"Now which way for the shoe department!"

22/11/19 9:49:27

Even though she was the last to leave again. she was determined to get a balloon and party bag.

Sun 8:35:17

Always make sure you eat breakfast, before you leave home, even if you don't have time to dress.

15/12/19 10:12:17

" Hey Man, this grass is good!"

21/11/19 10:08:11

Hair she comes just a walking down the......

06/01/20 14:34:18

"Uh oh, another one for Santas' naughty list"

03/11/19 9:01:32

Creature Comforts

03/12/19 8:03:07

He tried to squeeze one out, but all he could do was Trump!

30/11/19 8:11:45

"say it with flowers,failing that get her a puppy!"

27/10/19 8:23:24

New Years Day Selfie!

12/12/19 6:36:36

The walk of Flame

07/12/19 8:55:16

They came prepared for the Pan-demonium

04/12/19 9:37:57

Santa- "Whos turn is it to wrap the presents"
Elf - "I'll toss you for it"

01/12/19 19:50:45

Mr Sheen

30/11/19 8:06:26

"Here's looking at you kid!"

27/10/19 7:56:22

Dirty Dancing 2

07/10/19 6:38:50

When reading the brochure, it wasn't quite the roof terrace she imagined.

01/10/19 8:11:17

They can pay for their own Bill.

Mon 2:54:54

.......it may cause them to have a Tern!

Mon 2:49:23

His wife warned him what would happen if he ate too many bananas.

Sun 8:52:49

" I got him at a melt down price"

Sun 8:38:42

And they say cats can't swim

08/01/20 9:49:22

Don't spoon the Bride

08/01/20 9:45:09

Ride a cock-sheep to Bambury Cross........

06/01/20 13:48:17

"Ice Spy, with my little eye, something beginning with P"

06/01/20 13:34:57

Still can't tell if she is a natural ginger!

06/01/20 13:27:38

He felt like the weight of the earth was on his shoulders!

14/12/19 8:21:15

Guess who ate all the Black Jelly Babies?

14/12/19 8:14:27

On the third stroke he rose again

14/12/19 8:05:25

Sweet Talk

04/12/19 9:45:08

Bananadrama!

30/11/19 7:45:01

Technical Drawing

30/11/19 7:38:13

Charge of the Bike Brigade!

27/11/19 10:00:03

Its true then, only the stuck up people shop at Sainsburys.

26/11/19 8:05:22

At least they didn't make me into a barbecue

17/11/19 9:54:27

Mothercare had a last minute reprieve, after finalising a merger with BMW.

13/11/19 9:35:23

Ring of Fire

10/11/19 10:19:59

Hail Mary, Mother of shot, aim for us sinners

10/11/19 10:13:36

Monkey Business

08/11/19 12:08:53

All this attention is exhausting, I don't want to appear ungrateful, but since ginger became trendy,
every Tom Ed and Harry wants to stroke me now!

07/11/19 6:51:17

"I saw a human do this once when he had hiccups!"

06/11/19 13:10:44

Clearly suffering from SAD (seasonal associated disorder)

06/11/19 10:03:40

"Don't mind her, catnapping, its just one of the side effects of the Menopaws you know!"

03/11/19 10:09:17

"Bring me the Doctorrrrr, ....on second thought make that a vet!"

02/11/19 8:25:37

"Thank you for the Mammories!"

02/11/19 8:01:08

Knuckle Bust-er!

02/11/19 7:57:03

They told him not to clutch at straws,but in the end he was still found clinging to Hope(s)

02/11/19 7:55:22

"The cattle are lowing the baby awakes........
"Ffs,shut up its only November!"

02/11/19 0:27:12

"Well of course its a shoulder bag, where else would you place your head"

01/11/19 6:28:27

Dave knew he was in trouble when the next Mr and Mrs question was, which dress would your wife pick to wear?

28/10/19 10:04:37

"There's gotta be a box with the body in here someone!"

01/10/19 7:58:34

Someone needs to go to specsavers

01/10/19 7:55:40

Sumo Wrestling for beginners!

30/09/19 20:11:05

Bluella de Ville!

Mon 2:59:43

"Dye your hair yourself next time" "I told you to use gloves"

Sun 8:59:26

Patient- "Doctor I've had an accident!"
Doctor- "Don't worry, you just need a few stitches, how are you with needles?"

Sun 8:15:09

Oops, one dropped stitch and he was a gonner!

Sun 0:47:32

After 6 hours in Make Up, she was feeling a bit Jaded!

07/01/20 7:35:43

They specialise in Mange Rovers!

06/01/20 13:19:13

Its her New-el look!

01/01/20 13:32:40

Doctor Who Xmas Special

01/01/20 13:31:08

Winner eats all!

01/01/20 13:18:51

The Fishermans' Challenge

01/01/20 13:17:33

"One day son this will all be yours."

31/12/19 17:06:15

Harold Pincer Book Signing 1pm Today

31/12/19 17:04:37

The hydrophonic lights finished it off nicely!

29/12/19 10:08:48

Over the shoulder key holder

29/12/19 9:57:44

"Help, I don't want to go back in"

29/12/19 9:55:20

God Breast Her Sole !

29/12/19 9:44:18

Can't get David Bowies Diamond Dogs out of my head

29/12/19 9:42:21

Solo appearance only ,Barbie currently unavailable due to plastic surgery.

15/12/19 10:00:31

He was mound to be suffering the next day.

14/12/19 8:17:08

The panic and misunderstanding set in when she said she had found the perfect ring!

