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"Listen Molly, its nothing personal, but the boss has just asked me to fire you."
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stone face Vote score: 3927stone face

"Listen Molly, it's nothing personal, but the boss has just asked me to fire you."

15/05/19 8:56:57

 
Lawrence Day Vote score: 418Lawrence Day

Thanks for helping , the toaster not working.

15/05/19 11:51:49

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 5413Glyn Evans

"Got a light?"

15/05/19 8:01:38

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3901Dave Bryan

''He's one of my old flames.''

15/05/19 8:02:08

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9094Neil Mackenzie

F*ck Tw@t C&nt.
I think your problem is you’ve got Turrets Syndrome.

15/05/19 17:18:25

 2
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 1705Crunchy Chords

Sure, she's adorable now, but by the end of GøT she'll be an evil bitch.

15/05/19 15:41:13

 1
Sam Cass Vote score: 521Sam Cass

Jehovah Witnesses see an upsurge in new members after unleashing their new window to window strategy.

In other news, health officials are reporting a rise in deaths related to heart attacks and 4th degree burns.

15/05/19 13:08:20

 
Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 520Zak Toby1998

"No you pervert I said if you come near my window i'll make sure you get slayed!"

15/05/19 9:29:42

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 789Spycenwolf

Bother of dragons.

15/05/19 8:05:06

 
stone face Vote score: 3927stone face

The Game Of Thrones tour was quite interesting, but it didn't half dragon.

15/05/19 8:04:27

 
larry G. Vote score: 1211larry G.

"Sorry, Shrek's not here."

15/05/19 16:55:34

 
Tim Lee-Priore Vote score: 18Tim Lee-Priore

Would you like french friars with that?

15/05/19 16:19:09

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 860Karen Oakenfull

“Woah there dragon! Talk to the hand, cuz the face aint sizzling.”

15/05/19 16:17:14

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2593Stephen Bean

Kindle Surprise

15/05/19 11:16:35

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2593Stephen Bean

♪ Come on baby, light my fire

15/05/19 10:54:40

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3901Dave Bryan

Tower block residents warned of new fire risk.

15/05/19 8:29:04

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1731James Lennox

"Maybe it's been a long time since I had sex, but the bottom half of that dragon reminds me of a really long penis and two testicles."

"Well, yes, to answer myself, it must have been a very long time indeed, because genitalia isn't normally purple, penises don't have spikes, and I'm a heterosexual male."

15/05/19 8:16:51

 2
purple genitelia and a penis with spikes is quite normal in my family. Especially with the women. --stone face
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2593Stephen Bean

"Donkey and I have an amazing love life but I don't understand why he doesn't let me give him a blow job."

15/05/19 8:13:43

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3901Dave Bryan

Georgina and the Dragon

15/05/19 8:13:25

 
stone face Vote score: 3927stone face

"Listen my sweet, am not afraid of your husband returning. My dragon love runs deep for you. And if he does return, well King George can just take his chances with me."

15/05/19 8:12:33

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 3901Dave Bryan

''Please say you'll marry me. I'll wait for your reply.''

''Don't hold your breath...... Agh!''

15/05/19 8:07:47

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2593Stephen Bean

"I can hardly see for the Smaug."

15/05/19 8:03:40

 
Scrappy Doo Vote score: 723Scrappy Doo

How to House-train Your Dragon

16/05/19 22:39:21

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 33Willie Johnson

Surprisingly there is one that really does exist - a male asking for directions.

16/05/19 0:11:31

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 33Willie Johnson

"She just stepped out for a minute. May I tell her who's calling on her?"

16/05/19 0:09:51

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 33Willie Johnson

"Fancy meeting you here."

16/05/19 0:07:11

 
larry G. Vote score: 1211larry G.

"Sorry, Donkey is seeing someone else."

15/05/19 16:58:27

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18820John Glover

"Thanks, but I don't need you today, my prince has bought me some Veet."

15/05/19 16:01:20

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5533Chris Keegan

The dragon did eventually FFFFu*k off, he wasn’t taking anymore of Juliet’s turret’s.

15/05/19 10:23:06

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 270Gavin Smithers

"I'm not a cold caller. Double glazing? Fit the best- Everest!"

15/05/19 10:12:03

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2593Stephen Bean

*David Attenborough commentating* “The rare and beautiful Jabber*ocky or Jabberwilly as it is sometimes known, can frequently be found pestering young maidens.”

15/05/19 9:50:25

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2593Stephen Bean

"Please help me, I keep firing blanks. I think I have a reptile dysfunction."

15/05/19 9:24:19

 
Trace Sarge Vote score: 2197Trace Sarge

"Could you please not drag on my wall"

15/05/19 9:20:25

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 12334Dan Nicholls

Tinder date with an old flame.

15/05/19 9:00:58

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 4828Paul Reeve

“I must say Mr Dragon you have got some bollocks coming up here asking me for a date, considering how rude you were the last time we met.”

15/05/19 8:59:13

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35520Welsh Rarebit

Puff ladder

15/05/19 8:52:59

 
Molly R Vote score: 872Molly R

"You've come to rescue me? That's just balls!"

15/05/19 8:52:47

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 35520Welsh Rarebit

Games of Thrones

15/05/19 8:49:38

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 789Spycenwolf

They take "You're fired!" too literally at the Trump Tower.

15/05/19 8:39:29

 
Spycenwolf  Vote score: 789Spycenwolf

She is more of a people person.
He is more of a purple dragon.
But can the flame of love be kindled between such unlikely souls?
Coming to your screens soon:
Flame Irresistible

15/05/19 8:37:52

 
Gassy Statten Vote score: 246Gassy Statten

Puff really fancied his Welsh Rarebit-on-the-side.

15/05/19 8:32:46

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20517Ian Skelding

"Put the 'D' back on that hat and go back to the corner of the room."

15/05/19 8:16:55

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20517Ian Skelding

"The local Council take a dim view of the theft and defacement of traffic cones."

15/05/19 8:15:22

 
Gary Stuckey Gary Stuckey

This pizza is 45 minutes late! Man you're draggin' today!"

15/05/19 8:13:50

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5535Hercules Rockefeller

"Stop dragging your feet all over my wall!"

15/05/19 8:13:09

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 4032Vivvy En

"Two pigs, two deer and a Snappy Meal, please."

15/05/19 8:08:39

 
James Lennox Vote score: 1731James Lennox

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your ... JEEZUZ, ignore that, I'm out of hair."

15/05/19 8:07:35

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 20517Ian Skelding

"Chase me."

15/05/19 8:06:16

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 2593Stephen Bean

Reign of Fire

15/05/19 8:00:36

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 5533Chris Keegan

Dragons Den

15/05/19 8:00:12

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 1737Stu Dent

How to trail your dragon

15/05/19 8:00:09

 
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