the Galaxy film revealed

23/04/19 20:31:22

Getting older, Dave revelled in something hot and throbbing between his legs again

20/04/19 14:51:24

Some of the other competitors in the world Balance A Beer On Your Head championships began to wonder whether to continue with their entries

18/04/19 22:03:44

Sod a caption, just get me their telephone numbers

11/04/19 13:05:52

The radical offshoot of the Pink Floyd Album Re-enactment Society pictured at their recent AGM

25/03/19 20:52:36

The Oxford College's new take on eating at High Table was not to the liking of some undergradauates

23/01/19 20:32:26

Only in America

12/04/20 9:35:30

Photoshop can do wonders when you mix the 'before' and 'after' pictures

28/03/20 21:41:22

Believing in re-incarnation, I am coming back as a whatever-the-job-title-this-man-has.

21/03/20 19:22:05

Donald T-Rump

21/03/20 19:19:01

The Smith family still, to this day, cannot figure out how their duvet was stolen without either of them noticing nor why the burglar photographed them from the ceiling and sent the picture to some semi-amusing internet website.

21/03/20 18:48:34

Don't fancy yours much, mate

04/03/20 18:10:08

The future has now corrected the fault where Terminators arrived nude at their chosen chain-link fence destination

04/01/20 12:06:54

Bert was having this lovely dream, where the girl of his fantasy was running towards him. It distressed him to awake, missing his left arm

03/01/20 21:27:32

wtf's a Tardis anyway?

03/01/20 20:48:05

Wee Willie Winkie

23/12/19 18:06:48

Dave prepares to show his hedgehog escape apparatus on Dragon's Den

23/12/19 18:05:24

How my backside feels after a very hot curry

23/12/19 18:00:53

(singing) Indiana Wants me, but I can't go back there
(Nod to R Dean Taylor, who also sang "There's A Ghost In My House", which could be applicable here as well)

23/12/19 17:57:50

Mascot for the Indianapolis Clots

18/12/19 22:43:35

The spy known as The Motorbike Assassin positively knew that he couldn't miss his next target as he took aim

17/12/19 22:49:06

Tony the Tiger's coming to get you

15/12/19 9:05:41

After changing to go home, 28081 wasn't that pleased with her prize

28/11/19 17:38:10

Yes I know that her legs are shapely, but DID you have to go and put your cold nose up her skirt, said the dog

26/11/19 19:13:37

Who the bloody hell is Clarence?

17/11/19 19:19:51

SO, one part finished. Now for the robotic Bill and Ben

08/11/19 19:36:43

Education is so lacking these days.
That's NOT how you spell bullet

03/11/19 9:51:30

The travelling roadshow for the new set of lottery balls seems to be leaving many people confused

03/11/19 9:47:16

Probably in America

19/10/19 21:11:17

The Mysterons decided to only half resuscitate their latest victim

17/10/19 12:46:55

Bat Cat

15/10/19 19:20:46

"Gulliver ..."
... sorry that is as far as I got thinking of a caption for this... whatever it is

28/09/19 14:23:05

Gulliver's new Jenga game seemed to upset some of the locals

28/09/19 14:13:28

All I can say is ... at least it's easy access (I think)

18/09/19 17:41:34

Scooby!? Scooby!? What *have* they done to you?

16/09/19 19:12:39

Gloria decided, after 50 repeatings, that her entry to the fancy dress party as a Zoom ice lolly was possibly better described in the form of a charade.

14/09/19 11:22:30

Hey you, sexy vixen down there. Do you want to come up and see my etchings?

14/09/19 11:15:52

Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain, a pictorial update

13/09/19 22:20:54

Inside Jeremy Corbyn's brain, a decision bubble formed and flickered for a moment but then was extinguished by the fencesitting anti-particle

04/09/19 18:25:44

It was only after a Freedom Of Information request that the Powers That Be admitted that Jeremy Corbyn was indeed a renegade Garden Cyborg from the future

07/08/19 18:07:27

"That's a deadly 2-legged Tharg Beetle and I'm not going anywhere near it", said the 23rd incarnation of The Doctor, whilst watching his new 19yo companion get into her bed.

