Ig-loo.

Clarence Birdseye gets an idea for a range of frozen pees

Polar ice crap

Henry had phoned the plumber in June

‘Arseicles’

People in ice houses shouldn't froze thrones

Iggy Plop

global warming my arse

Be Careful - Diahorrea is one of the many symptoms of a severe cold

Blue moon.

Unfortunately, Grandpa mistook the new outside freezer for a return to the convenience of his childhood

At least it'll save on a coffin

Frozen ass-ets

Scentists have discovered that over an average lifetime, you will age 3 years whilst sitting on the loo. Thats where the all new Cryo-loo comes in.

George Michael came prepared for the wait however grossly underestimated the weather conditions.

Headlines: Explosion at liquid nitrogen plant, towns-people left in the lurch.

the 'cold seat' effect has reached new extremes this winter...

after several complaints health and safety eventually shut down the ice hotel.

What do you mean, we've won the anual ice sculpture contest. I thought this was the entrance to the A&E.

When I got the job of Royal Equerry, I didn't realise it meant warming the ruddy seat for Princess Anne

The Stormtrooper had never known it get so cold so quickly

You'd better go and see why Gramps has stopped singing

Doctor Who was taken completely by surprise when The Tardis landed in Antarctica

"I'm pretty sure this isn't what Mr. Disney had in mind."

A shit off the old block

Fortunately Charles was the convivial sort and could always produce an icebreaker.

B-leak House

What Captain Oates really said: "I'm just going outside and I have the Times."

Nod to previous

Sadly, the Turkish crescent had not signified the expected steam bath.

When Uncle John went bankrupt, his assets were frozen

OK, we'll give Katie Price another few houra and then we'll go and see if she's OK

The Telegraph certainly made a rivetting read, and Uncle Charles was glued to his seat

After the cold snap, Frank knew he'd soon be performing a cold snap of his own.

Maybe we should have paid the supplement for an en-suite room on our visit to see Santa in Lapland

..and in other news, in the Antarctic today the body of Captain Lawrence Oates was found.

Snowball warming

I would have been OK. I'm reading my copy of Heat magazine.

No2 below freezing.

And amazingly, none of the kids chose to sit on Santa’s lap in the Christmas Grotto.

The lesser known play, "the iceman plopit"

Tiger knew he was in for a frosty reception when he got home but even he thought this was ridiculous.

Hagen just wasn't copin' at the climate change summit.

After many months of intricate excavation, Paleontologists are astounded at the degree of preservation of the 4’000 year old ice mummy.

Michael Fish should never have gone out in his swimming trunks

It serves you right for taking all the Sunday supplements in there to read

Poor Uncle Harry didn't know it was frozen over, and died whilst holding his breath and waiting for the plop

Christmas crappers

Huddersfield still relatively unaffected by global warming

North Alaskan passage blocked yet again.