A souvenir from Tel Aviv - the DIY circumcisor.

Available from all good chopping channels.

Mums and Dads... Are your kids tired of that old pet Guinea Pig running around the house?

Bill listens to Chopin in the kitchen.

 1

And after inserting the extra large butt plug, you too can have a smile like mine.

comments (total: 1)

04

Dear oh dear - butt I expect it was just dashed off without analising the spelling. (Suspect later insertion of a tee in the butt was satisfying.)

Graeme Crawford

19/03/10
08:57am

This was me before I started the slap chop diet

Don't be an overballs.
Pimp your gimp with SlapChop.
Designed to tame your dragon.

"Before I used this to bring more veg into my diet, I ate so much crap that my wife called me Slop Chap. She's with Marc now, she's happy, the kids call him dad, and I... I have the Slap Chop."

Offered at a discount to Las Vegas customers who want to play dice.

i,ve sold three wanna make it four my number is xxxxxxxxx

Look! You can even use the slap chop while you play XBOX Live!

Mums and Dads... Are your kids tired of that old pet Guinea Pig running around the house?

"OK my little lambs,come to Daddy!"

The Health and Safety Executive demanded a different approach to the shower scene in the 'Psycho' remake.

Vern felt uneasy when the director told him that in the next segment, he had to mince until it hurt.

Hank thought back to that day, those paint fumes, that vision, and felt so lucky that George Foreman had chosen him.

The focus group had recommended that the Happy Slapping Chopper be given a more streamlined name before going on sale in the UK.

"And that's not all! Order today and I'll throw in my true blue stay-clean apron, the Hate Your Mess Pinafore."

Shortly thereafter deaf/blind Larry started a campaign for the braille labelling of fleshlights.

Slap Chop - First choice for men with rapist's eyes.

With the slap chop dicing your food at an amazing 1000dB, and with your (optional) ear protectors in, you'll swear it's probably not even on.

BBC special effects dept find prototype dalek model from 1960's

"Ok guys, 50 minutes, 10lbs of carrots, let's chop!"

Shampoo and conditioner? Take 2 bottles into the shower? Not me. I just want to chop and go.

So crap Jamie Oliver will not even endorse it.

Thankfully not naked chef

in the background Terry's flatmates calls to him "have you seen my budgie Terr, he is not in his cage."

Derek's profile picture on Match.com attracted a lot of slappers with cocaine problems.

Bill McLaren endorsed Slap Chop's rugby aggression-creating properties as better than Deep Heat.

Pink Keith Floyd

No time to apply slap to your chops, feel naked without your rouge? Cut corners with Slap Chop, the one shot spray gun.

Dave liked his 'Left Side Of The Fringe Cutter' so much he bought the company.

meet my wife.

playing on the headphones - "breathe in breathe out, breathe in breathe out"

With the joke fingers around it, nobody even realised Long John had only one hand

The British Army reports that land mines are getting even better camouflaged

Chopper Harris would soon cut you down to size.

Before becoming a chef John use to blow up old chimneys.

 1

Unfortunately, the Reverend Spooner thought he was buying a cure for his STD at the Clap Shop

comments (total: 1)

00

Could have done great things with that spoonerism

Paul (Muff) Diver

13/04/10
12:40am

When you need help beating the meat