Troompa Loompa

It's the quickest way to dry him after putting him through the washing machine.

11/08/21 8:31:15

"One's gran was wondering if you'd do us a deep fried swan?"

28/07/21 12:07:43

09/06/21 12:02:07

"How about going topless?"

"Well I would but I can't paint if I'm cold."

30/04/21 20:02:09

"What do you think of my tits?"

"They're grrrrrreat."

07/04/21 12:06:38

If you like flat, dry and flaky, but knock her up, you can add some milk. --SnapDragon D

Clive Dunny

04/04/21 8:51:26

The Dads Army commemorative range also contains the phrases ... they don't like it up em,fuzzy worries,we're doomed,stupid boy,mum won't like it uncle Arthur, do you think that's wise sir and many many more --Tony S

Sadly they were separated when Dave was posted overseas.

07/02/21 12:02:33

It was 3 hours before Jane's boss realised she'd actually skived off for the afternoon.

27/06/20 9:09:19

Good either way although even better with both sentences in my opinion. What I think doesn't matter, I hope you get more votes. --Willie Johnson

Mr & Mrs Tate were beginning to regret naming their son Levi.

06/04/20 12:00:29

Instead of getting the bus, Ewoks.

10/08/19 20:29:12

A European union.

23/06/19 8:06:24

Balance Armstrong

05/09/17 12:15:56

They'll all fall off when Islam on the brakes.

27/12/16 20:23:25

18/08/16 20:01:43

07/06/15 20:18:08

18/05/15 20:21:56

19/11/21 12:02:14

"Mirror mirror on the wall...."

26/08/21 8:25:05

"Okay so we've been chasing vehicles for years and we've finally caught one so now what do we do?"

31/07/21 8:27:57

It's exactly like Capitol Hill. --Glyn Evans

"Your face or mine?"

18/07/21 12:40:37

Welsh prostitute washes her mouth out in between clients.

08/06/21 12:19:21

Trump has already proven he isn't cut out to be President.

06/06/21 12:05:05

"The traffic's murder today."

20/05/21 20:11:04

... and the murder's traffic. --Willie Johnson

These soldiers were unable to dodge the draft.

24/04/21 21:11:22

8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskies.

28/03/21 12:07:04

Disbabling the search function doesn't really help.. ;-) --Guideaux .

He would never have tried smoking if he hadn't been egged on.

19/06/20 20:16:49

Ken Barlow has a lot of skeletons in the closet....including Deirdre.

26/04/20 12:06:25

"There was this one time, at band camp...."

20/02/20 12:50:27

Cher unhappy with plastic surgeon following her latest facelift.

03/10/17 12:06:33

Ha, ha! I see the resemblance: "I got...YOU BABE!" --Greg Curtis

For Susan cheerleading was a cross between a job and a hobby.

clever x2

02/09/17 14:09:46

The Loft World of Atlantis

07/11/16 20:48:39

A minute later Dave tossed himself off.

25/07/16 13:30:03

Devastated at being sacked by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew following yet another disaster in the laboratory, Beaker just couldn't face the fax.

29/09/15 13:13:34

When the priest saw her he had a stroke.

04/06/15 20:37:12

A triple entendre is good for a vote. --Greg Curtis

"Business has quadrupled since we moved to the new premises next to the chemotherapy unit."

31/01/15 12:21:51

Cock or Spaniel

04/08/14 20:19:27

"Your hurdles are ready Mr Corbett."

24/07/14 20:17:55

creative x2

Gastric Band of Brothers

24/06/14 12:49:47

As a new mother Jill likes to express herself.

25/05/14 10:56:27

Sandra was delighted to be Miss Norfolk for a 3rd successive year.

16/05/14 20:45:39

"We shall Sprite them on the beaches..."

25/03/14 21:43:45

"Jane, I really think you ought to take our marriage guidance counselling more seriously."

06/08/13 21:27:39

First time a caption's made me laugh out loud in ages. --Michael Monkhouse

Necra-feelya.

13/06/13 20:09:35

creative x2

#tag

24/05/13 20:06:03

Excellent- this is one of those original ideas that will get ripped off so much in future that it might become a meme. I'm looking forward to doing it myself :) --Michael Winner

Mirror - Bat Signal - Manoeuvre.

26/01/13 17:25:30

"Emu, I just want you to move the aeriel a bit to the left then we can go back inside and watch the Man United game. Don't wrinkle your beak like that at me."

22/01/13 20:29:41

Last of the Summer Wine does Cool Runnings.

creative x3

04/01/13 8:53:49

Towed in the hole.

22/12/12 12:07:07

♫ Grease is the Nerd. ♫

23/11/12 8:00:37

Money for old pope.

04/11/12 12:00:15

"Somebody has piked my drink."

03/11/12 8:00:34

Inlaws and Outlaws.

02/11/12 8:42:52

A Beach tree.

24/10/12 20:00:11

Disguise the limit.

01/09/12 12:10:29

"I'm normally fussy about who I date but on this occasion I'll make an exception and go out with a redhead."

26/07/12 11:15:40

The Hanging Garments of Babylon.

27/05/12 11:01:22

"I need to work on my slabs."

22/04/12 11:05:38

Warmwood Shrubs.

13/04/12 20:02:18

Men.

03/04/12 20:00:10

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Ford Galaxy.

19/03/12 20:00:12

I hope you're better at this than my last 17 guide dogs were.

27/02/12 12:21:13

clever x2

There's Macavity.

30/08/14 9:40:23

"You're having me on, this car doesn't have an ejector seeeaaaaa......"

28/08/14 12:39:17

Meanwhile, the guests at Keith Floyd's dinner party were sipping a nice cold glass of sage and onion stuffing.

10/08/14 21:16:15

Tom had always wanted to be a drill instructor.

09/08/14 21:48:19

Whenever they went to get sausages, Punch and Judy always fought over the Bill.

08/06/14 20:52:24