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Shell shocked
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 4886Stephen Bean

Shell shocked

29/05/19 11:00:13

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5737Dave Bryan

''This is only the first, madam. There's going to be a packet of them.''

29/05/19 11:17:44

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4620The Wolf

“You’ve had a son, Pat”

29/05/19 11:00:04

 
stone face Vote score: 5687stone face

"And when he grows up he'll join the army and become a kernel."

29/05/19 14:18:18

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5692Glyn Evans

"We've removed the rugby ball from your vagina and drawn a face on it. We are nuts after all."

29/05/19 13:18:38

 5
Lol. It saves on confusion. Not that all [anons] are the same. They are individual [anons] and must be respected in their own right. :-D --Glyn Evans
Molly R Vote score: 1113Molly R

OK, I admit it - the father was a coconut. Doctor, will I ever walk again?"

29/05/19 11:01:23

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4620The Wolf

“YOUR NUTS ARE NEVER COMING ANYWHERE NEAR ME AGAIN”

29/05/19 11:00:12

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9321Vanessa the Guesser

"It's less painful having a Brazilian."

29/05/19 11:07:55

 
James Lennox Vote score: 3299James Lennox

Look who's finally come out of her shell.

29/05/19 11:33:12

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6984Chris Keegan

"We're so looking forward to raisin him together"

29/05/19 11:32:28

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2489Trace Sarge

The Nutcracker suite

29/05/19 11:29:45

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 805Sam Cass

"It'll grow back and tighter than ever won't it, doctor?"

29/05/19 11:10:35

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20958Ian Skelding

Post nutal depression

29/05/19 15:01:35

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 1271Scrappy Doo

It's an almond!

29/05/19 13:38:45

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 22301Michael Winner

Cashew on delivery.

29/05/19 12:32:23

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11164 Smuldo

"I think we'll call her Hazel..."

29/05/19 11:29:45

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11164 Smuldo

MaterNutty ward.

29/05/19 11:29:09

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4329Kenny Ireland

"Your partner seems to have had a Bombay mix".

29/05/19 16:38:20

 
Boycie Vote score: 6670Boycie

"So doc ... how soo till we can ♪♪♪♪♪"

29/05/19 14:52:08

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 4752Chris Halliwell

Blimey, she looks like she's been A Salted.

29/05/19 12:10:45

 1
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9321Vanessa the Guesser

"I'm afraid it'll be a little while before you can get your legume over again."

29/05/19 11:04:17

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37339Welsh Rarebit

"I think Shelley would be a great name..."

29/05/19 11:00:09

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 679Willie Johnson

What shell we name it?

01/06/19 8:22:57

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9508Neil Mackenzie

How strange your husband is a half inch screw and your son is an M8.

29/05/19 18:59:20

 
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 127Madeline Charlton

Knew you could crack it ! At last , my nuts came in handy .

29/05/19 18:36:42

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 910Karen Oakenfull

Mother and monkey are doing well.

29/05/19 17:38:31

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 910Karen Oakenfull

“She’s a cracker darling!”

29/05/19 17:34:37

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5139Paul Reeve

“Does your family have a history of twins Mrs Nut?”

29/05/19 17:30:39

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6984Chris Keegan

“There you are little one, say hollow to your mum”

29/05/19 14:57:19

 
stone face Vote score: 5687stone face

It's probably from that time when you got dry roasted.

29/05/19 14:54:04

 
stone face Vote score: 5687stone face

It's going to be packed in my little car now, there's not much legume as it is.

29/05/19 14:15:26

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2489Trace Sarge

Shelled out a lot to go private

29/05/19 13:56:30

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2489Trace Sarge

Busy day...a fruit and nut case.

29/05/19 13:55:34

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 1271Scrappy Doo

You look like Madonna!

29/05/19 13:40:17

 
Alasdair Kerr Alasdair Kerr

"Hey 'chelle ,A nut birth isn't all it's cracked up to be...."

29/05/19 12:26:12

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7561Mr Dome

- what is it?
- cashew
- bless you

29/05/19 11:38:51

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 5718Greg Curtis

“Again: not ‘Michelle’; m’SHELLL.”

29/05/19 11:32:44

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 4657Vivvy En

"That's the last time you'll monkey around with me, Goober."

29/05/19 11:24:11

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5901Hercules Rockefeller

"I'm just happy you decided not to turn it into butter."

29/05/19 11:22:05

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37339Welsh Rarebit

Photograph of a sexually assalted peanut giving birth.

29/05/19 11:21:39

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37339Welsh Rarebit

"When I tell my parents that I've had a baby, they're going to give me a right roasting!"

29/05/19 11:20:24

 
James Lennox Vote score: 3299James Lennox

"Bloody hell Doc. I spread as well as I could but that wasn't smooth, more crunchy."

29/05/19 11:19:54

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4620The Wolf

When Mrs Salty gave birth to a Dry Roasted, Mr Salty did his nut.

29/05/19 11:13:43

 
Sam Cass Vote score: 805Sam Cass

Is this how it happens? That's just nuts!

29/05/19 11:12:18

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5737Dave Bryan

''Who's the father?''
''I think he's one of Nobby's nuts.''

29/05/19 11:11:24

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5737Dave Bryan

''There may be another ready to come out. Can I take a pecan see?''

29/05/19 11:04:24

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 6984Chris Keegan

“The good news is that it’s twins, the bad news is she’s going to be nothing but a shell of her former self”

29/05/19 11:03:14

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 4886Stephen Bean

"Macadam-mamma-mia, that was a tough nut to crack!"

29/05/19 11:01:05

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 13338Dan Nicholls

"It's a boy - look at his little peanus"

29/05/19 11:01:03

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5737Dave Bryan

''Can you take it away? I'm allergic to nuts.''

29/05/19 11:00:45

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 37339Welsh Rarebit

Sadly Shelley developed a nut allergy and died giving birth.

29/05/19 11:00:44

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 13338Dan Nicholls

Look what happens when you empty your nuts.

29/05/19 11:00:41

 
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