lol

Look, I told you before, not to kiss me on my forehead.

Now, which eye is it?

20/01/21 20:41:15

Hope nobody notices the stolen Death Star plans around my neck.

03/01/21 15:26:03

lol

Dave was the last of the 3 blind mice to find the hiding spot

18/01/21 20:01:37

Betty had the wall, but finding 10 green bottles proved difficult

10/02/21 12:36:35

Next time I'll lick the soap, start foaming at the mouth

09/02/21 19:49:20

The union made it clear, the chickens don't cross the road.

08/02/21 15:13:35

This isn't a spectator sport, now get lost

30/01/21 21:48:43

After a longer than usual liquid lunch. Betty decided to sleep it off in the park, then go back to the Prince of Wales, to collect her gloves and scarf

09/02/21 18:55:24

After their last attempt, staff were under strict instructions to do a proper tribute to the NHS

12/01/21 19:53:31

The girls were so proud, they got ready in less than 3 hours.

08/01/21 13:05:44

Bernard! Bernard! Look the police have found a shit load of gold.

06/01/21 22:08:24

You've got 8 eyes and you still can't see the fly I swallowed?

06/01/21 21:55:36

Dave run!! it's a fire hazard

03/01/21 15:29:58

Poor working and safety conditions on the ship, forced the union rep' Dave to call a strike. A lot of the crew didn't believe this was a better situation.

16/02/21 16:50:01

What are you doing!

My legs are longer than hers

14/02/21 16:56:51

Todd out grew the rest of the other kids. So had to make do with being the referee and player 65 Jimmy, had been picking on him.

14/02/21 16:54:38

Dave looked on at Steve and thought, what a twat!!

13/02/21 18:24:10

Jane couldn't quite see how her husband referred to it as a high quality photography magazine, with articles of interest. However, Miss April is well toned.

13/02/21 18:13:09

A moment of dread for Betty. She knew these head torches were like her new top, too big or too tight

13/02/21 18:03:32

Betty, it's your turn to fill the photocopier toner

12/02/21 12:22:15

Betty knew that bitch Doris would find her stash of tinned fruit; she would have to spill the beans

12/02/21 12:01:15

Jodie mum's advice rang true, never leave the house without clean underwear

11/02/21 14:32:37

Jodie decided it would be best to dance for the crowd, better than being punched in the face

11/02/21 14:27:29

Hurry up and take the picture, these are heavy

09/02/21 20:03:36

When Jodie and Dave first met, they were blinded by love. Nowadays days they recreate the moment manually.

09/02/21 19:09:18

Return to sender and Not known at this address, surely the coincidence of that occurring is...

09/02/21 19:04:24

Deep down, Dave knew he was being setup

09/02/21 16:11:45

Max was getting fed-up with lockdown, after his second wash in a month

09/02/21 15:56:27

It's just one fucking thing, after another

30/01/21 21:42:28

This may count towards your 5 A Day, but it's not for me

30/01/21 19:21:23

Not impressed, Dave's girlfriend left him there

28/01/21 21:49:54

Dave had that sinking feeling, that he hasn't going to make 5-a-side

28/01/21 21:38:12

There's going to some stiff competition, to get the affection of this bird

28/01/21 12:27:19

He tried so hard, but Dave was not a good cook

25/01/21 20:13:54

It was Dave's night to cook on Come Dine with Me and his chances of winning looked bleak

25/01/21 20:05:32

Stop looking at my nuts!!

22/01/21 9:08:20

Look, for the last time, I don't work off season

21/01/21 20:28:10

Quick love, get your skates on, that dinosaur has seen us

21/01/21 20:14:41

Dave hoped his prison guards swimming trucks, wouldn't cause any resentment with the other prisoners

20/01/21 21:59:02

Bancroft thought that all was forgiven. However, the Indian team hadn't forgotten about the sandpaper

19/01/21 21:41:41

Dave was so annoyed with himself, for shaving off his moustache

19/01/21 21:22:27

Jodi, Jodi, see him over there, he told me Shergar's buried under here

12/01/21 20:15:53

Look mate, I'm seven and there are gay people in this world, deal with it

12/01/21 20:03:32

I beg you, please don't do a Bob Ross landscape version

11/01/21 20:08:01

Dave now knew his agent was lying, said it was a great photo opportunity

11/01/21 19:20:42

Donald, where's your troosers?

08/01/21 18:47:47

Dave's new car, wasn't quite the head turner he expected.

01/01/21 17:20:12

Brazen daylight robbery, of pizza shop dough

30/12/20 12:01:27

Technically, is this a crude torso truncation?

30/12/20 11:46:34

A gap in the market?

30/12/20 11:34:31

Jodie was now questioning her poor choice of footwear..

30/12/20 11:28:52