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Pugboat

09/02/23 9:48:12

Everyone agreed it was a fitting headstone for Fingers McScouse

07/12/22 8:25:09

Can you just take the bloody photo? I'm friesian in this!

30/11/22 8:02:46

May contain alcohol.

13/06/22 18:11:17

I'm embarrassed to admit my girlfriend has turned veggie

27/05/22 9:09:34

If you wore a shirt or bought jeans with pockets, you'd have somewhere to put your comb and then you might not look so girly in the first place.

06/05/22 11:44:23

It was when she revealed where she put the garlic baguette that the trouble started

05/05/22 8:08:43

"I don't mind the cucumber and salad cream Brian but I don't like where they shove the celery"

07/04/22 8:11:31

"Come on Susan! Hurry up! The 12pm caption is due"

01/04/22 8:06:17

I prefer the B-side: "Kick back with my enormous shoes"

29/03/22 12:52:07

Don't throw your junk in the river!

25/03/22 12:15:35

"Lather it up, Fuzzball"

21/03/22 21:00:18

Ooh, your back looks saw

20/03/22 11:20:33

“Pooh’s daily exorcise isn’t working,” thought Tigger. “If anything, he keeps getting fatter.”

18/03/22 12:00:22

"Ugh! That things belongs at the bottom of the sea!"

"Yes and look, there's a squid parked next to it!"

16/03/22 8:10:41

“Hello there. 01-91-48-36-55 please. Oh, and some prawn crackers.”

15/03/22 8:08:36

“I hope one day someone invents an easier way to light a cigarette”

14/03/22 8:09:51

Dave refuses to admit he may have overstacked the dishwasher

11/03/22 20:00:29

...Must be willing to service the back doors

02/03/22 8:04:34

It's turtley dead

27/02/22 8:16:19

Baptism of … “FIRE!”

25/02/22 20:00:06

Daddy's going to be so pleased when he sees how short this ride-on mower can cut the grass

25/02/22 8:01:45

Sloping ceilings have always had their knockers

22/02/22 12:03:24

I am sorry about the damage to your car sir, but unless Imran's head goes under, it's not deep enough to be classed as a pothole.

17/02/22 20:11:13

Where the Hell is that other sock!

24/02/19 20:11:13

Tittens

21/09/23 8:14:44

Dave needed a good, long run-up to reach that urinal

20/03/23 8:27:19

Sorry, is it Uncle Les or Aunt Nancy that is featuring Woody?

09/03/23 8:25:27

"I hope you're okay with mushroom stroganoff for the next 6 months Dave?"

23/02/23 8:57:54

Dave regretted buying a used car online with CarZoo

17/02/23 12:19:17

That's not going anywhere. It's got an accupuncture.

10/02/23 12:00:41

Ahh, that certainly warms the cockles

16/12/22 9:01:20

There's more seating upstairs love but you have to use this ladder.

06/09/22 9:29:02

When you have massive hands and unfeasibly short legs, you'll take any award you can get

12/07/22 21:28:56

So that's what happened to Fatima Whitbread

19/06/22 15:50:15

Hovercraft

19/06/22 11:08:25

It's so hard to get the settings right on these new-fangled printers

18/06/22 9:59:43

"Eww! Dad, this stinks!"

16/05/22 20:39:03

There was a disappointing crowd for the Synchronised Farting Championships.

09/05/22 9:51:21

The main problem with installing a commode on the back of an invisible bike is that you can’t see where you’re going.

06/05/22 20:02:59

If you can read this, you're too close!

28/04/22 9:01:29

I hope he's sent away with a flea in his ear

21/04/22 14:26:14

"So Dave, if accepted, what qualities would you bring to Clown School?"

21/04/22 10:33:01

The familiar look of someone midway through a lateral flow test.

11/04/22 20:19:43

"...and Sellafield Ladies take the lead!"

Nod to 20:03:28

06/04/22 1:28:17

“W-will you go Ooo Ooo Ooot with me?”

01/04/22 12:20:25

"Hey Daddy! Isn’t that stewardess Nancy down there?"

24/03/22 8:16:19

There are one or two safety concerns but at least she shouldn’t get hit by a ship

24/03/22 8:11:19

The recipe said cover with foil and serve with a head of lettuce

21/03/22 12:40:42

Have you seen the size of that sinkhole?

18/03/22 8:08:11

"I don't care if you've brought breakfast! Get out of my hotel room!"

11/03/22 14:45:56

Stop messing about Homer! We can tell it's you

04/03/22 8:14:00

I told you we should have called an Eweber

03/03/22 8:17:34

Look, little brother, I’ve saved you this from when I was on the pickit line

01/03/22 12:04:25

"Hey! Look over there! There's a woman throwing lobsters off a trawler!"

26/02/22 9:41:38

Do you want to carry this one or the one with the handle?

24/02/22 12:00:45

No mum, I did not spend a night on the tiles!

23/02/22 9:36:27

The "Cats" movie fails to excite the audience even in 3D

20/01/22 14:38:38

Unconfirmed reports that Russia has run out of artillery shells

08/12/23 8:16:03

If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise

17/11/23 8:30:02