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Oscar Pistorius latest escape attempt.
Oscar Pistorius latest escape attempt. photo | portfolio
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James Lennox Vote score: 1750James Lennox

Oscar Pistorius' latest escape attempt.

10/04/19 13:07:25

 1
It's no mean feet --Mr Dome
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6571Mr Dome

When you are watching porn and wanking so hard your knob comes off in your hand

10/04/19 12:15:14

 5
What's the most sensitive part of your body when you're waatching porn??Your ears -listening for the missus getting out of bed.. --stone face
Mark England Vote score: 14791Mark England

"Bloody kids! What have I told you about drawing on my chessboard?"

10/04/19 12:08:30

 
Mr. Toad Vote score: 1738Mr. Toad

The Duncan Goodhew Jukebox Repair Service

10/04/19 15:12:14

 6
No hairm done, Karyn --Mr Dome
Molly R Vote score: 874Molly R

Radiation from the television had already destroyed his neck, hands and feet, but now he blocked it with his iPad.

10/04/19 12:00:05

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 555Sam Cass

"Where's your neck, mate?"

10/04/19 13:55:22

 
stone face Vote score: 4030stone face

On the planet Penis Legs the Penisleggians pray to their master Oblong Cassidy. "Oh mighty Cassidy, I offer you this pencil so you might sharpen it and then I can do my homework."...The end.

10/04/19 13:14:41

 4
Sorry for your loss. Sounds like you gave them a great send-off. --Karyn Harrison
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8028Vanessa the Guesser

As the weather seemed to be perking up, Bob the Burglar ditched his invisibility cloak in favour of his invisibility scarf.

10/04/19 12:07:49

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18892John Glover

Colin was determined to get into his wife's handbag.

10/04/19 13:28:14

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1750James Lennox

"Point the remote at me dicklegs. No, not the ceiling you featureless moron, point it at me," said the smart TV.

10/04/19 12:51:05

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5608Chris Keegan

Banksy reveals himself in a self portrait.

10/04/19 12:29:53

 
Mark England Vote score: 14791Mark England

"We've been together for nearly 15 years now and I think it's time to make a commitment. So T.V...Will you marry me?"

10/04/19 12:09:31

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3994Dave Bryan

Badly Drawn Boy quits the music business and gets a real job.

10/04/19 12:06:01

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8028Vanessa the Guesser

No matter how large, someone somewhere will want a picture of your camel toes.

10/04/19 12:04:40

 
The Wolf Vote score: 2412The Wolf

Portuguese Police have released an artist’s impression of a man they’d like to speak to in connection with a number of armed robberies. He’s described as a black male, overweight with a beard and long hair.

10/04/19 12:00:40

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 808Spycenwolf

IKEA presents the Hamnøy, a smart speaker that will annoy you with high-pitched noises until you have perfected your proposal technique.

10/04/19 16:09:38

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 1714Crunchy Chords

Stick welder ahead

10/04/19 15:29:28

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2309Trace Sarge

"I'm stumped not got a clue what he's up to"

10/04/19 14:33:33

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 555Sam Cass

"Please mind the gap."

10/04/19 14:02:22

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 555Sam Cass

🎵 "Nants ingonyama...!"🎵

10/04/19 14:01:30

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 275Gavin Smithers

Some people say that Theresa May's robotic manner may not help as she delivers her Brexit extension request to the faceless EU negotiators.

10/04/19 13:39:39

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 754Scrappy Doo

Redbox, will you marry me?

10/04/19 13:12:32

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29238Tony Edwards

Fridge magnet

10/04/19 13:03:08

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1750James Lennox

After losing both feet, one arm, and his penis in a nasty accident, Percy prayed at the altar for a miracle. Unfortunately his vision had also been impaired, and the McDonald's drivethrough could only offer him small fries.

10/04/19 13:03:02

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29238Tony Edwards

Tennis for Two

10/04/19 12:25:02

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1817Stu Dent

Neck-less Persons

10/04/19 12:22:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2690Stephen Bean

Getting that facebook video of your best friend and his thin girlfriend farting when they try to touch their toes.

10/04/19 12:09:22

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35636Welsh Rarebit

Speaker phone

10/04/19 12:05:16

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 6571Mr Dome

Cock a leg

10/04/19 12:00:23

 
The Wolf Vote score: 2412The Wolf

Kneel arm strong

10/04/19 12:00:05

 
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