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Captions				1340	991	#100
Comments	1			22	16	#77

Sam Cass

signed up: 3 years, 10 months ago
profile viewed: 3 time(s) this week
caption quota: 10
caption votes given since joining: 1,540
comment quota: 10
comment votes given since joining: 15
super vote quota: 3

profile photos send private message captions comments received

I think therefore I caption. I am also an "I like long walks on the sunset and looking at the beach" kind of person.

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captions

"My parents got me the wrong cereal. You paying attention, Santa?"

02/12/19 20:03:37

clever

More Th>n one Freeman.

08/02/19 12:13:53

Brilliant caption! --Karyn Harrison

"It was a good caption! It deserved your vote!"

04/10/18 20:12:40

Sooo funny. I'm still in my first week on the site so I must apologize for not voting for some captions. It was several days before I realized I was able to vote for more than one caption for each photo. It would be great if we all had to give ev... --Funny Bean

21 years later, proof that Alice and the Cheshire Cat didn't just "talk".

06/12/19 10:26:45

clever

See his grin? Papa Smurf hasn't given him the "actually, we're asexual" talk yet.

03/06/19 20:36:34

Well, that's not a good sign.

20/02/19 20:01:09

lol

Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius, and defender against blanket hogs.

29/11/18 12:48:16

Every time I look at this caption it makes me chuckle as much as it did the first time. I just love the twist at the end. Thanks for the laughs! --Pussy Galore

It was meant to be a school.

23/06/19 14:07:04

It's not what you think. He was the first to see her come in and he was the first to play dead.

23/08/19 20:45:19

lol

Nothing the nurses did could cheer up the amputee.

28/05/19 12:33:31

The room was desserted.

26/09/18 14:44:56

"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!"

29/07/19 20:00:28

They were both nervous about their upcoming honeymoon in Tahiti.

26/04/19 20:58:38

Yep. It's a tapeworm...

03/01/20 21:28:39

Up the Pig.

09/10/19 20:22:07

What a way to make Tom and Harry feel like shyte!

10/09/19 20:40:50

Old MacDonald HAD a farm.

19/05/19 21:17:26

clever

Mrs. Slocombe's pussy has been served.

20/02/19 16:32:04

Henry the Death Cap made himself as attractive as he could to lure the man who had killed Meagan the Truffle and love of his life.

07/10/19 15:23:27

A severe lack of Vitamin D has left him suffering from rackets.

17/07/19 15:32:28

"Dear Lord, she even burned the beer! HOW??"

27/03/19 12:23:25

"I should have married the ugly one."

27/03/19 12:02:57

Just look at those two treblemakers!

08/03/19 20:01:12

He was a master baiter.

19/02/19 17:53:56

"It's so long, I use both hands." --Crunchy Chords

What a relief!

05/02/19 20:05:09

He'll wake up in good spirits.

30/10/19 12:22:16

Kiss any lower Clara and alpaca my bags and leave her.

09/09/19 20:00:08

Murder most fowl.

13/08/19 20:27:53

Matthew, Mark, look John!

27/05/19 12:02:30

"Don't be afraid, Peter. Point out to me the people in this room who voted for this picture."

15/05/19 21:55:52

lol

"You know, Carl, it's true what they say. 'Once you go black, you never go back'!"

01/05/19 15:38:28

Bad hijab day.

26/04/19 13:10:11

No one wanted to address the naked elephant in the room.

03/11/18 12:00:13

Local hedgehog shortage affecting caption site.

24/12/19 21:31:31

A hedgehog's about to jump through that ring...

13/12/19 9:05:53

If this is rated "G" why am I seeing cat nips?

31/07/19 20:46:25

You try to be polite but you know the resulting child's going to be ugly.

30/07/19 20:41:05

A woman and a snake. What could go wrong?

08/07/19 13:26:30

Cheezus!!

21/06/19 12:00:26

The second picture of a black hole.

04/06/19 12:23:36

Pacman Jr. lives to regret his parents' anti-vaccination stance.

23/05/19 12:31:29

"Does she take me for an idiot? I find her with this bloke and she says he's her cousin. How is a Flamingo with a Caribbean accent your cousin?!"

