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Mauris Iocus

signed up: 1 week, 6 days ago
profile viewed: 27 time(s) this week
caption quota: 37
votes given since joining: 292
super vote quota: 0

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Just here for the quips... quid would be nice too...

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"Again, gotta say, I really appreciate you guys helping me find where I dropped my keys.

Thu 12:25:52

She was only a miner's daughter, but I found her boring.

07/01/21 15:12:22

Dan's daily regimen was rigorous yet filled with hope...

his lifelong dream that "I'm a Little Teapot," would finally become an Olympic event.

10/01/21 17:04:07

Be the teapot. --Scrijjy Doo

Oh come on! It IS gathering moss!

07/01/21 14:36:55

"Sweetheart, of course you can poop anywhere... it's France!"

Sun 12:31:30

Finally, the Politically Correct Mount Rushmore.

Sat 13:40:48

Really? These people without faces, how will they know? :-) (btw, the emoji is not meant to offend the non faced)Nah, my estimate of thirty was wrong, it's got to be more like sixty because don't most politicians have more than one f... --Glyn Evans

Scientists postulate future evolutionary adaptations, after centuries of moaning about Brexit.

Fri 13:39:13

Day 215, still plotting to destroy them all.

The dimwit dog suspects something. She'll be the first to go. Same way I got rid of the last one, destroy property, plant evidence.

This pathetic family is so beneath my dignity, killing them all will be a great service.

Fri 11:06:40

"Are you ready, Ma'am? Good. Now try to land in the lake.... and thank you for flying Ryanair"

Thu 22:23:25

"Have somebody call maintenance, it's happened again, the paint's washed off the sign at Downing Street."

Sun 0:57:25

A wise man once told me, "When everyone's hunting for poop, take the high road," in this case, the lie road. --Mauris Iocus

Carol didn't fear the danger. Beginning to angle her knees outwards... she was about to fulfill her lifelong dream of ... being a windsock.

Fri 1:47:02

"Oh calm down, Stella. Your dream of bedding Spiderman, has almost come true."

07/01/21 14:39:49

Sorry, all these tops have to come off. Too many complaints from the high rise, people can't see the chemtrails.

Sun 16:49:13

2B or not 2B, that is the caption

Sun 15:51:56

"Big Brother is watching you."

~ George Paw-well

Sat 13:49:44

Tim had a sneaking suspicion her constant nagging was having a permanent effect.

Fri 13:41:49

I told you, I have an important business meeting! Before I go in there, I need to dry out these sweat stains.

Thu 22:26:39

If you put it to your ear, you can hear the sea... shanty swearing of drunken sailors.

Wed 20:21:08

♫ "Hello from the other side...
the Spice Girls idea was mine..." ♫

Wed 18:32:08

Abandoned by fathers at merry-go-rounds, the bar was a mecca for those seeking to drown their daddy issues.

10/01/21 20:11:38

Cheers to probability!

10/01/21 17:08:39

Posing for safety sign artists, is no easy task, but Jamal was overjoyed to finally break into modelling.

08/01/21 14:05:33

"Ok good, he's finally asleep... now whip out the boob."

07/01/21 14:41:09

"It's a bit depressing, the harder we work, it all becomes increasingly pointless."

Sun 15:50:01

"Well, I'll be plucked, they've still got that hideous metal eyesore!"

"Yes, it's disgusting, but it is where we met, my love... The crap mecca for all birds in the northern hemisphere."

Sun 15:31:33

The city of fLights

Sun 15:21:07

Christmas tree harvesting by the Lilliputian Art Council.

Sun 15:18:23

Labor removes another branch of the Green Party.

Sun 12:33:09

"Ahhh.... FINALLY!"

(when the masks come off)

Fri 23:17:18

Why are both the good & bad angels on my shoulders, the same grating voice of my mother reminding me to wash behind my ears?

Fri 16:00:21

Me, each night clearing the bed of throw pillows. Thanks honey.

Fri 14:15:57

Time to rise & shine.

Fri 14:11:51

This is your Caption speaking, please stop trying to create pockets of turbulence.

Thu 22:29:08

? --Scrijjy Doo

Summer in Saskatchewan...

"Buck up guys, if you squint a bit, they look like sand dunes."

Thu 14:25:40

"NOOOOO... Dad, turbo boosting Mum's hair dryer was a TERRIBLE idea !!!"

Thu 12:34:40

The intrepid searchers continue the relentless hunt for the real OJ killer & Hillary's emails.

Thu 12:31:33

But even they have given up on the Weapons of Mass Destruction, eh? --Molly R

"Ok, so it's gentle slope, beginner's level hill. But for these day pass rates, you think they'd put in a chairlift, or at least a rope tow."

