Captains Log.

In its fully-reclined position, BA's new flatbed loo was a godsend for nervous and tired First Class passengers.

The hall of residence's new toilet was designed to accommodate all head sizes.

"We're going to keep our brand new loo fresh and clean. No whiffs, no butts."

Pimp my ride, Stephen Hawking special.

New Nintendo Wii

The "tooth brushing" feature doesn't get much use.

You should see the men's room.

There are rumours of discontented cast and crew on the set of Transformers 3 when the latest decepticon is revealed.

A sophisticated sound-system warns queuers it's best to leave it for ten.

Motionless? Need to get moving? Let Sat Lav do the job for you.

The delux model had the variable speed barnacle remover as standard.

OK, you adjust the spring in the seat, and I'll get Q off the ceiling

Bond suspected Dr No had set an ingenious trap for him ...

"Whatever you do don't press the red button"

another Steve Jobs design.

the new wee will sell by the crap load

Still in plaster from his lift shaft plunge, Stirling Moss' week goes from bad to worse as he accidentaly flushes himself down the hospital toilet.

Robocop - We've updated your charging dock!

Small print on underside of toilet seat
"In Memory of old Ted, he sat here and enjoyed the view most mornings"

It features "shat-nav"...

It's com-poo-turd controlled...

I heard the Superbowl was an amazing spectacle....

A hightech medium through which to dispense your crap. Nothing like Caption Competition at all.

'2001,a waste Odessey'

"Now here's something I'm particularly proud of 007."

Sheila was seriously injured when she mistook the ejector seat for the flush control.

Aircraft loo design had certainly moved on, but at bottom its simple purpose remained that of the old jobby-wheecher.

The designer of this toilet was in more ways than 1 taking the piss.

Hardware for the new iWipe app.

Anne had this automatic lid close device fitted as her husband always forgot to put the seat down.

The Eric Cantona zero gravity loo - it stops the sh*t hitting the fan.

The election slogan 'LUV A TORY' was wide open to hurtful, moat-cleaning irony. (Sh*t-stirring, some said.)

La-Z-Boy's next product.

The lidless brown eye

Beyoncés new video "If you like it why don't you put a lid on it?"

Peeping Tom's wall-mounted camcorder was so poorly disguised that, except for the odd exhibitionist, nobody had ever actually used the damned toilet.

Ever since switching to a high fibre diet, Ron had upgraded to a diesel powered flush to cope with the fallout.

After a morning poring over the instruction manual, Shirley was delighted when she worked out how to activate the Seat Left Up alarm.

Downing Street loo for instantly covering up Brown eruptions.

The mistake Gordan (now recovering in A & E) made was to hit the shredder button while still in the seated position.

As Henry was feeling flush, he splashed out on new bathroom furnishings. But when a guest told him he'd throne his money away and should only have spent a penny, he felt a bit pissed off.

No, I went behind the bushes and had a Wee Remote instead

So, were you having a multi-user games session on the Internet, or were you playing with yourself in there?

Pretty far from being bog standard.