29/07/19 18:41:00

The unfinished work of art from the Colour Blind Art School project on "Rainbow colours and how to recognise them"

29/07/19 18:36:02

Archaeologists were very surprised at their new mosaic find in the ruins of Pompeii

29/07/19 18:31:29

The Weeping Angels are still about so beware

23/07/19 20:18:56

pussy in boots

15/07/19 15:51:12

I'm here to watch Andre Rieu play Tuskanini

11/07/19 22:44:36

Bollywood's remake of The Red Weed from "War of the Worlds" album

09/07/19 20:15:32

"Dear Euromillions god - it's my turn and these are my last funds in the world so please look kindly on my numbers"

07/07/19 21:24:35

Not impressed with Lego's memorial to John McCririck

06/07/19 12:38:03

Dave Bedford wasn't too impressed with his waxwork dummy at Madame Tussaud's

05/07/19 20:15:32

the new IFAW-approved Grand National was not a great hit with the punters

30/06/19 9:26:28

The mirror reflection movement act needed a great many more rehearsals before they presented it to audiences

29/06/19 12:40:50

What's in the bucket?, what's in the bucket? Just let me see!

28/06/19 20:11:05

Make America Grate Again

28/06/19 20:07:59

Only in America ?

28/06/19 20:04:31

Don't fancy yours much, mate

27/06/19 13:19:54

And that, class, is a pictorial definition of what is termed Catch-21. Next time in Psychiatric Medicine, we shall progress to another well-known situation.

22/06/19 14:37:32

I've gone off men with a ponytail

22/06/19 14:12:28

Tamara Press on her training regime

22/06/19 14:01:01

Chanel's new range was sure to be a hit with the male population

16/06/19 22:46:40

(Cat) Bugger feeding the 5000, feed me

16/06/19 22:35:47

If you are red/green colour blind this blank picture makes no sense. A Blue square and a grey ghost?

14/06/19 20:29:25

That kid may have cured himself, but *I* can now see dead people

14/06/19 20:27:33

Cadet Boredov wasn't fond of parading to the right of Cadet Sleepitov

12/06/19 19:05:11

Darling, have you been using the car's steering wheel with your knees again?

04/06/19 18:32:05

With his little brother at the foot of the bed, Rufus was wondering what the bribe would be to stop him telling mother about his new girlfriend's sleepover.

03/06/19 20:15:42

Bill and Ben were proud to appear in front of the LGBT banner

29/05/19 16:46:19

George Lazenby's stunt doubles from On Her Majesty's Secret Service enjoying some free time before shooting begins.

28/05/19 20:34:52

"Sorry, what is ComiCon?"

25/05/19 13:28:06

Nice legs, shame about the boat race

25/05/19 13:26:48

The original manufacturers decided that the 3-pin plug and socket needed a re-design after poor initial trials and the death of several old people who were not quick enough to remove their fingers

25/05/19 13:25:25

Alice pretended to be writing left-handed to hide the fact that she was trying to sleep off the hangover from hell

22/05/19 22:32:01

A couple of days ago, I got 'friendly' with the chef at a barbecue and now I think that I am missing a rib or two. Do you have any painkillers?

20/05/19 22:31:46

No, I don't think it's a mirror either

20/05/19 22:27:37

New Russian hand-held multi-rocket launcher undergoes testing

20/05/19 18:22:48

Where the f**k is Biafra?

19/05/19 22:11:03

Brillo pads now come in all shapes and sizes, up to XXXXL

18/05/19 13:21:30

the TV version of Tonka v Matchbox racing was being eagerly awaited

17/05/19 20:22:37

The modern version of putting a tiger in your tank seems to have fallen short of the original concept

17/05/19 20:21:04

Pythagoras knew there was a theorem here somewhere, if only he could piece it together in his mind

16/05/19 22:13:52

The local sub-aqua club rehearsing for their version of Michael Jackson's Thriller video.

14/05/19 22:38:16

Offspring of the Jackson Five with The Spice Girls

13/05/19 18:28:07

Direwolves didn't look *that* fierce to Daenerys

12/05/19 8:09:49

"Control to Buzz Lightyear - ATTACK now"

12/05/19 8:08:48

Gulliver easily dealt with the army units sent to intercept him

12/05/19 8:06:44

Demonstration of the letter 'L' in the new mirror-image semaphore scheme.

