"Nurse, could you get the duck out of here."

Nurse Mary just loved her new anal thermometer cover. It was a real ice breaker with the patients.

Dinner was Peeking Duck.

"Nurse,the pate I ordered for lunch is somewhat undercooked"

Rob was suffering from a strange Mallard-y

On the private ward, the duvets were real eider down.

 1

I'm sorry nurse, I think you misheard me. I said I wanted a ****

comments (total: 1)

13

Not a million miles away from Mon 11.40am. One gets a vote the other doesn't, strange.

A Muffled T

31/03/10
11:12am

Duck: "Tickle your arse with a feather."
Patient coming round: "Sorry, what did you say?"
Duck: "Particularly nasty weather."

Bruce had been waiting all day for the flying doctor to arrive.

All I ever hear is "Daffy Duck this and Donald Duck that" I worked 2 jobs to put myself through medical school and I don't get as much as a pat on the back.

When Harry asked a nurse for another eiderdown, he didn't mean he wanted a depressed duck

Ian was out for a duck having received a full toss to the googlies.

Hah! That would show everybody who said Julie was only having a phantom pregnancy.

you should try pyscho therapy sir you just gone quackers

i cant belive it im in hospital with a human growth

John didn't care what his doctor had to say. He thought he was just a quack.

good news mr smith you have a clean bill of health

"Worms!"

"Silly duck. They're my fingers."

"No, I was diagnosing you."

The novel DIY interlaced-fingers technique was saving the NHS a fortune in wound closure costs.

A bird on the ward is worth flu at a push.

Obama rocks Health Reform critics who claimed the NHS was a turkey.

To satisfy his cravings for Chinese food whilst in hospital, Harry Christened his toy Chris P. Duck

Having received an invoice from the doctor, Mike was ready with his response.

One is an ill-treated dirty article that was clean and not in a too bad condition before coming into hospital, the other is a toy duck.

Being a really cold winter this year, ducks are coming indoors and patients are connected to the radiator.

Even a small NHS bill is unacceptable.

"Whaddya mean - cannulae an egg!!"

Homme mallard

Man-Drake

Roger: "Listen, I'm sure you are well-behaved but there's been a misunderstanding. I didn't tell the nurse last night that I needed a good duck, OK."

Sorry sir, we are out of leaches so this duck will have to suffice.

The ducktor was a specialist in people feeling down.

Kevin began to suspect his doctor was really only a quack

Derek was pleased something useful could be done with his big toe after the amputation