10/05/19 12:24:24

"Excuse me sir, do you need a hand?"

19/03/19 12:03:53

clever

You're not you when you're thirsty.

03/03/19 19:19:13

Jehovah's Witnesses will find you anywhere.

28/02/19 20:23:40

Meanwhile the tortoise is winning the race.

06/12/18 13:08:20

Hao to train your dragon.

12/11/18 10:38:09

'Owl be back!'

23/10/18 12:08:13

As you sow so shall you sleep.

01/08/18 14:10:47

Brokeback Monkey.

15/08/20 11:30:53

He was chuffed with this new game his mistress had devised. However, as the hours passed, he began to worry slightly that she might be having trouble with his cards and cash at that French place she said she was popping into for a minute.

29/07/20 14:26:29

Dandelion, the Witch, and the War in the road.

15/01/20 20:19:12

The famous songwriter of ... ♫ All We Are Is Dust In The Wind ♫ --Mauris Iocus

Poison Ivy.
No seriously. Someone PLEASE poison Ivy.

06/01/20 20:19:01

Model's deep thoughts: "................................................."

01/01/20 12:05:15

I had the same look after I calculated my total Christmas spending.

27/12/19 15:47:51

Death takes a holiday.

18/12/19 12:13:17

"Okay, one last fag then you jump. I need a better life, David."

12/12/19 14:22:03

Fair grounds for dismissal.

11/09/19 22:10:04

"That's him, officer! Look no führer!"

09/09/19 19:20:35

Downtown Alley.

27/08/19 15:24:52

Al didn't start this journey with brown trousers...

19/07/19 20:04:04

When her daddy's rich, you just go along with it...

14/07/19 21:14:20

Well, no has dumped $500 yet, so it's fine.

14/06/19 12:04:12

When the CEO's young mistress has an "artistic" brother.

23/05/19 12:33:46

Finally! Scientific proof that the only way ISN'T Essex!

16/05/19 12:35:30

Is this disturbing? I'd say sow.

13/05/19 21:06:45

Cruella De Vil finally moves on from Dalmatians.

10/05/19 21:13:49

Benny the horse headed straight for the cliff knowing that he would be immortalised in song.

10/04/19 20:55:46

He tried to enjoy the show the lesbians were putting on but his glaucoma was acting up.

09/04/19 12:49:04

Chewbacca's favourite was "Ms. April".

31/03/19 20:00:41

"I see white people."

06/03/19 20:08:39

"I WILL NOT LEAVE THE FIELD!"

25/02/19 13:32:11

Just two rabbits, standing on their hind legs, telling each other secrets.

18/02/19 13:33:56

Oh dear, and the first version was so innocent! --Molly R

"Mark my words, Amanda, you will be first to die when we get thumbs."

29/10/18 11:45:16

Another completely realistic Dr. Who alien.

15/08/18 20:10:55

Here we see a tiny member of the troop...

15/08/20 11:28:29

"What did he mean he just wants to fatten me up?!"

31/07/20 0:14:39

The dog isn't called Hansel or Gretel by chance? --Glyn Evans

Sneeze into your elbow, not on Whistler's Mom, The Scream, and The Mona Lisa, please!

17/07/20 20:36:25

Babadook: "Bring me the b... Uh, never mind. Keep the boy."

13/07/20 20:01:23

"Of course I ate her! What's love gator do with it?"

03/07/20 8:14:39

They might not feel pain but they like to inflict it by writing a lengthy last will and testament.

30/12/19 20:11:43

Dear Santa,

So I did the whole sit in your lap and tell you my wishes thing. It's now December 30th and I can't help but noticing that I'm still stuck in this crabby job!

I remain,

Crushed Adrian.

30/12/19 20:02:17

No regrets. Rudolph and the crew proved particularly succulent.

23/12/19 13:18:03

Such corny advertising!

16/12/19 13:20:35

We ARE going to need a bigger boat.

28/10/19 20:00:51

You know what he can't stand?

26/10/19 13:09:58

Thank you for being a fiend.

13/09/19 14:15:13

"You must be this big to ride."

