"Brenda, you've been staring at that bottle for over an hour"

"Yeah I Know, it says concentrate on it"

17/05/17 7:52:10

The two dunderheads were completely oblivious to Darth Vader rising through the bench

17/05/17 13:58:07

"It will make your hair curl, but it also encourages ear wax, but that's great for polishing your boots."

17/05/17 12:34:03

"My arm is permanently stuck here because I can't speak without a phone"
"I'm the same - except mine is
because I use the mike"

17/05/17 11:55:11

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...park wife.

17/05/17 8:12:39

It was a sad but familiar story. From a few social drinks, then a bottle of vodka a day then on to household cleaner. Now she didn't even hide her problem, she drank straight from the container.

17/05/17 7:43:51

...''and after you've washed your hair you can do all the dishes, it's great.''

17/05/17 7:29:09

Poundstrethere picnic

18/05/17 17:35:56

"This stuff makes my hair itch."

17/05/17 18:32:05

"Drain cleaner? Oh, I thought it said brain cleaner."

17/05/17 9:56:44

🎵She's an undedicated follower of fashion🎵

17/05/17 8:56:48

"Wanna try this miracle beauty cure? I haven't tried it, of course. Oh! There's one side effect - 'May cause fingertips to turn green'."

17/05/17 8:40:21

Dye Hard II.

17/05/17 8:30:11

"Right, we've tackled our hair. Now what the hell are we going to do about our ridiculous shoes?"

17/05/17 8:11:22

"Look Davina, you're 74 years old. Time to let it go love. Have a burger and let your grey grow out for God's sake".

17/05/17 8:08:10

It's not a wig? But you lost all your hair after Chemotherapy. You used to be ash blonde and now you're Ginger.
I know it's this remarkable product I made, that cures baldness but until I can get rid of the Ginger side effect no body wants to buy it.

17/05/17 8:06:10

"It's the only hair colourant strong enough to dye ginger pubes."

17/05/17 7:56:55

"Here, Trace ....... try some of this Cillit Bang, it's great stuff, I'm sure it'll clear up your chlamydia."

17/05/17 7:24:32

'It's called JEANS REMOVER and because yours look really naff, I thought ...'

17/05/17 7:22:09

"Looks like you could do with some of this bleach for your hair.?"

17/05/17 7:02:51