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	No, you can not drive the car. Period. 02/12/18 20:00:24	8

	You can't go up in the world without education. 02/11/18 20:00:11	8

	It's nearly lunchtime at the Daily Mail newsdesk. 07/10/18 11:00:06	8

	He's a good mathematician, but a bad speller 27/09/18 11:19:02	8

	"It's more fun than you might think - you just wait until the people concentrating on texting walk straight into them." 06/01/25 8:22:58	7

	"Before we start," said Dave, "You really do have to take your clothes off." 22/11/24 8:05:17	7

	When I bought this car, I thought all my Christmases had come at once. 24/08/24 11:00:24	7

	"These sushi are out of this world." 07/06/24 7:01:26	7

	"Yes dear, yes dear. You do realise that I can't hear a word you are saying? It's wonderful!" 21/01/24 8:12:20	1 7
The Mown of Silence --James Lennox
	How much is that moggy in the window? 15/02/23 8:00:10, edited: 15/02/23 8:35:33	2 7
or moggy --Stephen Bean
	Great balls of fire! 16/12/22 8:00:27	7

	Gran-nam style. 24/09/22 7:00:29	7

	"But it was MY turn to lick out the pan today!" 05/04/22 11:00:53	7

	"Oh hell, I've got a parking ticket." 22/06/21 7:04:22	7

	"It's no use, you can't run faster than the bear." "I don't have to - I only have to run faster than you." 01/06/21 11:01:35	7

	🎵 "Round, round, getting round, we're getting round..."🎵 17/02/21 8:00:07	7

	Second place, Double Amputees Beauty Contest. 16/11/20 12:04:09	7

	Wow, am I glad to get out of Narnia! 21/10/20 11:00:20	7

	"I've finally got my Zoom background to display a knife in my hand!" 24/09/20 11:00:12	7

	The audience all begged for deliverance. 27/08/20 11:00:41	1 7
ðŸŽµDa-da-da DUN DUN...ðŸŽµ "but did he give it to them?" ðŸŽµDa-da-da DUN DUN...ðŸŽµ --Willie Johnson
	🎵 Isn't it rich? Aren't we a pair?🎵 09/08/20 11:00:20	7

	Racing restarts at Newmarket with full PPE. 21/06/20 7:03:03	7

	I have this awful premonition that if I don't do this job right, I'll be toast. 13/04/20 11:00:38	7

	lol Can you hold it right there? One of the family moved. 01/04/20 7:03:35	7

	Severely incontinent man ahead. 08/03/20 12:02:18	7

	Eating all that blue grass hasn't done him much good. 23/02/20 8:01:30	7

	"It's no good, Elliott, I can't make us fly." 27/08/19 11:00:17	7

	"Cough, please" 19/08/19 7:00:21	7

	A sight for four eyes. 12/08/19 19:00:10	7

	OK, I admit it - the father was a coconut. Doctor, will I ever walk again?" 29/05/19 11:01:23	7

	The water in both tubs has completely evaporated while waiting months for caption.me to use this photo. 13/03/19 20:13:56	7

	"Stop, Frederick, the soldiers are coming!" "Well, OK, just the Minute Waltz, then." 07/02/19 8:06:12	1 7
"They're here- quick, get inside the piano!""We can't, Joseph's already in there- he's Haydn." --Michael Winner
	Someone's had a pooh in this suit. 01/01/19 8:02:16	7

	The Golden Globe awards were low-budget this year. 22/12/18 20:00:06	7

	Security precautions at the Texas School Book Depository when Trump does Dallas. 21/12/18 20:00:09	2 7
He won't go anywhere near a book. --Scrappy Doo
	Tracey was not really very good at playing air guitar. 13/12/18 8:00:13	7

	Told him not to smoke Marlboro Gold. 11/12/18 20:00:11	1 7
This guy should see a doctor or possibly a blacksmith. --Scrappy Doo
	"Diet Pepsi, please". 03/11/18 8:00:06	7

	I'm so glad I came! 16/09/18 19:00:17	7

	"Don't say a word. Not one word. Just drive me home." 24/12/24 8:01:35	6

	"Lads, just stop sitting on the ant-hill." 02/09/24 11:16:38	6

	Ah, thank goodness - we've been searching everywhere for Joe Biden. 11/07/24 7:28:37	6

	If you give one million monkeys one million typewriters, eventually they will get fed up with writing Shakespeare after half-a-dozen plays, and tear your head off. 23/04/24 11:02:10	6

	"Terry Gilliam, I presume?" 29/12/23 8:01:13	6

	"My wife said she really needed some incentive to lose weight - so I bought her a car." 02/06/23 7:06:42	6

	My mother always told me I should have my five a day. 31/03/23 11:00:10	6

	Student flat, three days into termtime. 01/03/23 12:01:16	6

	That toast is toast. 22/01/23 12:00:29	6

	De devil is in de tail. 16/09/22 7:00:20	6

	"What time's the funeral?" "Tooth-hurty." 14/09/22 11:01:59	6

	clever "Wow, that was some night with that pink elephant." 20/04/22 7:00:06	6

	"Happy Christmas, all you Democrats!" 12/12/21 12:00:17	1 6
Capitol caption --Glyn Evans
	"Can you get rid of that really strange looking character on the left, please?" 30/11/21 8:10:48	6

