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"This week, on Taking a Selfie Using a Galaxy Note 7..."
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Michael Winner Vote score: 22130Michael Winner

"This week, on 'Taking a Selfie Using a Galaxy Note 7'..."

15/06/19 12:55:33

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5723Hercules Rockefeller

"Dave, I think the marshmallow is done now."

15/06/19 12:14:37

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 533Zak Toby1998

Peter looked up an old flame.

15/06/19 12:05:29

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 3903Stephen Bean

"Wish that bloody Gulliver wouldn't keep dropping his matches."

15/06/19 12:01:04

 
The Wolf Vote score: 3833The Wolf

Hot Rod

15/06/19 12:00:27

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6215Chris Keegan

"It's a little embarrassing doctor. Whenever I get an erection I get this intense burning sensation"

15/06/19 12:00:11

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19305John Glover

"Bloody spiders."

15/06/19 12:28:25

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9321Neil Mackenzie

The Phantom Glass Blower of old London Town.

15/06/19 22:09:47

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2593James Lennox

"Remember that guy who used to light his farts at parties? He's a plumber now."

15/06/19 15:52:23

 2
I think this happens a lot to be honest and more often than people might realise or admit to. You will probably find that many plumbers used to be fart entertainers --Mr Dome
stone face Vote score: 4807stone face

"Well the doctor said the only way to deal with my over flatulent behind, was to have this pipe fitted up my jacksy, and to burn off any excess methane.

15/06/19 15:49:38

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29752Tony Edwards

Hellend

15/06/19 12:37:51

 
The Wolf Vote score: 3833The Wolf

“Carl, I’m sure the Moth will just fly out if you leave it”

15/06/19 12:00:39

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 3903Stephen Bean

"Doctor my shaft feels like it's on fire."

15/06/19 12:00:28

 
larry G. Vote score: 1343larry G.

"No damn way I'm sticking this down my throat-I don't care how much America's Got Talent pays!"

15/06/19 18:37:24

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5559Glyn Evans

Make the light bulb first, then change it.

15/06/19 14:10:54

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 22130Michael Winner

Somehow, I don't think that 'extreme stunt golf' will catch on.

15/06/19 12:57:02

 
Molly R Vote score: 1016Molly R

I wish I hadn't visited that young lady in Amsterdam, let alone boasted about the length of my equipment

15/06/19 12:32:58

 
The Wolf Vote score: 3833The Wolf

"When I said I wanted a firestick for my birthday..."

15/06/19 12:07:51

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 8780Vanessa the Guesser

Pinocchio insisted on being cremated.

15/06/19 12:01:26

 
larry G. Vote score: 1343larry G.

"Yup, this should be just about the right amount of flame to light great grandpa's birthday cake candles."

15/06/19 18:43:29

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5084Dave Bryan

Norfolk lamplighter out on his rounds

15/06/19 16:53:07

 
Richard  Bottom Vote score: 32Richard Bottom

"The spectacle reminded him of his last marriage"

15/06/19 16:38:45

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 2443Stu Dent

Cue the pyrotechnics

15/06/19 14:31:35

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5084Dave Bryan

Although his ex had mains electricity, he was still carrying a torch for her.

15/06/19 14:17:16

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6215Chris Keegan

"I think this is the waiter with your Sambuca love, you did say you wanted a large one didn't you?"

15/06/19 13:55:01

 
The Wolf Vote score: 3833The Wolf

"WOW, that guy is HOT! Seriously, check out the arson it"

15/06/19 13:30:02

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7113Mr Dome

Blow me

15/06/19 13:24:22

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7113Mr Dome

'UGGH! MAKE FIRE!'

15/06/19 13:18:37

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6215Chris Keegan

Dave, when I said make sure you raise a glass for the toast......

15/06/19 13:05:52

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29752Tony Edwards

"You're Fired!"

15/06/19 12:59:38

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2461Trace Sarge

"Take that and relight my fire"

15/06/19 12:31:33

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20833Ian Skelding

Torchwood

15/06/19 12:17:55

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29752Tony Edwards

Fiery Jack

15/06/19 12:07:24

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 533Zak Toby1998

Fireballs

15/06/19 12:04:35

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 533Zak Toby1998

Nice ball control

15/06/19 12:00:41

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36568Welsh Rarebit

I see that Eddie the Eagle has a new hobby.

15/06/19 12:00:26

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36568Welsh Rarebit

Charlie Potter and the Goblet of Fire

15/06/19 12:00:07

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 3903Stephen Bean

Fahrenheight

15/06/19 12:00:06

 
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