Thu 12:28:48

♫ "A little less condiments, a little more convection." ♫

Thu 2:16:26

"MENSA Society? What in the world is that? I thought the ticket said Menses Society"

Thu 1:33:15

Training brah

Thu 1:29:23

"Sir, when we caught the captioneer, he was wearing this."

"Whatever for?"

"To prove it's impossible to keep politics out of captioning, Sir."

Thu 1:18:19

"This is your Captain speaking, Ryanair flight four double zero, is ready for takeoff."

Thu 1:10:30

♫ "Sherry.. Sherry baby," ♫ Til death do us part.. I do."

Wed 20:19:03

Triggering hateful comments in ... 3 ... 2 ... 1

Wed 18:15:57

I'm guessing the odds are somewhere between V8 & WD40.

12/01/21 22:52:05

Filming on icy location, Chris had to relieve himself against a tree, almost got frostbite & was feeling a little thor.

12/01/21 22:42:31

"Ok, we're going to have to take the crayons back, and Ma'am can you please stop your kid from looking at our food with his microscope."

12/01/21 22:33:51

"Mommy, why do they put stickers on fruit?"

12/01/21 0:46:20

♫ Ground control to mucilage thumb... ♪

12/01/21 0:34:25

One for the road, Mr. Mephistopheles?

12/01/21 0:27:30

No pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, but leading the pride parade, it's a real dick magnet.

12/01/21 0:24:26

"Don't you think that's crazy? I mean, what are the chances we ALL forgot knickers?

10/01/21 22:03:18

"Seriously, in tech valley, this would rent for ten grand a month...

I shed you not."

10/01/21 17:13:55

Four pack
Of plastic stacks
Fake racks
Work from backs
Your Hidden tax
Tis Petri cracks
For this... is no vax

08/01/21 14:00:33

"Blondie, I'm about to show you the meaning of incumbent."

07/01/21 23:09:19

Well, statistically, they say, one in three is flaming.

07/01/21 15:05:50

Many bands are going eco now, check out the new Oasis album.

07/01/21 14:51:26

Sally's first attempt at a photo bomb.

07/01/21 14:33:19

last comments (total: 9)

Be the teapot.

Scrijjy Doo

10/01/21
9:50pm

comment on caption:
Dan's daily regimen was rigorous yet filled with hope...

his lifelong dream that "I'm a Little Teapot," would finally become an Olympic event. [Mauris Iocus]

Worked for Bruce Lee, for quite a while... until it became oolong

Mauris Iocus

10/01/21
10:00pm

comment on caption:
Dan's daily regimen was rigorous yet filled with hope...

his lifelong dream that "I'm a Little Teapot," would finally become an Olympic event. [Mauris Iocus]

But even they have given up on the Weapons of Mass Destruction, eh?

Molly R

Thursday
2:38pm

comment on caption:
The intrepid searchers continue the relentless hunt for the real OJ killer & Hillary's emails. [Mauris Iocus]

We're going down the list, Ma'am. Just be patient. We'll look into WMD's after, we find out what happened to Amelia Earhart, why the dinosaurs disappeared & where's Waldo.

Mauris Iocus

Thursday
5:32pm

comment on caption:
The intrepid searchers continue the relentless hunt for the real OJ killer & Hillary's emails. [Mauris Iocus]

Scrijjy Doo

Friday
12:03am

comment on caption:
This is your Caption speaking, please stop trying to create pockets of turbulence. [Mauris Iocus]

A wise man once told me, "When everyone's hunting for poop, take the high road," in this case, the lie road.

Mauris Iocus

Sunday
3:47pm

comment on caption:
"Have somebody call maintenance, it's happened again, the paint's washed off the sign at Downing Street." [Mauris Iocus]

Not quite, they've still got another thirty faces to do.

Glyn Evans

Sunday
8:21pm

comment on caption:
Finally, the Politically Correct Mount Rushmore. [Mauris Iocus]

Are you sure? Because that's very "insensitive, hurtful, offensive, phobic & triggering" for people who don't have faces.

Mauris Iocus

Sunday
8:27pm

comment on caption:
Finally, the Politically Correct Mount Rushmore. [Mauris Iocus]

Really? These people without faces, how will they know? smilie face (btw, the emoji is not meant to offend the non faced)

Nah, my estimate of thirty was wrong, it's got to be more like sixty because don't most politicians have more than one face? At least hopefully they haven't continued the sculpture on more of a sacred Lakota site. It looks more like land that's good pasture so it'll piss off the ranchers instead.

Glyn Evans

Monday
8:04am

comment on caption:
Finally, the Politically Correct Mount Rushmore. [Mauris Iocus]

Mauris Iocus

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last comments (total: 9)

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