14/12/19 8:01:17

"Ewe at the back, can Ewe see me!"

12/12/19 6:45:57

"Yep, they been at the carrots again"

12/12/19 6:43:10

Warnings are being circulated on social media, of the side effects of eating too many sprouts this Xmas.

12/12/19 6:34:57

Colour Blind

11/12/19 10:13:18

She hoped not to be charged for carrying .extra luggage

07/12/19 9:35:51

"look Dorothy, you made it home to Canvas!"

07/12/19 9:00:28

Special offer 50% off all ginger wigs!

07/12/19 8:53:17

Royal Re-Memororabilia!

05/12/19 12:07:29

"Did I mention I am Vegan Today".

03/12/19 8:16:09

Loving the Alien!

03/12/19 8:14:24

"Oh dear,looks like Granny will have to stay at home this Xmas".

03/12/19 7:58:11

New Haribo Mishapes

03/12/19 7:36:20

So much for the smoke screen!

02/12/19 1:55:57

Shoulda gone to specsavers

02/12/19 1:52:58

Made in China

02/12/19 1:52:34

Public Safety Awareness Video - guess whats coming next?

01/12/19 8:54:33

She could no longer take his clowning around so she grabbed the dosh and belted out of there!

01/12/19 8:35:24

His surgeon came up Trumps

30/11/19 8:08:01

Emoji Pie

30/11/19 7:41:39

Monkey see, monkey do!

30/11/19 7:34:24

His lawyer presented a plea of diminished responsibilities, due to insanity, he was clearly quackers!

29/11/19 20:43:50

Banana Boat Race

29/11/19 20:24:29

" Hey Guys, anyone interested in some premium leaf"

29/11/19 10:22:33

He was always confused about his gender, now he was just confused.

28/11/19 9:57:38

Must be fixing the roof.....garden.

28/11/19 9:55:36

She had a peaceful run

28/11/19 9:52:47

This way for the Isle of Dogs

26/11/19 8:18:59

"Why is it the man always has to take the lead"

26/11/19 8:16:48

Go Back, you forgot the hat!

26/11/19 8:10:42

She found her keys, but her glasses were PROVING hard to find

25/11/19 9:06:16

Seed Cake

25/11/19 8:07:07

Rat a cake, Rat a cake, Bakers Man......

24/11/19 8:54:03

Daughter - Do you know where can i get gluton free cakes?
Mum - Yes! I hear Waitrose A-verm-in.

24/11/19 8:14:02

Furry Cake!

24/11/19 8:01:04

Meatloaf was in for a roasting from his wife, after a fan (assisted) she had secret photos of their love child.

24/11/19 7:50:22

Her waistcoat appeared a little torte!

24/11/19 7:31:11

Itsy Witsy Teeny Weeny yellow polka lizards seen me!

23/11/19 18:36:18

Proof that most men shy away from Housework!

23/11/19 18:31:49

But the Wonderbra was invented by a man!

22/11/19 10:10:28

So why? the fluffy bits!

22/11/19 10:09:18

Pray for us sinners!

22/11/19 10:00:14

Brownies Reunion

21/11/19 10:01:08

"This ones mine he's got more flesh on him"

21/11/19 9:59:22

Although their break up was amicable, the couple were having trouble splitting their arse-etts.

17/11/19 9:50:33

"Looks like we're on our own today, I did try the Homeless Shelter,but all the humans had been taken already"

14/11/19 9:10:18

The Northern Brights

13/11/19 23:41:30

She aimed to see his point!

12/11/19 8:21:38

"I told you I don't want to play Mummys and Daddys"

12/11/19 8:15:45

"With my finger and your tongue, the skys the limit"

12/11/19 7:38:16

It was said that he had a bright future ahead of him!

12/11/19 7:28:36

This caption is Virgin on the ridiculous

12/11/19 7:26:50

It was just his luck to have come from millions of light years away and landed in Essex.

12/11/19 7:19:24

"I am not sure Mother Superior would approve Sister"

11/11/19 14:10:43

A Face only a Mother could Love!

11/11/19 14:07:26

The Red Hole of Calcutta

10/11/19 10:17:42

Fruit of the Loom

08/11/19 12:05:54

Rainbow Warrior!

06/11/19 13:14:52

"sorry i didn't get here sooner,my last patient was very pawly."

06/11/19 9:55:46

"Shakin that Arse"

03/11/19 12:19:51

"All things bright and beautiful ........la la la, la la"

02/11/19 8:22:19

"Now lets see if he remembers to put the lid down!"

01/11/19 6:08:28

"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, stuck in the middle with you........

31/10/19 10:08:16

Rub a dub dub, three men on a tub!

31/10/19 10:00:45

"Does my Bum look big in this?"

31/10/19 9:47:53

"Anyone got the number for Autoglass?"

28/10/19 9:56:52

Ruffs and Crufts!

27/10/19 8:24:45

Dogweed, the scurge of all gardeners!

27/10/19 8:05:58

Train-er Tracks

27/10/19 7:36:44

Do you think he looks like you or me most?

06/10/19 8:43:34

WARNING! This product may contain nuts.

06/10/19 8:38:05

"Yippee, I caught one"

01/10/19 8:05:19

Rover loved to play Hide and Sheep

01/10/19 7:50:23

"I hear there was a big scrap in town last night!"

01/10/19 7:40:57

"Do the come in multiple packs?"

30/09/19 20:35:46

"I have no idea, but it seems to work for politicians"

30/09/19 20:03:21

"Anyone for a game of fifty two card pick up!"

30/09/19 19:51:29