11/09/19 20:07:46

'Listen to me, that is most definitely not "doggystyle", Karen! He tricked you.'

28/08/19 13:14:07

We are about to witness the murder of crows.

14/08/19 20:40:23

This wasn't the life Peter imagined living with Heidi.

31/07/19 20:38:53

'I'm done ironing your bag for life!'

29/07/19 13:45:12

Send nudes, she said.

25/07/19 21:11:06

🎵"Extended family sharks, doo doo doo doo doo doo!" 🎵

19/07/19 20:01:23

"Day 7: today I had to drink one of my sons to prove that I was just one of the locals."

15/07/19 20:13:11

Authorities have begun releasing photos of victims of the latest plate crash.

23/06/19 20:39:14

He knows when you are speeding ...

13/06/19 22:02:55

"I'm getting too auld for this sh!t!"

13/06/19 20:06:13

What a bluetiful couple they make!

03/06/19 20:30:18

"Domestic violence doesn't always look like you think it does."

01/06/19 14:56:53

"It'll grow back and tighter than ever won't it, doctor?"

29/05/19 12:10:35

Jehovah Witnesses see an upsurge in new members after unleashing their new window to window strategy.

In other news, health officials are reporting a rise in deaths related to heart attacks and 4th degree burns.

15/05/19 13:08:20

Nippleon complex.

14/05/19 13:45:30

And she laughed maniacally as she took everything from him in their divorce, dog included.

10/05/19 21:10:43

He just found out his real father is a bald eagle.

10/05/19 12:22:01

A no nansense outfit.

04/05/19 8:00:50

Life of Pi in the sky.

14/03/19 12:04:08

Not what you think. It's an academy for the gifted.

14/03/19 11:54:00

After the first telemarketer, the !Nhegenghe people began wishing they had remained uncontacted.

06/03/19 20:15:01

Guess he's not Fallon in love with her.

01/03/19 13:23:08

Today's Ted Talk has been cancelled.

12/12/18 20:17:24

Well, that's a ruff looking couple.

03/12/18 13:34:51

"Now you come and say 'Donna Corleona, give me justice.' But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me "Godmother." You come onto this ride on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder - for money."

18/11/18 20:10:12

There's always that one frog ruining the family portrait, not looking at the camera.

02/11/18 12:39:51

He doesn't want to show his right side because he lost an eye on Halloween night. --Karyn Harrison

"My wife is right over there. I haven't told her yet! What? Of course I'll tell her. I'll tell her this time. I'll tell her this month, I promise. I just need more time!"

19/08/20 18:42:07

Your birthday's not the time to find out you're not triplets.

09/08/20 0:26:20

"What do you mean it'll just be us three at this party?!"

09/08/20 0:24:18

Hey! Sandy is a unisex name, o.k.?!

03/08/20 22:22:44

...and so's Dave. --Glyn Evans

Another one bites the dust.

03/08/20 22:07:15

Surge on, General!

18/07/20 20:10:51

Warning: Smoking grills.

18/07/20 20:09:04

"Calm down, Devon. Caalm dowwnnn. He's one of us. He's one of us."
"But just..lean back so he only sees the pirate and the bear."

Thoughts of a massively scared black muppet upon spotting a copper.

14/07/20 0:21:15

When he wants to be deep but his fangs don't measure up.

09/07/20 20:03:48

Time took the piss with that face of yours!

09/07/20 20:00:13

I feel all anole in the world.

28/06/20 21:04:57

Thanks! --Sam Cass

Visual representation of the warmth that is the ALDI shopping experience.

17/01/20 10:07:32

Now your little future surgeon at home can practice fixing dislocated hips!

07/01/20 13:48:55

Last year, they learnt what mischief a missing "n" could make!

31/12/19 20:00:16

So TOWIE is a lie?!

30/12/19 11:02:03

Oz invests in signage after the whole "Dorothy thing".

30/12/19 11:01:02

Wimbledone.

25/12/19 15:21:14

When a sweet potato and a clove of garlic really love each other...

