"Hey, I don't mean to boast, but let's just say they put a 'choking hazard' sticker on my box".

Craig suggested they take things to the sofa; he didn't much like floorplay.

Unfortunately they never got any further as neither of them were able to make the first move.

"Do you have protection?"
"Yes, I have no genitalia"

He thought it was all over when she pulled his string and heard….“Hi, I’m Sergio…and I only have a three-inch Penis”.

But it was definitely all over when he pulled hers and heard….”So have I”.

”THUNDERBIRDS ARE G….”
“Hang on, dad, give us another ten minutes”

So near - yet sofa.

Look out the window now. There's that perv from next door looking over the fence again. Notice how you only ever see one hand.

So you're an air-crash investigator. No stranger to a black box then?

Latest DFS ad aimed at ethnic minorities.

Since meeting Craig, Naomi was no longer at risk of spending life on the shelf.

*Risque anyone? Why not...*

As much fun as they were having, they both preferred playing with children.

"I want to have sex, but there's way too much friction between us."

Rubber Johnny

The Craig David doll could never get the Naomi Campbell doll pregnant, as he always came in a different box.

"could you lie on the couch with your legs wide open Carmella?"
"mmm why Mike you wanna make love to me yeah?"
"no i was gonna buy red leather cushions to go with this suite and i want to see how they would look"

We're so pretty oh so pretty vacant.

Stereotype not included.

Jordan and Pete..... New range of Sex dolls!

I need you about as much as a fish needs a bicycle...

Michael Jackson was dissapointed in Heaven. It wasnt what he thought as everyone else was plastic as well

too fat for Karl Lagerfeld she ended up in my lap for comfort

That's what i call an 'action' man

"Hey baby, wanna hear a catchphrase? Give it a pull and see what happens".

"Be careful, I've been feeling a bit stiff lately"

The room did have a bed…but their session was mainly En-suite.

Their togetherness would bring a tear to a glass eye...

Craig David rapped by standards agency for inappropriate line of toys. His haircut was all wrong.

It's amazing what editing can do for films, as the world of pornography truly is all plastic.

Stuck on each other, they also worried about the sofa suite's adhesive properties.

BBC Educational Video…’Marrion Ette & Mannie Quin’ – The Vest Sex Guide.

Sofa - so good.

“So that’s why they call you ‘Woody’ in Toy Story".

‘Get a window!!’

Katie Price moves on and quickly finds a replacement for Peter, Alex, whoever!