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| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 35 | 21 | 47 | #5 | 40 | 58 | #7 | 12587 | 15976 | #16 |
| Photos | ||||||||||
| Comments | 13 | 1 | 1386 | 1850 | #2 | |||||
| Forum Posts | 1 | 9 | ||||||||
| Suggested Edits | 1 | 1 | #2 | 7 | 13 | #6 | ||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 20 | #15 | 35 | #12 | 10517 | #21 |
| Photos | 2 | #6 | 6 | #118 | ||
| Comments | 1 | #5 | 6 | #3 | 1247 | #6 |
| Forum Posts | ||||||
| Suggested Edits | 2 | #12 | ||||
captions
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11/04/24 20:09:15 |
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[] I am not a robot 26/10/23 9:57:59 |
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She's gonna put the thermometer where??! 09/02/24 12:21:33 |
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28/02/19 8:18:57 |
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This new leaf blower's a bit powerful, Dave 28/11/23 12:07:46 |
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Come on Mavis, only 8976 left to clean. Remember we need to do 10000 steps a day 06/09/23 8:35:09 |
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Lol --Glyn Evans
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Alecia was annoyed with the person who had stolen her brim 27/07/23 8:10:34 |
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Took me a while, but I finally got there. --John Glover
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19/01/24 8:47:48 |
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I believe I'm seeing the head of the monastery later, I think he's called Abbot Wah 30/11/22 8:27:50 |
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Cleaver caption. --Willie Johnson
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23/07/18 12:45:34 |
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- What's on the TV tonight kids? 23/11/23 5:47:02 |
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This is funny. Originally, I thought the same as Anon, that the "dad" was redundant. I also didn't vote for the caption as it was a joke I'd heard a few times before. But now I know the reason for the inclusion of "dad", and the caption's self awaren --James Lennox
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05/06/23 8:22:18 |
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Hello All. Thanks for all the very funny comments 😁. I actually was on here about 6am this morning voting and never noticed I'd won. I only realised when I an email that I'd been sent some money from Chris which is very kind thank you. I would prefer --Mr Dome
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Hello madam. Allow me to push your stool in 04/04/20 9:41:59 |
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09/02/19 8:08:34 |
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21/06/18 20:33:04 |
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10/05/22 12:18:59 |
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Yes honey I still have the twins 14/05/20 12:20:01 |
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I hsdn't realised that it was a photograph of David Cameron. --Barrie Bullock
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Forgive me father for I have strimmed 09/03/19 8:04:07 |
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Nice sofa - where's it from? 11/03/24 12:12:24 |
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09/12/23 20:14:55 |
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Malcolm. MALCOLM! The sodding caravan's blown off again 27/11/23 18:27:03 |
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Pmsl --Karen Oakenfull
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Surely you get beef from a calf? 26/03/23 8:23:41 |
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Actually, you get veal from a calf not be-AAAAAAAAGH! Damn, I forgot about that electro-therapy machine. --James Lennox
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Be with you in a minute I'm just pulling the wings off this fly 13/03/22 12:24:38 |
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Actually laughed out loud. Well done. --Al Overy
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28/06/21 20:19:00 |
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Hood have believed it? --Willie Johnson
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29/04/20 10:26:46 |
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- are you a wookie? 19/12/19 8:44:08 |
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Brilliant! --Lynne A
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I said leave him at the coroner 11/10/19 8:21:14 |
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Belinda went everywhere with her giant dog 14/12/18 8:01:15 |
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Clifford? --Karyn Harrison
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Juan Carlos failed to draw any visitors for the world's largest horse 06/06/17 10:53:13 |
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Congratulations, Mr. Dome. Funny caption. --Pete
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The only downside is the small prick 20/12/22 9:44:12 |
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My wife always runs around like this 12/11/22 9:03:54 |
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Just as I was checking for "headless chicken" before posting, I spotted this - so much better! --Molly R
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20/04/21 12:58:07 |
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14/03/18 12:05:46 |
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To the author: Nice splice! --Greg Curtis
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Your mum walks with a very weird gait 26/03/24 8:54:46 |
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05/01/24 12:27:47, edited: 05/01/24 12:27:56 |
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Two airport staff arrested for people trafficking 31/12/23 9:43:09 |
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30/11/22 8:29:47 |
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10/07/22 6:50:15 |
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It seems that all Prices are inflated 25/12/21 8:08:15 |
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Bill and Ted and Dave and Steve and Tim and Mick and Trevor and Scott and John's Excellent Adventure 11/06/21 8:17:15 |
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15/08/20 8:22:50 |
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03/09/19 8:04:53 |
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04/04/19 12:04:55 |
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30/03/23 8:09:23 |
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11/01/22 8:37:43 |
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He knows how to keeper happy. --Willie Johnson
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Ironically it turns out my hamster has a nut allergy 20/09/21 13:58:25 |
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19/03/20 8:08:10 |
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His penny whistle? --Mr Dome
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01/02/20 9:01:50 |
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13/06/19 20:28:34 |
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Ooh I can see all her privet parts 22/05/19 12:13:26 |
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27/02/19 23:09:20 |