24/12/19 20:03:04

Yam having a laugh, yam are --Mr Dome

Mrs. Claus: "No more Segways with VS Angels. And wear your damn wedding ring!"

24/12/19 13:44:30

Mrs. Claus's at home calmly studying the label on a bottle of antifreeze.

23/12/19 13:16:08

Headless Porscheman.

16/12/19 20:00:33

I've had it with these muffinloving hogs on this muffinloving tray!

12/12/19 20:01:59

"Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped shining?"

10/12/19 20:00:12

Different dye, same shit.

05/12/19 20:00:28

Ah, the feeling of having something cocked and loaded...

09/11/19 20:07:35

'If Ivanka weren't my daughter, I'd use my thumbs like this!'

02/11/19 16:44:38

The new Pantene shampoo commercial is giving me the creeps!

31/10/19 13:29:43

"Hello Instagram! It's your girl Ariel enjoying some post-meal brews! RIP Sebastian, Flounder, Papa Triton, Hubby Prince Eric, Flotsam, Jetsam, Ursula, the ship that struck Ursula, Louis, Carlotta..."

28/10/19 20:04:43

Bill.I.Am

25/10/19 21:22:43

I am Bill. --Willie Johnson

A bit too early for Eurovision, no?

16/10/19 17:19:11

Thankfully, RuPaul taught him how to "tuck".

10/10/19 15:11:34

Jehovah Witnesses WILL find you anywhere!

10/10/19 15:09:39

"Bye, Fellatio."

08/10/19 14:32:02

The serving on the Mount.

07/10/19 20:01:21

Mama Bear and Papa Bear had the most fun at Goldilocks's wake.

06/10/19 21:58:39

Out of the frying pan into the fir.

25/09/19 21:33:37

'Oh, Kermit used to bring me lots of flowers. Oh, Kermit used to dress up nice. Oh, Kermit used to do this. Oh, Kermit used to do that...' this little piggy mimicries all the way home.

25/09/19 17:01:56

🎵 "What does the fox make?!"🎵

13/09/19 14:27:44

Peter's Dinklage.

11/09/19 19:24:39

Slaves to fashion.

11/09/19 14:56:42

"Alright. We get it, Rove. Day 83 of you mourning the loss of your balls."

06/09/19 21:39:24

'Put your hand down dad, the whole team knows she has syphilis!'

30/08/19 20:08:16

I campbellieve this! This isn't a progresso move on their part. Then again, in heinzight, we really shouldn't have expected baxter from them.

28/08/19 15:47:36

She could hardly contain her eggcitement.

22/08/19 20:03:32

Egghead is pleased. --Scooter Doo

Well, I wouldn't worry about getting sick. It's chock full of ant'bodies.

22/08/19 15:57:12

Jerry was ecstatic that life as husband to a conjoined twin had come to an end.

19/08/19 20:19:25

"...diet coke, you miserable tw@ts!"

19/08/19 14:27:45

Feathers of a bird flock together.

14/08/19 20:17:53

B-B-Benny on the Jet.

13/08/19 18:32:55

"Promise me, Mister? That the captions won't be lacist?"

24/07/19 12:37:15

I think you've got a spelling error. It should be "Plomise". --James Lennox

Father of the Died.

17/07/19 14:08:04

Say what you will, he still has a peel.

15/07/19 21:19:31

"Ooh,but you are much too big and thick," Alice said, rehearsing her lines ahead of the big date with Little John.

08/07/19 13:25:45

The chair is a ruse, I saw her levitate to get up there. Time to move house, without the child, dear.

26/06/19 11:31:54

From the producers of "Man flu" comes "How men view simple household chores".

24/06/19 20:51:49

Catapulting and tie-dyeing. These were Dave's passions.

24/06/19 11:48:14

That's so off the wall!

23/06/19 20:34:45

Well, she WAS born a coal miner's daughter.

20/06/19 20:06:04

I don't get this. Maybe I'm just slow.

06/06/19 20:53:48

Ereptile dysfunction.

04/06/19 20:04:09

Daenerys of the House Twigaryen.

24/05/19 12:45:17

How to train your wagon.

16/05/19 20:33:30

With so many beautiful women around, Ethan had a difficult time choosing one dire erection.

