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Proof that cats make shit lifeguards.
Proof that cats make shit lifeguards. photo | portfolio
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13101Vanessa the Guesser

Proof that cats make shit lifeguards.

07/01/20 20:06:51

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8149The Wolf

“Oh no, not another Scuba Diver. How the hell does he get them through the cat flap…”

07/01/20 20:00:21

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7018Hercules Rockefeller

Schrödinger's bath

07/01/20 20:05:06

 1
"That's a Super Position." --Crunchy Chords
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15317Dan Nicholls

Try as he might, his cat refused to teach him how to lick his own balls.

07/01/20 20:11:05

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8149The Wolf

Tom Daley

07/01/20 20:00:06

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8149The Wolf

A dog is a man’s best friend. Cats however…real pricks. “Sharon, I’ve found the car keys…”

07/01/20 20:00:45

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10189Mr Dome

Worst f*cking puppet show ever

07/01/20 20:44:25

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3951Crunchy Chords
Proof that cats make shit lifeguards.

07/01/20 20:00:51

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11838Stephen Bean

"Dave, do you need a purriscope?"

07/01/20 20:15:12

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15317Dan Nicholls

"SAY 'VET' AGAIN, I DARE YOU KEITH!"

07/01/20 20:13:04

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8149The Wolf

"Dave, when I said I wanted you to start pussy diving..."

07/01/20 20:03:20

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8149The Wolf

"I tell him time and time again. Change my litter please, Ian...Please Ian, change my litter, it needs changing. It's not my fault that all he hears is 'meow'. Well, it serves him bloody right. Dig deep Ian, it's down there somewhere"

07/01/20 20:20:56

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Dave is very safety conscious. He knows that the safest place to practice lighting his farts is in the bath.

07/01/20 20:11:26

 
Jack Joyce Vote score: 347Jack Joyce

...So that's where he keeps the tuna

07/01/20 20:00:11

 
Molly R Vote score: 2072Molly R

That'll serve him right for having me castrated.

07/01/20 20:00:08

 
sarah solway Vote score: 103sarah solway

And they say cats can't swim

08/01/20 9:49:22

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

Cat you on the flip side

08/01/20 8:26:26

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

Frog legs.

08/01/20 1:38:40

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 1007Sam Cass

"Good Lord! It's smaller than mine! How does Mistress cope?"

07/01/20 23:01:50

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11456Dave Bryan

It's enough to make a cat laugh.

07/01/20 22:41:16

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11456Dave Bryan

Tom foolery

07/01/20 22:38:51

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5966Tosser Wivlov

.... and now if you can feel it with your whiskers you should be able to lick it.

07/01/20 21:46:28

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4503Stu Dent

Diving with Cat Cousteau

07/01/20 21:21:03

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6900Glyn Evans

"Tempting, but this is one goldfish I will leave alone"

07/01/20 21:05:27

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1971Mark Wilson

Cats trained up to perform rectal examinations to ease NHS waiting lists

07/01/20 21:02:02

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9331Chris Keegan

Dave was not a fan of cats, however as time progressed his love eventually deep end.

07/01/20 20:52:57

 
stone face Vote score: 8115stone face

On the planet Legatorian, Mr and Mrs Arthur leg enjoy a bath together. Wearing their government issue bathing helmets. Looked on by Tiddles, their Legatorian dog....The End.

07/01/20 20:49:32

 1
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4974Karyn Harrison

"'Happy Feet'. My turn!"

07/01/20 20:48:59

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9331Chris Keegan

BREAKING NEWS Viewing figures for Cats the movie have taken a serious dive.

07/01/20 20:42:53

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

“Iams sick of hanging round this dive every night”

07/01/20 20:41:50

 
stone face Vote score: 8115stone face

(Muffled Voice)

"Ok honey, you were right. I can't fix it myself, will you call the plumber."

07/01/20 20:41:30

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10189Mr Dome

'TIDDLES - the torso's gone but I think we need more acid'

07/01/20 20:40:28

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2678Scrijjy Doo

"And don't come back without some tuna."

07/01/20 20:39:40

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4974Karyn Harrison

"Enjoy your slip! That's what you get for giving me out-of-date pilchards."

07/01/20 20:33:13

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32524Tony Edwards

Man drown!

07/01/20 20:31:56

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9331Chris Keegan

"When I said my pussy's purring, come over and dive in I wasn't quite expecting you to take it so literally"

07/01/20 20:29:12

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

A cat may look at a ring

07/01/20 20:24:25

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13101Vanessa the Guesser

The Mange from Atlantis

07/01/20 20:01:49

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Tom, Dick and Hairy

07/01/20 20:00:11

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3951Crunchy Chords

Bath Matt

07/01/20 20:00:07

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 409Gavin Smithers

"I told him- tuna in jelly!"

08/01/20 18:29:20

 
Ron Bell Vote score: 30Ron Bell

Taste of your own medicine kitten drowner

08/01/20 11:37:16

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11838Stephen Bean

"Bloody human, I'm sure he said he'd put some kippers on."

07/01/20 20:25:27

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6400Vivvy En

'Ah,' grinned Tom, 'I do so love a night on the tiles with Dave.'

07/01/20 20:23:22

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11838Stephen Bean

"Is there any murine life down there Dave?"

07/01/20 20:16:13

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11002Neil Mackenzie

Note to self:- Next time shave legs before painting toenails.

07/01/20 20:13:44

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23484Michael Winner

"FORE!"

07/01/20 20:03:28

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3951Crunchy Chords

Clearly I had not properly prepared myself for the first test of my new Flubber Fins.

07/01/20 20:01:30

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11838Stephen Bean

His wife told him she lost her wedding ring while she was washing her pussy.

He's looking in the wrong place…

07/01/20 20:01:22

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

Stop pussy footing around you are flipping meowt

07/01/20 20:00:59

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13101Vanessa the Guesser

After this episode Dallas really went to the dogs.

07/01/20 20:00:46

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Sink-ronised swimming

07/01/20 20:00:31

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Tip of the day: Always keep fill-up flops nearby, incase someone pulls out the bath plug.

07/01/20 20:00:27

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3951Crunchy Chords

Bath assaults

07/01/20 20:00:22

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11838Stephen Bean

Diving kit

07/01/20 20:00:05

 
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