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🎵 Tiptoe....through the two lips 17/08/18 0:27:15 |
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29/07/18 12:12:09 |
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And now it's also a woman's best friend 17/07/18 21:30:23 |
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I'm not so sure about these outside toilets, Dave 13/01/18 8:30:38 |
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02/12/16 21:34:16 |
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12/10/15 10:24:44 |
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Almost had me in tears... --Tony Busby
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I've never seen a boulder statement 02/10/23 8:08:48 |
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I bet it's not the first purple head she's pulled off 01/10/21 8:18:57 |
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Of the four bank robbers only half made a clean getaway 04/07/20 20:38:26 |
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11/01/20 9:29:34 |
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He got so drunk he soiled himself 13/12/19 12:05:51 |
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The blind leading the colourblind 10/04/19 10:38:47 |
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26/02/19 20:52:07 |
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12/01/19 8:08:58 |
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Unfortunately his wife can't have it all. Dave has no penis but he's a great listener 20/05/18 12:40:54 |
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14/05/18 9:17:02 |
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The Barron Knights once sang, to the tune of Rivers of Babylon: "There's a dentist in Birmingham, he fixed my crown..." --Glad You Remember
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Mexico's response to the Great Wall of Trump 07/02/18 17:42:28 |
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He's taking his cycling profishency test 06/01/18 8:26:05 |
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- What does that writing say? Sun 17:23:07 |
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One of the rare occasions when the use of that word is really appropriate. --Molly R
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Will someone please explain to me why everyone takes photos of their meals 23/12/23 22:45:52 |
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29/11/23 9:04:15 |
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As I approached, he wound down the window, stuck out his hand and gave me the VW sign 05/08/23 8:11:03, edited: 05/08/23 9:51:51 |
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The start of Dave's family tree 19/04/23 12:35:44 |
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15/04/23 8:48:37 |
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Have you been involved in an accident that wasn't your volt? 10/03/23 12:12:30 |
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16/01/23 8:52:32 |
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Zing-Li didn't see the glass partition 01/12/22 20:15:25 |
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Never do your make-up on a road with speed bumps 22/11/22 12:03:48, edited: 22/11/22 12:04:14 |
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30/09/22 23:11:21 |
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28/11/21 8:39:20 |
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17/10/21 20:12:42 |
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The Angel of the North Americas 09/06/21 8:03:12 |
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No honey I definitely ordered a leotard 26/03/21 22:20:05 |
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30/04/20 20:08:05 |
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She later moved on to Nelson's column 21/04/20 8:10:44 |
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Freeze spider!! You are under a wrist 20/02/20 20:47:15 |
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06/01/20 20:18:52 |
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Russia claims drugs have never been taken by their swimming team 11/12/19 20:50:33 |
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I hate this frigging solid gold tie 16/10/19 12:24:32 |
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Not sure 3 legged football will catch on 11/03/19 8:56:33 |
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What are those Things on her head? 11/03/19 6:28:37 |
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Looks like someone's kicked the bouquet 09/03/19 12:17:26 |
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08/12/18 12:00:52 |
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30/11/18 9:03:12 |
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I was paid a lot to smuggle this one in 31/08/18 15:16:15 |
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28/07/18 12:11:49 |
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So simple that I couldn't think of it --sandeep chahal
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On the plus side, he did catch the frisbee 25/03/18 8:29:25 |
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I sense this is going to descend quickly --Mr Dome
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30/09/17 2:05:50 |
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12/09/17 21:41:57 |
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email us
I see what you say however I intentionally used dad as it's a dad joke and the kids are being sarcastic back to their dad (who would be much more likely to tell this crap dad joke). I'm just being explicit in letting the reader know it's the dad asking
5:51pm
comment on caption:
- What's on the TV tonight kids?
- Two shit ornaments and a clock, dad [Mr Dome]
Thanks: I LOVE this story...and your caption!
7:27pm
comment on caption:
- What's on the TV tonight kids?
- Two shit ornaments and a clock, dad [Mr Dome]
This is funny. Originally, I thought the same as Anon, that the "dad" was redundant. I also didn't vote for the caption as it was a joke I'd heard a few times before. But now I know the reason for the inclusion of "dad", and the caption's self awareness, that changes things. Good one, Cap Auth.
7:35pm
comment on caption:
- What's on the TV tonight kids?
- Two shit ornaments and a clock, dad [Mr Dome]
I originally had the 'dad' in upper case but thought it was too much to be stressed. Like the kids would say 'two shit ornaments and a clock' pause and then stress 'DAD'. Anyway, thanks for the kind comments and I hope you're all having a fun weekend
9:53pm
comment on caption:
- What's on the TV tonight kids?
- Two shit ornaments and a clock, dad [Mr Dome]
Ooo! ow! that hurt me more than a giant fork, that pun.
1:55pm
comment on caption:
Fork's prongs Dirk's dead, Nick [Mr Dome]
I'm glad it touched someone 😊. It was painful to type
2:03pm
comment on caption:
Fork's prongs Dirk's dead, Nick [Mr Dome]
Nah, I prefer a continental.
8:47pm
comment on caption:
Karyn is he your Bacon and ex? [Mr Dome]
A Danish?
9:10pm
comment on caption:
Karyn is he your Bacon and ex? [Mr Dome]
Yummy!
9:26pm
comment on caption:
Karyn is he your Bacon and ex? [Mr Dome]
This caption is hilarious, and one of the funniest I've read in a long time. Unfortunately I think it might have been a bit missed by lots of people as it was a late caption.
10:18am
comment on caption:
Malcolm. MALCOLM! The sodding caravan's blown off again [Mr Dome]