Not the Perch he wanted!

Kingfisher - "Bloody typical"
Fish - "Lets have some hush lads, the plan seems to be working"

Oh no, that's a bad sign.

"Sod it, I'm off to McDonalds!"

The council had forgotten the basic fact that birds can't read.

The Kingfisher decided to write to the European parliament on the grounds of discrimination.

It says "No Fishing", but what's the first thing the gamekeeper sees? A 'king fisher!

bugger, better just get a takeaway.

"Actually I'm vegetarian!"

FucKingfishermen.

After reading the sign, Dave put down his rod, picked up his rifle and went kingfisher hunting instead.

Exiled monarch.

Darn! What a load of carp!

Fishing on the fly.

Not that old line again.

"Jermain...chuck me the Dictionary"

Actually, there's only sturgeon around here, so I'm the only one who can fish

"£24.50 for a naffin licence and now this"

The Kingfisher thought this was unfair as he never planned to steal anybody's internet identity.

The swimming pool people had to add to their list of "No bombing, no petting...."

Peter ya bollox thought Paul after been caught out again with the old super glue trick.

But surely that doesn't apply to royalty?

No, it's not "Infoshing" - so Harry has the rest of the thirty seconds to guess today's Countdown conundrum