With the internet down for maintenance, those who ventured outside for the first time since its inception were painfully obvious.

Field trials of The Ugly Stick appear conclusive

what do you get if you cross the flinstones with the umpa-lumpas....?

unattractive sales figures

Tactical captioneers ready to battle their way to having their post accompany the photo.

Kelsey Grammer and Bette Midler star in a low budget remake of Green Acres.

Nadal became embarrassed when his girlfriend pointed out that his prized new tennis racket did not appear to be genuine.

Mr oompah loompah belives he's found the answer to the shortage of cows milk at the chocolate factory, now all he has to do is milk her.

Contestants for the latest reality tv show hit "Britain's got Twats"

A couple of sh£$ stirrers

Mordor has lollipop men too

Unmasked store detectives show their displeasure

Stig proudly displays the ceremonial Ju-Ju paddle of his ancestors, whilst his girlfriend is slightly miffed that he wont go anywhere without that bloody spoon.

"I have swam across the mediterrainean, wrestled alligators in africa, base jumped from cliffs in the amazon and soon i am going to mount helena....... isn't that right, helena?"

"If you dont stop looking at my birds tits, I'll twat you with my ceremonial spoon. Now bugger off."

"Oh Stig your so protective"

And Bear said to eagle, Your chest sticking out will smack it back in with extra long tennis raquet!

Tim henman really let his hair down after retiring from tennis "Cmon Tim"...Tim- "Cmon then you fucking git! I'm gonna volley your bollocks into centre court."

Fantasy Conventions not material for conventional fantasies.

Sadly George came in last in the fancy dress competition as a school crossing lady

Despite losing the ability to move his face, Michael was still able to describe Christina Aguilera's new line of tanning creams as 'oarsome'.

- I know, painful isn't it?

George could feel his face going red as he realised he was about to follow through, and he didnt have pants on.

Wouldu like to lick my spoon, careful it stains skin

Wouldu like to lick my spoon, careful it stains skin