16/05/19 12:30:45

Huntera Gatherer no longer need tall man in she life. She take ride now to top of flying cave for better view to help she forage. She not stupid; Man go over to Becky cave too often now. All Becky children look like Man. She eat many bush to help make the children. None come. She better off alone. Also, Man better off staying in Becky's cave the next time he go over there to fix her TV...

13/05/19 16:25:04

High-speed chase scene from MissiNAN Impossible.

07/05/19 14:43:59

After everything that happened at that wild party nine months ago, Richard was just happy his babies didn't show up with gills.

03/05/19 18:48:56

"This, Susan, this is the position, I suggest you try tonight."

01/05/19 15:35:32

Loch Ness Monster and other mythical creatures crack down on photo leaks.

30/04/19 15:44:38

The two in the front live together. They're fatmates.

26/04/19 13:08:01

"Women hot with lunch hot free pony the," dyslexic John read as he drove past the sign bemoaning having gone his entire life without knowing the touch of a woman.

16/04/19 20:14:01

Let's leave; let's remain.

12/04/19 21:46:34

"Where's your neck, mate?"

10/04/19 13:55:22

"This I can promise you, Susan: I'll kill you first. Slowly."

05/04/19 0:08:36

Little Red & Riding Hood.

21/03/19 12:11:37

Thumbing's wrong here.

19/03/19 12:00:50

American kids call this "fine dining".

13/03/19 12:00:27

"If anyone ever tries to touch you in your 'no-no place', dear, quill them to death!"

12/03/19 21:19:58

"Grandma, that's not Grandpa's crotch!"
"It's fine, love. You're adopted."

12/03/19 1:20:04

First the antifreeze in his smoothie. Now this. Leon was beginning to suspect Kara knew about his affair.

23/02/19 21:37:50

"Mother Earth", the new model being used to sway President Trump back towards the Paris Agreement.

22/02/19 12:58:09

"Erase the four, this room is cold. Put nine instead."

15/02/19 20:03:04

9 out of 10 referees recommend flossing.

10/02/19 21:35:36

Everyone else thought Jane a dear but Lisa could smell something fishy.

07/02/19 0:55:02

🎵This is a maaaan's wall but it would be nothing...nothing without a trowel!🎵

01/02/19 12:02:04

This is becoming Ahabit.

18/11/18 14:03:14

Sorry Sam, I missed this one. Clever! --Pussy Galore

People still talk about that bewildering and passionate flamenco dance performed by Ricky and Lucy that fine Spring evening in 1999.

18/11/18 14:00:17

more captions

last comments (total: 44)

Thanks!

Sam Cass

01/07/20
7:29pm

comment on caption:
I feel all anole in the world. [Sam Cass]

Sign of the Time Gentlemen Please.

Troompa Loompa

02/07/20
10:17pm

comment on caption:
Sign for the times. [Sam Cass]

The dog isn't called Hansel or Gretel by chance?

Glyn Evans

01/08/20
8:38am

comment on caption:
"What did he mean he just wants to fatten me up?!"
[Sam Cass]

No, just "Hans".

(caption author)

01/08/20
2:01pm

comment on caption:
"What did he mean he just wants to fatten me up?!"
[Sam Cass]

...and so's Dave.

Glyn Evans

06/08/20
4:32pm

comment on caption:
Hey! Sandy is a unisex name, o.k.?! [Sam Cass]

😮

(caption author)

07/08/20
2:56pm

comment on caption:
Hey! Sandy is a unisex name, o.k.?! [Sam Cass]

What is it?

Glyn Evans

12/08/20
8:08pm

comment on caption:
"It is what it is." [Sam Cass]

Imagine that "Make my day", "No, you make my day", "this is the most powerful handgun in the world..." "Yeah, I know I have one too", "we all have the most powerful handgun in the world, are we creating some sort of power stalemate?" "Nah, I forgot my bullets" "So did I" "well do you feel lucky, punks?" "Hey that's not fair" "It's not meant to be otherwise how could you feel lucky punk?"

Glyn Evans

20/08/20
12:44pm