Deirdre was developing a bad habit

20/08/12 19:00:44

Who said size was irrelephant?

29/08/12 19:20:35

People keep pinching the goods

24/09/12 11:37:47

Dolly was just one of many let down by her local council

08/12/12 9:52:02

"First my bike, now my car you plebs"

22/09/12 7:30:38

"I think there's a hole in our boat"

24/07/13 11:29:11

Dave wished his Dad would try his Sexy Santa outfit on somewhere else

12/12/12 12:09:18

Bob wasn't quite sure he believed his eyes. He thought those things had been extinct for years. As his truck rolled closer he was amazed....... it really was a payphone

23/11/12 12:04:03

As the contents of the crate fell to earth it became apparent that the wrong "comic aid" box had been delivered

11/10/12 19:05:37

Someone got laid last night

05/09/12 11:10:51

"I'm going to have to go back to the shallower part, my nipples are getting wet"

24/07/13 11:22:28

Simon found the air hole was the best fit

20/11/12 20:27:06

Having a baby turns your whole world upside down

02/10/12 7:21:23

Dave enjoyed practicing Yoda

13/12/12 12:19:25

Some cracking deals

24/09/12 11:01:16

The Snooze Brothers

15/12/12 20:18:43

Sharon loved a game of Suitcase Jenga

08/12/12 12:07:20

Grizzly bare

10/08/12 14:25:07

Bob had forgotten Toupee the roofer

30/07/12 10:07:37

"Offer her the ransom and if she refuses, Thumper"

05/04/13 19:23:56

"Daddy, you've taken me to the fairground, to the circus, swimming, iceskating, to McDonalds and now fishing but you still havent answered my question.......

Where do babies come from?"

20/12/12 20:32:17

Broom stuck

08/12/12 20:25:15

Maybe Sandra should've emphasised when she asked for "cheek implants"

09/11/12 12:38:32

The local tax collectors had been waiting a while

29/10/12 10:16:52

I shocked the sheriff......

19/09/12 11:07:46

Model prisoner

06/08/12 10:03:02

"I could get used to this climate change malarkey"

24/07/13 8:29:34

The Apple of her Thigh

12/12/12 12:12:31

The zookeeper demonstrated to the baby chimps where to find food if they ever got separated from their mummies

10/12/12 22:43:20

Well hung was just how Shelley liked it

08/12/12 9:55:31

The auditions for the next Shrek movie were going well

05/10/12 7:14:48

Dave tried Job Shadowing for the day

10/09/12 8:34:31

Tom didn't realise how drastic the side effects of steriods could be

08/08/12 19:23:20

Business was crap

22/07/12 10:11:38

House Plant

06/01/13 20:26:35

Car Boot Fail

03/01/13 20:06:12

On the Calais coast line more hopefuls cling on to their inflatables and get ready for the leap of faith

03/01/13 12:19:36

"Can't we just go to Tesco?"

20/12/12 20:37:06

♫ I want to fly my bicycle ♫

17/12/12 20:04:48

Jack smiled with eager anticipation as he thought of the Vaseline he'd slipped in his pocket earlier that day

13/12/12 12:26:20

Boa Thai

18/11/12 12:43:48

Jenny liked to show off her handy work

12/10/12 7:10:14

Her favourites were the kitten heels

10/10/12 11:39:06

The drug dealers in New York had started to colour co-ordinate.
'Viagra Vic' was always the easiest to spot

28/09/12 11:13:28

Between a rock and a hard face

25/09/12 19:06:59

Jordan didn't like the results of the 'Age Me' app

04/09/12 8:08:17

Your honour, I swear I slipped while trying to cross the road

31/07/12 11:26:48

The end of the battle was nigh, the last of the brave soldiers had fallen and the freedom of the city had been won.

The whole thing would go down in history and it was all captured on film thanks to Sir Littlefoot's galliant efforts.

He looked down in triumph and declared, "shit, I didn't press record"

02/07/14 22:07:47

"Look, it's Prince Albert!"