	"Yes, he stole both legs - they are black and hairy, and about this long." 28/10/21 7:00:18	6

	"Robbie, get your hand away from where your groin would be." "I can't help it, I'm dreaming of electric sheep." 06/07/21 19:06:57	6

	"Stop being so silly and get back in the pram." 24/04/21 11:03:18	6

	"Yes, I agreed to pose for Damien Hirst. Is there any reason why I shouldn't have done?" 19/02/21 12:01:34	6

	See level 14/02/21 8:01:45	6

	"You kids are going nowhere until Paul Vause turns up." 13/02/21 22:01:53	6

	"Dad, can I start shaving now?" 23/11/20 8:00:11	6

	Blimey - pass the deodorant. 15/10/20 11:00:21	6

	Bondage compulsory. Disco dancing strictly forbidden. 09/10/20 11:00:06	6

	He'd always wanted to try his hand at darts. 04/08/20 11:00:06	6

	Although Boris is supposed to be self-isolating, he still likes to maintain his iconic hairdo. 28/03/20 20:00:19	6

	My head is splitting. 29/11/19 8:08:24	6

	Candidates are gearing up for next year's Presidential election. 21/11/19 12:00:08	6

	OK, who's been feeding the elephants again? 13/11/19 12:20:12	6

	That guillotine really needs to be sharpened. 31/10/19 8:02:52	6

	lol Her sister's even friendlier - she goes around with a mattress fastened to her back. 18/10/19 7:00:12	1 6
I think I've met her: www.caption.me/437524 :^) --Crunchy Chords
	Good morning, Mr Weinstein. 18/09/19 8:12:15	1 6

	"So I said to him - no, no, listen, this is really funny! - I said - this was in reply to that thing he said - so I took a deep breath and I said..." "P*ss off." 02/09/19 7:00:57	2 6
Haha!Actually I think I would like it even better without the "p*ss off", just focusing on the talkative bird. :^)Crunchy (your voter) --Crunchy Chords
	We've tried and tried, but we can't get both our wheelchairs in there. 16/08/19 7:04:55	6

	No, don't pull the baby behind you - do what other mothers do, and push it ahead of you into the traffic. 13/08/19 7:43:11	6

	Bloody pavement cyclists, I've had a belly full of them. 05/07/19 7:00:43	6

	All six Flat Earth Societies were partly right. 23/02/19 8:02:51	6

	But you still cannot see Death approaching... 09/01/19 20:00:52	6

	"After the divorce, my other half got the car engine and the plough." 29/12/18 8:03:47	6

	"After that party last night, I feel as if all the stuffing has been knocked out of me." 12/12/18 20:00:07	6

	I hate the way all this Christmas stuff starts to appear even before Bonfire Night. 07/10/18 7:00:09	6

	That'll stop him poaching the duvet. 25/11/24 8:28:16	5

	lol You can't blame him for wanting to get drunk, after his sepsis amputations. 04/09/24 11:03:44	1 5

	The finalists in the Utah lemon-sucking contest. 30/08/24 11:17:34	5

	Many hands make light work - and so do many fingers. 06/08/24 7:33:45	5

	"Don't be an ass, you can't move your rook yet." 29/06/24 11:00:59, edited: 29/06/24 11:01:13	5

	When your librarian is an orang-utan and you made the mistake of calling him a monkey. 29/04/24 7:47:26, edited: 29/04/24 7:55:16	1 5

	That Coca-cola truck has seen better days. 17/03/24 8:00:23	5

	"Number Five, please can you move in a little bit closer? My bum is getting cold." 18/01/24 12:33:08	5

	"Blast! I've lost count." 10/09/23 7:00:59	5

	"God, it's been so long since I've seen you!" 29/07/23 7:00:52	5

	Gerald tried to ignore the ghost of a stewardess who had died in yesterday's plane crash. 01/07/23 11:10:22	5

	I'm on a strict diet - just one ham salad sandwich for lunch. 29/05/23 11:01:23, edited: 29/05/23 11:01:46	5

	"Dammit, I'm in deep shit." 16/03/23 8:21:00	5

	That'll take ages - it's already Mar. 11/03/23 8:00:06	5

	Nobody really minded Katy stealing road signs, but when she started collecting telegraph poles... 26/02/23 8:02:22	5

	I don't think I wish to be serviced by a chicken. 17/02/23 8:00:06	5

	"You mean you're going to EAT my baby?" 05/01/23 12:00:08	4 5
Yes. And then on Sunday... --Mr Dome
	It's as good a place as any to store them. 19/07/22 11:00:29	5

	"They don't like my music, and they didn't like my art. They just told me to get stuffed." 25/06/22 11:00:08	5

	"What are you doing in here? Can't you knock?" 19/05/22 11:05:28	5

	On Adventure With Rag'n'Bone Man 11/02/22 12:00:06	5

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