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There was a young man from Chantilly Who humped random plants, which was silly Mounting cacti is bad! He proclaimed to his dad As the nurses pulled spikes from his willy
There was a young man from Chantilly Who humped random plants, which was silly Mounting cacti is bad! He proclaimed to his dad As the nurses pulled spikes from his willy photo | portfolio
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Al Overy Vote score: 5968Al Overy

There was a young man from Chantilly
Who humped random plants, which was silly
'Mounting cacti is bad!'
He proclaimed to his dad
As the nurses pulled spikes from his willy

26/04/21 12:05:10

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16907Stephen Bean

Sex on the beech

26/04/21 12:00:42

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5940Karyn Harrison

"It started with a bit of tree hugging. I just got carried away."

26/04/21 12:10:39

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15120Dave Bryan

''I didn't intend to molest the tree, officer. It led me on.''

''Not that old chestnut?''

26/04/21 12:06:39

 3
Have you changed the word order since I voted? I think it might work better if you changed the last bit to "It led me on officer" and got rid of the 'but'. --Karyn Harrison
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34125Tony Edwards

No tossing the caber

26/04/21 12:00:55

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5577Kenny Ireland

"Screw yew".

26/04/21 12:05:25

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5577Kenny Ireland

"No fernication".

26/04/21 12:40:06

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 15120Dave Bryan

.....or you will be arrested by the copse.

26/04/21 12:00:46

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12607The Wolf

Forest Hump

26/04/21 12:00:05

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11917Neil Mackenzie

He’s got sex on the grain.

26/04/21 19:41:04

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5304Lucky Elperro

Molesting the visitors is fine, but don't touch the trees and shrubs!

26/04/21 18:11:55

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21225Troompa Loompa

"It's okay, I'm wearing a Shrubber Johnny."

26/04/21 12:02:03

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21225Troompa Loompa

...stay out of the bush too.

26/04/21 12:00:18

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5968Al Overy

"That's not how we fertilize the plants, Tim. Oh, dear... Someone get the hose."

26/04/21 16:37:36

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15370Vanessa the Guesser

Sorry, it's just that tight trunks are such a turn on.

26/04/21 15:36:47

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2908GeeDee

Woody Woodpecker

26/04/21 15:15:56

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11851Mr Dome

Tree Willy

26/04/21 12:07:37

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16907Stephen Bean

♪ All yew need is love

26/04/21 12:06:56

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16907Stephen Bean

...or you might catch crotch elm disease.

26/04/21 12:17:28

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11851Mr Dome

But molesting either trees or shrubs is fine

26/04/21 12:09:33

 1
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16907Stephen Bean

Forrest Hump

26/04/21 12:00:09

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11917Neil Mackenzie

Of course I don’t need protection, I only shag rubber trees.

26/04/21 19:40:10

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7779Vivvy En

But it's hard to resist getting your chopper out when they are so well-enboughed

26/04/21 19:13:43

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11851Mr Dome

Log jam

26/04/21 16:36:48

 
stone face Vote score: 9797stone face

Call Special Branch..

26/04/21 16:36:45

 
Ryan French Vote score: 100Ryan French

Can't help it, it's in my roots.

26/04/21 15:07:09

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8080Glyn Evans

The Jungle Fuck

26/04/21 14:47:40

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1267alexandra ball

Nightmare on Elm street.

26/04/21 14:28:08

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8303Hercules Rockefeller

"I thought you said that Dave didn't like to beat around the bush?"

26/04/21 13:55:22

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8303Hercules Rockefeller

"You don't understand, its naughthole looked so inviting!"

26/04/21 13:51:58

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6790Greg Curtis

“Next stop: Lake Flacid.”

26/04/21 13:14:24

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16907Stephen Bean

Fifty Shades of Grey Poplar

26/04/21 13:07:03

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2798Willie Johnson

So tell me whether this is molesting:
Chopping down a tree, cutting it into pieces and cutting all the rough parts off, then taking one piece and gouging out letters and painting it, and then taking another large piece and pounding it into the ground and nailing the two pieces together then sealing it so the wood can't breathe.

26/04/21 13:06:27

 1
Michael Winner Vote score: 24493Michael Winner

He's a known frondler.

26/04/21 12:48:40

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21659John Glover

Sid just loves a notty ash.

26/04/21 12:46:39

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5940Karyn Harrison

Raping Mother Nature

26/04/21 12:39:35

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24493Michael Winner

It's a Seeder tree.

26/04/21 12:38:19

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6790Greg Curtis

"I love the smell of a country walk."

26/04/21 12:31:08

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11851Mr Dome

Just how deep would you go into the bush?

26/04/21 12:29:37

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16907Stephen Bean

"I was just playing copse and rubbers."

26/04/21 12:25:45

 1
Nina Dutton Vote score: 430Nina Dutton

Jack has a bean-stalker

26/04/21 12:23:13

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 5577Kenny Ireland

"...or rape seed."

26/04/21 12:11:50

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25305Ian Skelding

No deflowering.

26/04/21 12:11:35

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21225Troompa Loompa

9 months later they had a little baby Triffid.

26/04/21 12:11:02

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25305Ian Skelding

"Get that Lumber jack off."

26/04/21 12:08:17

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21225Troompa Loompa

The Guy Who Shagged Tree

26/04/21 12:06:25

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21225Troompa Loompa

It hadn't even occurred to him. It was the sign that planted the seed.

26/04/21 12:04:02

 
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