05/04/13 11:58:42

The protesters had started to become cocky

05/04/13 11:57:53

"Cor, There's a bit of a whiff coming from these fish"

"Er, no, that's me, Ishmael"

03/01/13 12:30:04

Homemade Burger

29/12/12 20:32:39

The Codfather

20/12/12 20:34:47

Halle-loo-jah!

14/12/12 12:00:10

It's a bit nippy at these high altitudes

22/11/12 12:40:50

The future of sign language is in your hands

19/11/12 12:35:18

Rodeo Dive

06/11/12 20:00:10

The Smith family went out for something t-weet

30/10/12 12:16:38

Meanwhile in a Galaxy SIII far far away....

30/10/12 12:04:19

Jimmy had a good one brewing

25/09/12 7:05:16

"I like my men, like I Like my coffee... Oh, wait, maybe that's where I'm going wrong"

23/09/12 11:08:35

On the Steve Jobs

09/09/12 11:03:07

The dinner table was wheely clamped

03/09/12 19:04:24

I'm with Cupid

30/08/12 11:12:14

Mary was slowly losing focus

20/08/12 19:04:07

Tom was a sucker for a pamper day

17/08/12 19:22:04

Dave didn't understand why his cherries weren't selling

17/08/12 7:24:58

Thomas Cook admired Ryan's Hair

08/08/12 10:25:43

Bob recognised the local Chinese takeaway's number 10minutes too late

01/08/12 10:45:31

As long as you're my baby it don't matter if you're black and white

31/07/12 11:29:31

Dress down Friday was always fun in the IT department

03/07/12 19:41:18

Kids grow up so quickly these days

31/05/12 15:24:56

Don't trust them, they're two faced

05/04/13 12:05:05

8months 28days later

29/03/13 23:56:47

Van Higher

09/01/13 20:26:31

Angry Breads

04/01/13 20:28:05

Following the recent BBC crisis, Top Gear found their budget cut drastically

03/01/13 20:07:04

Beech Body

30/12/12 20:00:10

God only gave man enough blood to run one head at a time

28/12/12 12:51:42

Captian Jack rued blindly following his sat-nav during the floods after the waters receded and he found himself landlocked in Tamworth

17/12/12 13:03:19

Adam was about to be shown the alternative Garden of Eden

12/12/12 12:28:04

John had steeled himself for the floods

09/12/12 20:00:54

The irony of his gesture was lost on Bill

27/11/12 12:04:45

Johnny practiced safe sex.

He always used rubber

20/11/12 20:29:04

Chung realised the mistake in asking her Gran for a feather Boa for her birthday.

18/11/12 12:31:13

May agreed to play snakes and ladders with her sister.

She lost.

18/11/12 12:25:12

Barbie felt better after having throne up

07/11/12 20:29:33

These guys challenged me to a drag race. I took them up on their offer but it appears they were all mouth

04/10/12 11:21:18

It was the last motor left at the hire place so they would just have to grin and bear it

04/10/12 11:18:36

agadoo doo doo

20/09/12 19:00:37

Someone made a cock up on the "theatre" booking

12/09/12 19:19:37

To get an authentic Brazilian you need the right workman and the right tools

04/09/12 11:20:50

Yet speed kills?

31/08/12 11:00:42

Make mine a raggamuffin

29/08/12 11:26:20

Sofa, so good

19/08/12 19:00:15

Sandmen

16/08/12 11:00:11

Lionel's number one fan came prepared for dancing on the ceiling

24/07/12 19:11:57

Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head?

24/07/12 19:03:44

Blues and Chews

21/07/12 12:07:08

Mike was making a right pigs ear of his homework

21/06/12 22:19:29

Gimme 20!

06/06/12 13:11:46

He was the first in the class to count to 20

06/06/12 13:11:32

Although Independant most of the The Times, Jim took his Daily Express look in The Mirror and realised Today he couldn't see through The Sun glasses he was wearing so he wouldn't be able to go out without his Guardian.

