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"This week, on Taking a Selfie Using a Galaxy Note 7..."
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Michael Winner Vote score: 23536Michael Winner

"This week, on 'Taking a Selfie Using a Galaxy Note 7'..."

15/06/19 11:55:33

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7269Hercules Rockefeller

"Dave, I think the marshmallow is done now."

15/06/19 11:14:37

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 533Zak Toby1998

Peter looked up an old flame.

15/06/19 11:05:29

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

"Wish that bloody Gulliver wouldn't keep dropping his matches."

15/06/19 11:01:04

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9439The Wolf

Hot Rod

15/06/19 11:00:27

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9937Chris Keegan

"It's a little embarrassing doctor. Whenever I get an erection I get this intense burning sensation"

15/06/19 11:00:11

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21121John Glover

"Bloody spiders."

15/06/19 11:28:25

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11234Neil Mackenzie

The Phantom Glass Blower of old London Town.

15/06/19 21:09:47

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6828James Lennox

"Remember that guy who used to light his farts at parties? He's a plumber now."

15/06/19 14:52:23

 2
I think this happens a lot to be honest and more often than people might realise or admit to. You will probably find that many plumbers used to be fart entertainers --Mr Dome
stone face Vote score: 8329stone face

"Well the doctor said the only way to deal with my over flatulent behind, was to have this pipe fitted up my jacksy, and to burn off any excess methane.

15/06/19 14:49:38

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32911Tony Edwards

Hellend

15/06/19 11:37:51

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9439The Wolf

“Carl, I’m sure the Moth will just fly out if you leave it”

15/06/19 11:00:39

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

"Doctor my shaft feels like it's on fire."

15/06/19 11:00:28

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

"No damn way I'm sticking this down my throat-I don't care how much America's Got Talent pays!"

15/06/19 17:37:24

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7160Glyn Evans

Make the light bulb first, then change it.

15/06/19 13:10:54

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23536Michael Winner

Somehow, I don't think that 'extreme stunt golf' will catch on.

15/06/19 11:57:02

 
Molly R Vote score: 2287Molly R

I wish I hadn't visited that young lady in Amsterdam, let alone boasted about the length of my equipment

15/06/19 11:32:58

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9439The Wolf

"When I said I wanted a firestick for my birthday..."

15/06/19 11:07:51

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13630Vanessa the Guesser

Pinocchio insisted on being cremated.

15/06/19 11:01:26

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

"Yup, this should be just about the right amount of flame to light great grandpa's birthday cake candles."

15/06/19 17:43:29

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 12159Dave Bryan

Norfolk lamplighter out on his rounds

15/06/19 15:53:07

 
Richard  Bottom Vote score: 33Richard Bottom

"The spectacle reminded him of his last marriage"

15/06/19 15:38:45

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4738Stu Dent

Cue the pyrotechnics

15/06/19 13:31:35

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 12159Dave Bryan

Although his ex had mains electricity, he was still carrying a torch for her.

15/06/19 13:17:16

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9937Chris Keegan

"I think this is the waiter with your Sambuca love, you did say you wanted a large one didn't you?"

15/06/19 12:55:01

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9439The Wolf

"WOW, that guy is HOT! Seriously, check out the arson it"

15/06/19 12:30:02

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10557Mr Dome

Blow me

15/06/19 12:24:22

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10557Mr Dome

'UGGH! MAKE FIRE!'

15/06/19 12:18:37

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9937Chris Keegan

Dave, when I said make sure you raise a glass for the toast......

15/06/19 12:05:52

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32911Tony Edwards

"You're Fired!"

15/06/19 11:59:38

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2566Trace Sarge

"Take that and relight my fire"

15/06/19 11:31:33

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23379Ian Skelding

Torchwood

15/06/19 11:17:55

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32911Tony Edwards

Fiery Jack

15/06/19 11:07:24

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 533Zak Toby1998

Fireballs

15/06/19 11:04:35

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 533Zak Toby1998

Nice ball control

15/06/19 11:00:41

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

I see that Eddie the Eagle has a new hobby.

15/06/19 11:00:26

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Charlie Potter and the Goblet of Fire

15/06/19 11:00:07

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13210Stephen Bean

Fahrenheight

15/06/19 11:00:06

 
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