09/05/19 22:51:35

"Look mum a yellow tarantula"

03/05/19 19:56:41

wear the fox hat

02/05/19 14:20:47

🎵 You took the words right out of my mouth 🎵

01/05/19 22:18:30

crossing the picket line held no worries for Arthur Scargill's mother

30/04/19 16:27:33

And tonight on "Blue Planet", we feature a type of zebra, a pair of calves and a new, as yet un-catalogued species

29/04/19 20:36:53

With the Millenium Falcon full, Jabba The Hutt had to find alternative transport

28/04/19 18:09:29

"Don't tell him Pike"

27/04/19 13:06:41

From somewhere down in the sewers the faint sounds of the tune "Blue Moon" could be heard

26/04/19 20:44:59

Will this do to replace the "Spirit of Ecstasy"?

26/04/19 20:39:50

Voyeurism, Santa-style

26/04/19 20:37:30

The aftermath of the nuclear explosion was not very surprising to the scientific community in the office, but they couldn't be found to verify their opinion.

25/04/19 12:25:15

"Renee, you have forgotten the sticks of celery" said Yvette

23/04/19 18:34:31

muffler

20/04/19 15:11:38

Scary Spice's gran thought her gift would help heal the rift with Geri

18/04/19 17:43:44

"and this, dear granddaughter, is where men keep their brains"

18/04/19 16:21:22

The village symphonia couldn't afford the cannons to make the 1812 Overture sound as it should so they took up the local blacksmith's offer of help

17/04/19 20:32:29

Caption.me moves on to anagram.me

16/04/19 20:28:34

Emilia Clarke wasn't too sure where the storyline of Daenerys Targaryen was leading but, hey, the pay is good, and the dragons' replacement wasn't CGI generated, so acting was easier.

16/04/19 17:36:16

1970's 'electric socks', witch-style

16/04/19 17:17:42

Mrs May hoped that her choice of costume would sit well with the EU leaders on this auspicious October date.

16/04/19 17:16:17

(Google:) Sorry, no results found for "Bloody difficult woman"

16/04/19 17:09:37

Grimalkin, you come down this instant and bring that eye of newt with you. She's not a *real* witch so her spells will not work

16/04/19 16:41:41

Palm Pilot

15/04/19 20:18:33

Unaware that he was getting close to Chernobyl's restricted boundary, Ivan kept reading the article about Three Mile Island

15/04/19 20:16:31

Betty was now getting bored after hanging around the guillotine all day.

15/04/19 19:01:45

Scientists have confirmed that obesity does not seem to be restricted to humans

13/04/19 17:09:05

In The Land of The Giants, Scalextric was a live action pastime

13/04/19 12:50:38

Sarge, you may want to send some paramedics to the mosh pit at the James Last concert

12/04/19 18:51:37

Young John Cage's oscilloscope seemed to suggest ideas to him.

11/04/19 20:16:37

A.D. 2929. The High Priestesses of the Ann Summers religious cult.

11/04/19 13:49:30

Returning from the OAP Dance Class, Fred couldn't get the Hokey Cokey out of his mind.

10/04/19 17:02:50

Having already walked under the painter's unstable ladder, Bert decided to go back and remonstrate with the man.

10/04/19 16:47:22

Son of Robin Day

08/04/19 22:43:32

Davros decided that the initial design of the Dalek needed some modifications

08/04/19 18:22:58

Dentures 'R' us

05/04/19 22:49:29

... of useless, pointless road signs

05/04/19 22:46:19

This white emulsion paint goes so very well with the car's colour

05/04/19 22:43:16

The auditions for the live version of The Lion King were disrupted by the arrival of the monsoon season

04/04/19 22:31:26

The latest Playboy centrefold left a lot to be desired, even with a description of "wet pussy"

04/04/19 22:29:20

Jorge, the "Amazing Amazon Tributary Map Man" is introduced to the public.

04/04/19 12:28:11

Bert wasn't too sure about the fried egg cure for his psoriasis

03/04/19 20:00:57

The village Ventriloquism Society pictured during their rehearsal of their forthcoming play "Gottle Of Geer"

03/04/19 18:49:50

Emmett Brown's first attempt at Going Back To The Future wasn't the great success that he had hoped for.

02/04/19 20:27:01

Well, if Anna Wintour can look stupid at a fashion show, then so can all *my* creations

31/03/19 20:11:50

... and that children, is how I met your mother

31/03/19 20:08:11

Sergeant James did not think that the army's new semaphore replacement would ever catch on.

23/01/19 16:09:36

Hypocrite! What do you mean close my legs because it looks disgusting?

06/07/18 18:51:01