03/07/14 16:09:12

Finished to perfection with mint saws

25/07/13 12:40:37

In his heat even Billy the Brown bear had to slap on the factor 50

24/07/13 8:28:49

"I'm gonna need a tooth pick"

01/04/13 19:53:56

Finally getting to the bottom of the theory of evolution

01/04/13 10:04:25

You think he's scary now, just wait til he grows a few feet

29/03/13 23:57:37

Take me to your feeder

29/03/13 23:52:11

Rebecca suddenly regretted not wearing a bra

03/01/13 10:53:10

Once Dave introduced them to Rover he couldn't drag them away

24/12/12 20:12:09

"What basket case has put that there?"

17/12/12 20:05:36

Pete tried anything to avoid another ticket for cycling without lights

17/12/12 20:01:02

"Look cool, I think that bird over there is checking us out"

15/12/12 20:00:11

Coming Soon: The Paralympic Superbowl

14/12/12 20:06:19

It was a heavy session last night.
Tim was still legless at the breakfast table.

14/12/12 20:02:29

The Lady Gaga fan club were so impressed with her 'Beef Curtain' dress they decided to go one better

13/12/12 12:31:19

Thankfully the green beam somewhat disguised what Mike was projecting out both ends

13/12/12 12:20:54

The baggage handler let his wife pack the suitcases

08/12/12 12:14:55

Dave tried a little bondage to spice things up

08/12/12 9:56:52

The offender will be in court tomorrow

21/11/12 20:25:35

To cover the smell of burning rubber Pete thought he'd smoke after sex too

20/11/12 20:25:55

"Call Security, this man's an inpasta"

12/11/12 12:12:35

Jodie's new boyfriend was Finnish

31/10/12 20:18:04

They'd never shot a bluebird before

23/10/12 7:17:04

The applicants to the new series of 'Gladiators' left a lot to be desired

20/10/12 11:34:35

Spencer was too good to be sat on the bench

20/10/12 11:28:57

Mario only ever bought the organically fed anchovies for his pizzas

16/10/12 11:29:23

After a spate of power cuts in the area, meg resorted to an old Chinese superstition to end her woes. After all, many hands make light work!

12/10/12 7:11:22

Willy wonka sent his Umpa Lumpas out to fetch his VW Polo some new wheels

30/09/12 19:02:26

Toy-ota drius

28/09/12 19:05:22

Rubber dinghy rapids bruvva

19/09/12 19:07:18

"try and kiss me again and I'll wrap this crutch around your head"

19/09/12 11:04:41

Will someone please wake up the K-9 so we can get on with the job

10/09/12 19:01:57

Giddi - hicc - up

06/09/12 11:11:28

I guess the chicken came first

05/09/12 11:00:21

Meals on wheels

03/09/12 19:00:33

Eating too much can give you clamp

03/09/12 19:00:19

As she turned away the captain got a final front leer

31/08/12 10:45:54

Apu had a bad case of elephantiasis

29/08/12 19:14:14

The new uniform was very popular

29/08/12 7:25:31

Photography is a career not to be sniffed at

20/08/12 19:00:17

Mary'swhole training regime had been a pantomime

18/08/12 8:16:55

The boys weren't the type to bury their heads in the sand

16/08/12 11:01:58

Amy's was all arse over elbow trying to wind the baby

15/08/12 11:10:31

Forearmed

12/08/12 20:28:39

Fly on the wings of man love

08/08/12 10:16:25

I can see Gull from up here

05/08/12 10:06:56

Claire didn't seem stressed

02/08/12 19:19:59

The bridesmaid was always making a tit of herself

29/07/12 19:36:14

It was Mikes first time at the Fetish Fair

24/07/12 19:37:09

Therapist; so Peter, please tell me about your father's death

Peter; it was a lovely summers day, I saw him lying there and Ice Creamed

12/07/12 10:11:49

When Bob said he was used to being shafted at the pumps he didn't mean literally

04/07/12 16:46:26

The office is a right sty!

21/06/12 22:50:44

I said I wanted to go to see BOB Monkhouse!!

21/06/12 22:27:44

Magda started her dentistry training at a young age

11/06/12 15:49:55